The Student Room Group

are most western people desperate to become a non virgin?

I am an Asian and 19 to 22 year old virgins are quite common here.

From what I've read in various forums and movies that I watched, I get the feeling that people living in western countries try hard to lose their virginity before high school ends/ college or whatever. It is like a goal for them to lose it rather than to be in meaningful relationships.

I don't get it. Is it THAT shameful to be a virgin?

Just to clear things up, I am not one of those who insist that ppl should save themselves for marriage as I am not on board with the idea too. I don't see the importance of becoming a non virgin as quick as possible, sometimes even doing it with people that you dont even like that much. My ideal first time partner would be a long term boyfriend ( more than 9 months ).
To some extent yeah being a virgin is seen as sad.

I thought I was late losing mine but turns out I was the first in our friendship group
People overreact, thinking that if they're still virgins at 22 they're going to be "forever alone". Although not everyone is desperate to lose their V by that age, it is very common and quite ridiculous in my opinion.
Yes definitely. I wasn't too fussed when I lost mine bit virginity is a big deal in mid teens to late teens.
I'm in no rush to lose mine, I'd rather wait for the right person who I am completely comfortable and deeply in love with. I'd rather it be meaningful.

I doubt it will happen for me any time soon anyway. I'll probably be in my twenties...
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I am an Asian and 19 to 22 year old virgins are quite common here.

From what I've read in various forums and movies that I watched, I get the feeling that people living in western countries try hard to lose their virginity before high school ends/ college or whatever. It is like a goal for them to lose it rather than to be in meaningful relationships.

I don't get it. Is it THAT shameful to be a virgin?

Just to clear things up, I am not one of those who insist that ppl should save themselves for marriage as I am not on board with the idea too. I don't see the importance of becoming a non virgin as quick as possible, sometimes even doing it with people that you dont even like that much. My ideal first time partner would be a long term boyfriend ( more than 9 months ).


I was pretty keen to lose it, yeah. Not so much due to "shame", but more the natural teenage boy sex drive, and the feeling I was missing out on something amazing.

There's also a massive double standard between men and women. With men the pressure is massively on the side of getting laid, women are more divided with pressure both to not be seen as prudish or childish, but also not to be a "slut". The balance of this largely depends on their social circle.
is this based on American Pie?

i think people are only ashamed to be a virgin once they turn 20, before that its still considered normal. but if everyone around you at school is doing it and bragging about it, naturally you feel as though you're missing out.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 7
There is a social pressure from the age of about 15 for you to get with someone and lose it.


Spoiler

Yeah it is shameful to be 20+ and a virgin.

Why that is, I don't know. If you're unattractive, it won't be surprising that you're virgin so I am not sure why being a virgin would in itself be the problem (rather than that you're unattractive). If you're not unattractive, I don't even know what the problem is.

It's quite an irrational prejudice.
Reply 9
It's undeniable that in the west there are a lot of morons who will mock people for being virgins after the age of maybe 17-18? But they are as stated... morons.

I'm 19 and not ashamed to admit I'm a virgin. It doesn't bother me whatsoever, not for now at least. Although I'll admit between the ages of maybe 15-16 and somewhat when I was 17 I wanted to loose it.

But whatever, who cares? :smile:
I'd say not as many people lose it in their teens as people think. It's just only the people who are having sex shout from the rooftops about it. If you haven't lost it, you just sort of keep quiet about it.

I for one lost it at uni and know lots of people who did. I'd had a couple of boyfriends before then, just hadn't really got serious with any of them.
There are a lot of people who shame others for still being a virgin at a certain age so naturally everyone starts to think it's embarrassing and that they're somehow abnormal. Once I heard a girl at my school say "I couldn't deal with being a virgin at 16!" :lolwut: She then went on to say she lost her virginity at 14... so yeah. That's the attitude that a lot of people seem to have, which is worrying.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending