I have always disliked living in Scotland. I have never lived anywhere else. I really, really want to move away but I see no way out and wouldn't even know where to go.
The drinking, the football, the "weeey, ya fanny" types that are practically everywhere. I have always received abuse from my fellow Scots, both children and adults alike, it just seems to be how they communicate with each other and I hate it. It's a very closed culture. If you can't be like them they don't accept you. Even those that aren't thuggish, you know, ordinary ladies and gentlemen, seem very culturally influenced and treat you unfairly if you're not in tune with that or have different interests from what they perceive as normal. There is a massive rich and poor divide and a lot of snobbery going back and forth between the two sides of that divide. It's cold, it's dark, it's cloudy most of the year. The weather makes me sick all year round and I know it's the weather doing it because it gets a lot worse in winter. I hate how everything looks so grey and stony here, kind of just blends in with the sky and it's so depressing. I also find it depressing how all our wildlife has been nerfed. I always wanted to go somewhere to explore wilderness but apart from in the highlands wilderness does not exist in Scotland.
I should be grateful but I guess living here for 25 years takes it's toll after a while. I just have no idea how I'm going to afford to get out of here. I feel trapped.