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Not sure where I stand, probably just being dense

Basically, decided to ask a guy out (a friend of a friend, who I've met a handful of times) on a date a while back. On the advice of a male friend, I did it in the most casual way I could possibly think of - I told him I had a packed timetable the next day, would probably be going for a coffee regardless, and would he like to join me?

The reply was that he was busy in the morning (gave a reason to do with a commitment that we'd talked about before). He invited me along to what he had already planned to do in the afternoon, with some mutual friends of ours/some of his friends. He was very apologetic that he hadn't replied to me straight away, even though it only took him about half an hour to reply.

Well, where do I go from here? It's about 2 weeks on from this. I've seen him at a couple of social events since, including a party of his that he invited me to. He seems rather shy around me, and I am around him.

He's such a lovely, sweet guy. Did he basically turn down my date in the most suave way possible, or could he have just not realised I was asking him out? If he'd realised I'd asked him out, why would he have come to my party/invited me to his, where there was plenty of potential for awkwardness?

Reply 1

RichyFrench

Guys don't do subtle, we've mentioned this one million times. Also, even if he did realise (which I doubt he did), not everyone will cancel their social life in the event that they might encounter a few minutes of awkwardness.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by RichyFrench

Oh no, I didn't expect him to drop things! I just wondered if it was a convenient way for him to turn me down, since he never mentioned going out another time.

Reply 3

Journeyzap

Well, I might daresay that he is actually interested if he invited you along... :smile:

Only that he is very shy about it, so you will both have to gradually move out of the subtlety-zone and be a bit more forwards to achieve more sound responses.

Reply 4

purple_fox27

If he invited you along he must be somewhat interested, whether its as friends or something more! Ask him out again and see what he says. If he says no again, the ball will be in his court again so wait for him to make a move :smile:

Or maybe you both just need to get drunk together and make out...

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Journeyzap

Well, I might daresay that he is actually interested if he invited you along... :smile:

Only that he is very shy about it, so you will both have to gradually move out of the subtlety-zone and be a bit more forwards to achieve more sound responses.

I've no problem being forward - I could force myself to get over the shyness if I thought it would advance things. I just worry he'll get scared off. But I seem to have been too subtle this time round and it backfired...