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Mark my draft comparing Base Details and Exposure?

Hey, I am in year 10 and have just started English Literature. I have already done 2 controlled assessments which I got As in but for the next one I need to compare war poetry. I really didn't know where to start, but I have written this so far;

A comparison of 'Base Details' and 'Exposure'

Themes
The main theme of 'Base Details' is Sassoon’s bitterness and anger at the class and rank systems that dominated the army in 1914. It was within this system that the majors and officials alike were separated by privilege, luxury and comfort from the soldiers who fought on the front. The poem particularly attacks the way the majors and generals sacrificed the lives of thousands of men without second thought 'Speed glum heroes up the line of death' .
-Compare to theme of 'Exposure'
Base Details' by Siegfried Sassoon and 'Exposure' by Wilfred Owen are two poems that focus on different aspects of war; the weather, and the military Majors- both of which portrayed as indifferent by the poems. Indifference and inadequate understanding is the key link between both, there are differences also: within the structure, tone, meaning and techniques used. 'Exposure' focuses hatred on the war at not the enemy, nor the bullets they fire, but the weather. This gives the reader an insight to the true terrors of war ; that the soldiers main efforts weren't against the enemy as they would expect, but something so callous and unforgiving. Sassoon directs his anger towards the majors, perhaps because they believe the majors have power to change, whilst the weather and conditions are unconditional.
Capturing the readers attentions is the first line in both of the poems. Firstly, 'Exposure starts off with 'Our brains ache, in the merciless iced east winds that knife us ... ' straight away this shows the narrator is experiencing the situations in the poem first hand. In one way, this may seem to be a way of connecting to the readers, as it almost includes them with language like 'Our' and 'us'. However, this actually creates a distance between the two, it's as if the narrator is suggesting the reader doesn’t have experience with war, and that they are far away from the situations of the soldiers to understand it. The use of first person plurals makes the situations seem very real as opposed to- their 'brains ache' as this doesn't give the same level of understanding. Sibilance is also used in 'Exposures' opening 'merciless iced east winds that knife us' this creates the harsh hissing sound of the wind, further emphasising that the wind 'knifes' the soldiers. The sibilance and the use of no commas make the reader read it fast, recreating the bitter wind’s speed. Personification is also used to make the weather the enemy in the first sentence, the wind knifing the soldiers give it human traits to label it as the enemy. 'Exposures' opening is a strong one; the subtle use of various devices automatically make it stand out and stick in the mind of the reader.
-structure
'Base Details' takes form as a short one-stanza poem, this makes it seem although the text is pouring out the narrators mouth in a flood of anger. The use of one single stanza displays to the reader that the narrator thinks title of the majors, the shortage could also be an indication to the patience the speaker has left for the war. Whereas 'Exposure' has 8 stanzas, all structured in the same way; this could suggest the seemingly ceaselessness f the horrific conditions, and the war itself. The fact that the structure of each of the stanzas is the same, signifies that they are going in circles and not seeming to get anywhere new, it also reinforces the endless horror. The different lengths of both poems have been used purposely to set tones for both, 'Base details' uses structure to convey a tone of hatred and disgust, this tone is directed at the majors at the people in charge. 'Exposure' uses structure to create a tone of despair and hopelessness of the soldiers on the front, showing they have given up on fighting for glory.
Titles
Behind both titles there are hidden meanings, 'Exposure' would first seem to be the physical effect on the soldiers, but also perhaps of the soldiers' innermost thoughts. Also, the title could be a reference to Wilfred Owen exposing the truth about war- how vulnerable the soldiers really feel and that war is not as full of glory as it first may seem. 'Base would most commonly be seen as the centre of control and command, however 'Base' could also be used to describe the majors; contemptible, mean-spirited and lacking in human decency, 'Details' could mean the
fine details going on at base , however, it could also be a reference to orders the soldiers were given. The double meaning titles is a similarity between the two poems, and they have both been used to hide true meaning
Sarcasm in 'Base Details'
The bitterly sarcastic nature of 'Base Details' is the main difference between the two poems,

Linguistic devices

Alliteration and onomatopoeia are used in both poems: 'Guzzling and Gulping' in 'Base Details' and 'Streak the silence'. Although the contexts of both differ completely, they both do the same thing. ' Guzzling and gulping' highlights the greed of the majors as they hurriedly guzzle down
their fine foods, comparing to the plain and often cold meals the soldiers would be given
The use of onomatopoeia emphasises the way in which they eat their food- not with consideration for men on the front, but greedily, Sassoon has used this to compare the majors to pigs, and uses alliteration to further highlight its importance. 'Streak the silence' uses onomatopoeia to represent the hissing of the bullets as they pass, this could also mean the bullets are close to soldiers which emphasises that the bullets are 'less deadly than the air' it emphasises this because the soldiers don't bother moving away from the bullets as the weather is their main enemy. The fact that the bullets interrupt the silence suggest they were sudden and eagerly anticipated.

Ignore the titles, they are part of the draft because I like organizing my thinking. I am just looking for some feedback (I am pretty sure it's not very good so don't be afraid to tell me the harsh truth.) Also if someone could help on what else I should write about because it is supposed to be 4 pages long according to my teacher. Help would be appreciated!
Reply 1
Original post by Abeh
Hey, I am in year 10 and have just started English Literature. I have already done 2 controlled assessments which I got As in but for the next one I need to compare war poetry. I really didn't know where to start, but I have written this so far;

A comparison of 'Base Details' and 'Exposure'

Themes
The main theme of 'Base Details' is Sassoon’s bitterness and anger at the class and rank systems that dominated the army in 1914. It was within this system that the majors and officials alike were separated by privilege, luxury and comfort from the soldiers who fought on the front. The poem particularly attacks the way the majors and generals sacrificed the lives of thousands of men without second thought 'Speed glum heroes up the line of death' .
-Compare to theme of 'Exposure'
Base Details' by Siegfried Sassoon and 'Exposure' by Wilfred Owen are two poems that focus on different aspects of war; the weather, and the military Majors- both of which portrayed as indifferent by the poems. Indifference and inadequate understanding is the key link between both, there are differences also: within the structure, tone, meaning and techniques used. 'Exposure' focuses hatred on the war at not the enemy, nor the bullets they fire, but the weather. This gives the reader an insight to the true terrors of war ; that the soldiers main efforts weren't against the enemy as they would expect, but something so callous and unforgiving. Sassoon directs his anger towards the majors, perhaps because they believe the majors have power to change, whilst the weather and conditions are unconditional.
Capturing the readers attentions is the first line in both of the poems. Firstly, 'Exposure starts off with 'Our brains ache, in the merciless iced east winds that knife us ... ' straight away this shows the narrator is experiencing the situations in the poem first hand. In one way, this may seem to be a way of connecting to the readers, as it almost includes them with language like 'Our' and 'us'. However, this actually creates a distance between the two, it's as if the narrator is suggesting the reader doesn’t have experience with war, and that they are far away from the situations of the soldiers to understand it. The use of first person plurals makes the situations seem very real as opposed to- their 'brains ache' as this doesn't give the same level of understanding. Sibilance is also used in 'Exposures' opening 'merciless iced east winds that knife us' this creates the harsh hissing sound of the wind, further emphasising that the wind 'knifes' the soldiers. The sibilance and the use of no commas make the reader read it fast, recreating the bitter wind’s speed. Personification is also used to make the weather the enemy in the first sentence, the wind knifing the soldiers give it human traits to label it as the enemy. 'Exposures' opening is a strong one; the subtle use of various devices automatically make it stand out and stick in the mind of the reader.
-structure
'Base Details' takes form as a short one-stanza poem, this makes it seem although the text is pouring out the narrators mouth in a flood of anger. The use of one single stanza displays to the reader that the narrator thinks title of the majors, the shortage could also be an indication to the patience the speaker has left for the war. Whereas 'Exposure' has 8 stanzas, all structured in the same way; this could suggest the seemingly ceaselessness f the horrific conditions, and the war itself. The fact that the structure of each of the stanzas is the same, signifies that they are going in circles and not seeming to get anywhere new, it also reinforces the endless horror. The different lengths of both poems have been used purposely to set tones for both, 'Base details' uses structure to convey a tone of hatred and disgust, this tone is directed at the majors at the people in charge. 'Exposure' uses structure to create a tone of despair and hopelessness of the soldiers on the front, showing they have given up on fighting for glory.
Titles
Behind both titles there are hidden meanings, 'Exposure' would first seem to be the physical effect on the soldiers, but also perhaps of the soldiers' innermost thoughts. Also, the title could be a reference to Wilfred Owen exposing the truth about war- how vulnerable the soldiers really feel and that war is not as full of glory as it first may seem. 'Base would most commonly be seen as the centre of control and command, however 'Base' could also be used to describe the majors; contemptible, mean-spirited and lacking in human decency, 'Details' could mean the
fine details going on at base , however, it could also be a reference to orders the soldiers were given. The double meaning titles is a similarity between the two poems, and they have both been used to hide true meaning
Sarcasm in 'Base Details'
The bitterly sarcastic nature of 'Base Details' is the main difference between the two poems,

