dad

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il tell u exactly why they dont like him
and i kno i dont like that side of him either but mayb he has changed.

he hut my mum , he threw me down the stairs when i was 2 ,mum told me that, and mum said hes gay but im not sure if he actually is or if mum just said that to put me of findin him

Reply 21

.Andrew.

As you are 19, and wanting to know who he is, your nan should show you the pictures.

Wouldn't his name be on your Birth Certificate? If so, im sure you can get his name off of that, and go to the local Records Office, and find out more about him.

Also, it's not hard now-a-days to get address' of people either.

I think you should find your real dad, or all of your life you will be thinking 'what is he like etc...' and will regret not finding him.

After all, all he can say is: 'Go away' or 'Stay'.. But either way, at least you made an effort to get to know him, and met him, spoke to him etc...

Reply 22

joz12345

yea but i think i would b disapointed if i met him and he didnt want to kno me and or if he was exactly wot my mum had said

Reply 23

.Andrew.

joz12345

yea but i think i would b disapointed if i met him and he didnt want to kno me and or if he was exactly wot my mum had said

True.

But at least you mad an effort, and it's always good to know the truth, even if it is bad.

Maybe he will be pleased to see you, and hear from you.

Reply 24

joz12345

but also if i do find him and decide i dont want to kno him hel then kno where i am etc and he will b able to keep coming bk and tryin to get me

Reply 25

joz12345

sorry its silly i want to find him
but im scared

Reply 26

.Andrew.

joz12345

but also if i do find him and decide i dont want to kno him hel then kno where i am etc and he will b able to keep coming bk and tryin to get me

Don't tell him where you live.. Presuming you don't live at the same address you did when he was with your mum..

Reply 27

.Andrew.

joz12345

sorry its silly i want to find him
but im scared

Not silly at all.

Im sure if you asked a close friend, they will help you, and support you through it. And come with you when you meet him, if you manage to find him.

Reply 28

joz12345

i asked my boyfriend to but he doesnt want me to find him incase it disapoints me or i find sumthin i dont want to
however he said he would stil suport even if i did

Reply 29

aaaaahhhhh

If you want to find him, i think you DEFINATELY should. it's not about your mum, i know she may have been through a lot and just wants to protect you, but maybe you could organise a supervised visit, if he really threw you down the stairs. i mean it's only natural to want to know what your dad looks like etc. if your sister etc doesnt want to see him then thats fair enough, everyone to their own i suppose.

Don't be scared of what you might find, at least you will know. You said you may be disappointed, so in a way you are preparing yourself for the worst.

Also, about the not coming to find you, you never know there could be reasons. Yes, it could be down to lack of effort, but maybe hes changed a lot and is ashamed for the way he's treating you and your family and is afraid what your going to think about. Or that it will just cause a whole lot of trouble him having to contact your mum first to get to see you.

I think if i was in your position i would deffinately go for it, but then again i don't know the background, cant relate to it etc etc, so do just what feels right.

good luck if you choose to find him, hope everything goes well. remember it will be awkward at first, and prepare yourself for being disappointed. he will be just as scared meeting you aswell.