Girl ruined my rep...

I'm 18, just started year 13 a couple of months ago. I asked a girl out (who I've only known for a few weeks), and she turned me down, which is fine... but then I've been hearing her spreading horrible rumours about me. About how I tried to grab her, or sexually harassed her, won't stop trying to go after her, etc. and none of it is true! All I did was ask her if she wanted to go for a drink with me and she is making me out to be a paedophile or something! What can I do in this situation? It's really making me feel uncomfortable; the repeated dirty looks from girls, people suddenly not wanting to sit next to me, not many people want to talk to me anymore. What can I do? I don't know why this girl wants to ruin me like this. My name has almost become synonymous with 'pervert', 'stalker', 'creep' etc. and I feel so helpless.

Reply 1

Somali-Pir8

9

Paedophile?
How old was she?

Reply 2

username764698

8

Confront her! Tell her to stop spreading sh*t because it's immature and dumb. And tell your own friends too, because they're so much more likely to believe you than her.
Anyway, if it carries on though, just punch her. Girls are awful (I would know, I go to an all girls school..)

Reply 3

President Snow

17

Talk to her?

If that doesn't work, threaten her with defamation laws? My understanding (thought I am not a lawyer), is that slander is initially a civil matter. Threaten court action/sue her for damages over slander laws.

Warn her that if this continues, it may go onto become harassment, at which point it is a criminal act. Maybe also point out that the burden of proof is on the defendant rather than the plaintiff.

Even if you don't intend to follow through, she might stop.

And maybe phone the police non-emergency number and ask what if anything they can do, or for advice?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 4

senator88

14

Confront her and ask to her stop it/tell everyone it's not true

If she doesn't then just start up a rumour that the reason she's so pissed at you is because you know she has a penis :rolleyes:

Reply 5

NStar95

Publicly humiliate her, asking her why she's spreading such shizz.
Then everyone will see though her lies.

Or if your a more sensible person.. Just ignore it because your in year 13 and your going to be leaving school soon.

Reply 6

President Snow

17

Although be careful not to slander her back, as this could harm your case.

Reply 7

InnerTemple

20

Original post by Jainz

Confront her! Tell her to stop spreading sh*t because it's immature and dumb. And tell your own friends too, because they're so much more likely to believe you than her.
Anyway, if it carries on though, just punch her. Girls are awful (I would know, I go to an all girls school..)

I think this could make things worse. The next round of rumours will circulate, only this time they will be backed up with an element of truth: "He threatened me..."

Surely you have friends? Surely they, having known you, will support you? If you do decide to talk to this girl, do it with another person present - a friend, member of staff etc.

Reply 8

Baines3

10

Go along with it, but play it off in a jokey sort of way. Just don't show that it's winding you up. If you go along with it and take it on the chin, she'll get wound up herself and will be made to look like some psychotic bitch.

For example, if she says you touched her, say something like Now then, now then, now then, and make a Jimmy Saville gag out of it.

Reply 9

InnerTemple

20

Original post by Baines3

Go along with it, but play it off in a jokey sort of way. Just don't show that it's winding you up. If you go along with it and take it on the chin, she'll get wound up herself and will be made to look like some psychotic bitch.

For example, if she says you touched her, say something like Now then, now then, now then, and make a Jimmy Saville gag out of it.

Yes, I forgot to include this in my advice:

If someone say's you're a pervert, do impressions of a well known pedophile. Works every time.

(not)

Reply 10

Tahooper

17

Original post by Jainz

Confront her! Tell her to stop spreading sh*t because it's immature and dumb. And tell your own friends too, because they're so much more likely to believe you than her.
Anyway, if it carries on though, just punch her. Girls are awful (I would know, I go to an all girls school..)

Surely that would make people believe the girl even more if she had a black eye?

Reply 11

Michaelj

10

She sounds like a right dickhead.

Reply 12

username764698

8

Original post by Tahooper

Surely that would make people believe the girl even more if she had a black eye?

Yeah, probably..
It'd probs make him feel better though. :')

Reply 13

ellipsis...

9

Original post by President Snow

Talk to her?

If that doesn't work, threaten her with defamation laws? My understanding (thought I am not a lawyer), is that slander is initially a civil matter. Threaten court action/sue her for damages over slander laws.

Warn her that if this continues, it may go onto become harassment, at which point it is a criminal act. Maybe also point out that the burden of proof is on the defendant rather than the plaintiff.

Even if you don't intend to follow through, she might stop.

And maybe phone the police non-emergency number and ask what if anything they can do, or for advice?

It think this is the best piece of advice, don't try to come to some arrangement that if she stops you won't go to the police. Just go to the police anyway, don't show any mercy, it's manipulative evil people like this that ruin people's lives.
Not just for your sake but for the sake of people in the future, do all you can to get her arrested or kicked out of school.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Confront her face to face and tell her straight. Ask to speak to her on her own, if she won't, just say it in front of anyone else who's there. Girls like her need to here it straight or they won't grow up! (and this is coming from a female!)

Reply 15

kasirari

tell the people who you usually are around the truth (that you didn't), and blank her: be completely impassive when you see her or if she tries to provoke you >...<
don't give in, stay proud and raise your head high because you've done nothing wrong :yep: