Unwanted Admirer

I am acquainted with this girl. We both have a mutual friend (who, by the way, is VERY attractive), whom I will refer to as "K". Recently, K told me that the girl (let's call her "A") "like-likes" me (that's the exact wording she used btw). Problem is, A isn't very attractive - in fact, she's very ugly, like a 4/10 at most. K is probably closer to a 7 at least, but she already has a boyfriend and is slightly below my usual standards anyway.

Well anyway, A doesn't seem to know that K told me, and she's been approaching a LOT recently, for example tapping me and saying hi/waving, stalking me on the Facebook, asking me about homework and stuff (we both do A2 Maths and Physics). She's generally a nice girl but she's so damn ugly and invasive. She tries to flirt with me but in all honesty it just makes me feel sick. I know if a guy did this to a girl, he'd be called creepy and a stalker, yet somehow it's deemed "acceptable" if it happens the other way round (double standards much...)

I get on very well with K, but whenever I try to talk to her, A is usually there and somehow always finds herself in amongst our conversations. She sits next to me sometimes at lunch or during frees and it seriously creeps me out. (FWIW, she and K are the only two females I've ever hung out with during school. All my other friends have been guys.) I just want her to leave me alone - but wtf am I supposed to do?! I've been ignoring her for the most part but idk where to go from there.

Spoiler

Anyway, help would be appreciated.

Tl;dr: Ugly girl wants the D (& has a much more attractive friend who is unnavailable) Idk how to ward her off. Tips?

Reply 1

bluemax

16

tell her randomly 'I'm so lucky to have such a nice friend like you' She'll understand she's in the friendzone. Cruel but she'll know that she has to move on.

Reply 2

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Original post by bluemax

tell her randomly 'I'm so lucky to have such a
nice friend like you' She'll understand she's in the friendzone. Cruel but she'll know that she has to move on.

Peng. Thanks, mate!

Reply 3

grapes12

8

First of all, you should not be judging A by her looks. If A and K had swapped bodies, would the circumstances change? Would you enjoy A's attention?
If the answer is yes, then you are basing this off of looks. Sure shes not your type and you're not attracted to her and that's perfectly okay, no one can judge you for that, but the way you come across in this seems a little big headed. No offense, but its how it appeared to me.
If the answer is no and you would still be freaked out, then it is obvious that it is her personality that weirds you out. If it gets to the point where you can no longer tolerate it, tell her shes a good friend but you need your space. She will understand if you are polite about it and don't cause a scene.
If she freaks out, then you have a psycho on your case and I wish you the best of luck.

Reply 4

SkyeOtaku

I agree that if you find Amelie unattractive then you would find it very annoying but when trying to distance yourself from her, don't be too harsh. She's still a high school student so try to consider her feelings a bit. Distance yourself from her bit by bit and try to make sure your body language totally shows no attraction towards her. It may be frustrating, but for the better good it would be better to be patient and slowly push her away. I agree with grapes though, try not to judge a girl by her looks but thats not really my problem ;p. As for K, try not to get too attached to her, you'll only get heartbroken (especially if she's loyal).
Girls are not confident, seeing a good looking girl makes us feel insecure (even if she is more attractive) or some are just trying to be modest. Just ignore it and you'll get used to it :3

Reply 5

Zarek

21

So it's easy, just treat A as a friend, giving no romantic encouragement, and if she asks you out say a polite no thanks. As to K, doesn't sound from what you say that she's up for it (just like you feel about A), but give it a go and ask her out. Finally I would try being less shallow, arrogant and mildly offensive in your language and some more opportunities might open up for you..

Reply 6

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Thanks for the responses everyone. Just a quick update, I did the "you're such a great friend" thing, but it seems like she's still persisting...

Reply 7

james1801

2

Original post by lonely-otaku

Thanks for the responses everyone. Just a quick update, I did the "you're such a great friend" thing, but it seems like she's still persisting...

just ignore her advances completely, sounds creepy and annoying

Reply 8

Stewie2011

12

You could put an emphasis on the 'friend' and if she doesn't seem to pick up repeat it until she falls in. On the other hand it may be easier to give Amelie what she wants the big D, if you were just looking at her bod and not her face, would her bod be ok to do it with? i.e. not real fat, nice boobs and ass even if a bit small.

Reply 9

hopeforthebest1

5

>OP - You said that "A" stalks you on facebook, how can you tell that?

Also, I had a guy friend who was kind of experiencing the same thing. There was a girl in our hall (at uni) that wouldn't leave him alone, especially if she'd been drinking. She would start hanging all over this guy and it happened regularly. He absolutely hated it and at first he tried to be nice and kind of walk away, then he started -still be nice- push her away and finally he just started getting mad. The girl still kept coming at him. He
finally got a different girlfriend and that put a stop to the uni hall girl hanging all over him. Guess you just need to go get another girlfriend! :biggrin:

Reply 10

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Original post by Stewie2011

On the other hand it may be easier to give Amelie what she wants the big D, if you were just looking at her bod and not her face, would her bod be ok to do it with? i.e. not real fat, nice boobs and ass even if a bit small.

Yuck, no, I'm not giving her my D, I have standards!! She has brown skin, which is never attractive IMO, and she's really ****ing short. I dont know if she's fat - she doesn't LOOK fat, but then again I've never seen her without clothes on (and tbh I don't really want to!!!) She has no boobs as far as I can tell, but then again who knows. She has a disgusting fat arse.

Reply 11

Stewie2011

12

Original post by lonely-otaku

Yuck, no, I'm not giving her my D, I have standards!! She has brown skin, which is never attractive IMO, and she's really ****ing short. I dont know if she's fat - she doesn't LOOK fat, but then again I've never seen her without clothes on (and tbh I don't really want to!!!) She has no boobs as far as I can tell, but then again who knows. She has a disgusting fat arse.

ok then.

Reply 12

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Original post by hopeforthebest1

>OP - You said that "A" stalks you on facebook, how can you tell that?Also, I had a guy friend who was kind of experiencing the same thing. There was a girl in our hall (at uni) that wouldn't leave him alone, especially if she'd been drinking. She would start hanging all over this guy and it happened regularly. He absolutely hated it and at first he tried to be nice and kind of walk away, then he started -still be nice- push her away and finally he just started getting mad. The girl still kept coming at him. Hefinally got a different girlfriend and that put a stop to the uni hall girl hanging all over him. Guess you just need to go get another girlfriend! :biggrin:

She sends me a lot of PMs, usually just "hi", which I've been ignoring as of late. She also likes everything I post. Trust me, I want a girlfriend, but none of the girls I like are interested in me. :-(

Reply 13

schmuur

12

Considering the circumstances, I don't think K would date you if her friendship with A meant anything, sorry! But to get A off your back, you should ask her for dating advice. Make up a fake girl from your work/sports club/gym that you go to, or from anything you do in your spare time. Tell A how you really like her but you don't know whether she likes you back/your too shy to ask her out. Then go on about her from time to time, and A will understand that you are not interested. It sounds mean but she will start to realise that you are not interested.

Reply 14

Feline_Nymphet

2

Original post by lonely-otaku

Yuck, no, I'm not giving her my D, I have standards!! She has brown skin, which is never attractive IMO, and she's really ****ing short. I dont know if she's fat - she doesn't LOOK fat, but then again I've never seen her without clothes on (and tbh I don't really want to!!!) She has no boobs as far as I can tell, but then again who knows. She has a disgusting fat arse.

Right.

Reply 15

Feline_Nymphet

2

Original post by lonely-otaku

none of the girls I like are interested in me. :-(

Can't imagine why.

Reply 16

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Original post by Feline_Nymphet

Right.

What the hell is your problem? Men are going to have standards, whether you like it or not. Get over it.

Original post by Feline_Nymphet

Can't imagine why.

It's because I'm a hell of a lot smarter than them. U mad? ;-)

Reply 17

lonely-otaku

OP

1

Original post by schmuur

Considering the circumstances, I don't think K would date you if her friendship with A meant anything, sorry! But to get A off your back, you should ask her for dating advice. Make up a fake girl from your work/sports club/gym that you go to, or from anything you do in your spare time. Tell A how you really like her but you don't know whether she likes you back/your too shy to ask her out. Then go on about her from time to time, and A will understand that you are not interested. It sounds mean but she will start to realise that you are not interested.

Might try this. Thanks!

Reply 18

blacksquad

Original post by lonely-otaku

What the hell is your problem? Men are going to have standards, whether you like it or not. Get over it.

It's because I'm a hell of a lot smarter than them. U mad? ;-)