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My friend isn't eating anymore, help!

So I don't know what to do because my friend won't eat. Like she'll buy food occasionally and then just find an excuse like it's a weird texture, or it tastes burnt...something like that. She doesn't have breakfast, hardly ever has lunch (or if she does it's soup or something like that). She does occasionally have chocolate and cookies and stuff, but that's usually because it's all she's eaten in like 24 hrs.
When we go to coffee shops she often just sits there and doesn't even get anything.
I don't want to be a bad friend but I just can't deal with it anymore :/ She's losing so much weight it's frightening. And I know that she's lying when she tells me she ate lots for dinner. She won't get help either so I don't know what to do.
It's effecting me as she's one of my only friends and I spend loads of time with her, and all she does is sit there looking sullen and saying things like "I don't know why I'm tired" or things like that - like, does she not see that it's because she never eats?! Also, she calorie counts, counts how many steps she takes, etc.
I feel like I've done all I can - I got her a camhs appointment and everything, and she just won't go. I don't want anything more to do with her but I don't know how to tell her that as we are still really close.
Really don't know what to do right now...any advice? Thanks :smile:
Reply 1
She is obviously going through a really hard experience right now, and although it's tough for you to see it, you shouldn't abandon her because she is not acting herself. If she is refusing to get help then you need to inform someone else, which can be difficult but she really needs help. Try telling her family if you're close to them, a sibling, another friend, teacher or counsellor. Just don't abandon her.
When I was in school, one of my friends developed bulimia, and after lots of attempts to get her to stop, we ended up involved the school. We were 14 I think, so it was really too much for us all to handle. In the end, the managed to get her the help she needed, and she thanked us for it in the end. Not sure how old you are, but I suggest you tell your school/college/university or whatever so you aren't trying to deal with it yourself.
Make her favorite meal?

Is she not eating to loose weight?
Reply 4
Seriously - her parents 'know' but won't accept it (they substituted the drugs camhs prescribed for alternative medicine) and she was involved with CAMHS, who have had to cancel appointments as she just won't go (and her mum is fine with that). I don't know what else to do.
Original post by Anonymous
Seriously - her parents 'know' but won't accept it (they substituted the drugs camhs prescribed for alternative medicine) and she was involved with CAMHS, who have had to cancel appointments as she just won't go (and her mum is fine with that). I don't know what else to do.


There is only so much you can do to help if she won't accept the help herself. The worst thing to do now though is to abandon her, she might not show it but this is the time she needs you the most. Maybe make sure you have your own space and spend time with other friends to take the pressure off you. If you visit the b-eat website, they have really useful information for those who are affected by friends with eating disorders. Good luck! :smile:

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