Linguistic devices

Alliteration and onomatopoeia are used in both poems: 'Guzzling and Gulping' in 'Base Details' and 'Streak the silence'. Although the contexts of both differ completely, they both do the same thing. ' Guzzling and gulping' highlights the greed of the majors as they hurriedly guzzle down
their fine foods, comparing to the plain and often cold meals the soldiers would be given
The use of onomatopoeia emphasises the way in which they eat their food- not with consideration for men on the front, but greedily, Sassoon has used this to compare the majors to pigs, and uses alliteration to further highlight its importance. 'Streak the silence' uses onomatopoeia to represent the hissing of the bullets as they pass, this could also mean the bullets are close to soldiers which emphasises that the bullets are 'less deadly than the air' it emphasises this because the soldiers don't bother moving away from the bullets as the weather is their main enemy. The fact that the bullets interrupt the silence suggest they were sudden and eagerly anticipated.

Ignore the titles, they are part of the draft because I like organizing my thinking. I am just looking for some feedback (I am pretty sure it's not very good so don't be afraid to tell me the harsh truth.) Also if someone could help on what else I should write about because it is supposed to be 4 pages long according to my teacher. Help would be appreciated!


Pleaaassse answer
Reply 2
Tall, isolated trees cast their reflections onto the vast lake below them as it stares through them in a perpetual state of misery. The muddy coloured eye consumes unfortunate raindrops that casscade into it as if it were a hollow beast despertat to fill its stomach. Causin an ongoing stir of ripples the rain disturbs the otherwise monotonously level surface. Amomgst the trees remains of buliding are shrouded in fine grey dust:relealing occasional clear streaks where the rain has fallen. Lone walls protrude up from the devastatio. their strucytutres unharmed by time, waiting to fall and join their brothers A pathetic remainder of the day's sun fails to compensate for the utterly bleak atmosphere. Grease covered turbid windows frame the scene, only highlighting the dull feautures further. I oull away from the wondow at this and watch as the water vapour from my exhaltion fades from the glass.
Long since have I become accustomed to the pungent chemical odour constantly present here; it permeates your skin and every fibre of you clothing. People attempt to mask the scent by dousing themselves in a clopyingly sweet artificial one, but it is inescapable. This putrid smell seems to invade evem my mout and throat. A lingering bitter taste overpowers my taste buds at most times. Oppresibvely heavy air that persists and clings follows me. A reminder of the superior force in control. Miles away from the city I struggle to find an area where the air is remotely clean. Like the smell, I have learned to deal with the ceasless sick feeling in my gut.
I cast my eyes down to the empty wooden chair beside me. Paler pathces of wood are visible, worn down and sagging. Glancing around the tension in the cariagge starts to creep up on me. Silence, par a few mutters persists. Humming from the trains engine is the only other noise to be heard. The tabbles, chairs, floor: everything seems to hum like an ooffkey orchestra. Deep blue and mottl4ed doors guard either side of the box, trapping us in for our 'own safety'. This train is less so a train and more so a patchwork of scrap pieces found here and there. WHats left of the original train is unclear. Scraps of tarnished metal replaced the rotting wooden skirting- chairs screwed to the laminate floor taken from abandoned school houses. There is no lighting, only the white daylight, even when darkness takes over.
Taking me by suprise the locomotive screaches to a halt. Nobody moves; we're in the middle pf the journet, nowhere near the station.
A crackling buzz from the coms unit onboard echoes, the speakers vibrating. Almost mockingly, a female clears her throat to gather the attenition of passengers. It is apparant that she knows there is no need for this; every passamger is paying their undisputed attention to her. "Greetings, passengers on journey 317, we apolagise for this distruptoin, there is something you all should be aware of" The clear indifferent tone of the vouce disgust me, as it attempts to show emotion, but the fakery is unbearable and rehearsed. The insincere voice continues "Upon deboarding you will be escorted to a C.R.U, thank you for your donation. Our City will be forever grateful for the sacrifice you have made." Static noice signifies the end of the announcement and the train abrubtly pusahes forward. My hands clutch the sides of my chair, and they ache... Sacrifice?

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