Please inform me about my mistakes in english writing

My English is not so good, but I have to write some lines to university. i want to you check my lines and inform me about mistakes. That lines these are:
Most respected dear, I have applied to........ (university name), sending by T.C.S (courier company) which has received by MOHSIN on 10/19/2014 11:35:00 AM. My question is that when university publish the list of acceptance.
Please help me friends........
Have a good day to everyone.

Reply 1

x-Venezia-x

10

Original post by mr.gestapu

My English is not so good, but I have to write some lines to university. i want to you check my lines and inform me about mistakes. That lines these are:
Most respected dear, I have applied to........ (university name), sending by T.C.S (courier company) which has received by MOHSIN on 10/19/2014 11:35:00 AM. My question is that when university publish the list of acceptance.
Please help me friends........
Have a good day to everyone.

Dear Sir/Madam, I have applied at University of ......... (Or .....,....... University), sending by T.C.S which has now been received by Mohsin on the 19th October 2014. I am just wondering when the university will publish the list of acceptance?

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Reply 2

mr.gestapu

OP

Thanks a lot my friend. Quick reply ! Great ! thanks again.

Reply 3

mr.gestapu

OP

Dear Venezia! I want to add some lines again,
" Dear Sir, I have applied at .................., sending by T.C.S (shipper name: ..........) which has now been received by Mohsin on the 19th October 2014. I am just wondering when the university will publish the list of acceptance?
Dear Sir, my humble request is that please give me a chance for studying in the university.
Your future student ..........

Reply 4

mr.gestapu

OP

guys ! I need your help, Please ......!

Reply 5

_Fergo

19

Dear Sir, I would also like to humbly request a chance to study at the university.

Will you send that second part along with the first? If so, there's no need to add "Dear Sir" again.

Certainly do not add "your future student", as it's too cheeky (especially if combined with the question, itself rather cheeky if you ask me).