Bereavement Help and Support

I think so. The only real time I have to think about things is at night, hence that first post being at stupid o'clock
I love my course and it's totally practical based (no exams). I'm set for 'Firsts' in my current modules (i'm in second year) but worried I might mess things up with the next lot. I've applied for mitigation based on my tutors advice but feel thats a bad idea since it may mean i'll be working on these current modules at the same time as the next load starting! Not only putting me behind but making things difficult in terms of talking to uni mates and such. I commute from home too which has been both help and hinderance.

Theres a lot of family politics so organising the funeral is quite a nightmare. Apart from the fact we've had to wait two, going on three weeks to get things moving (consultant only worked nights, coroner only worked days so things have taken a while). Brother is recently married and lives down South, leaving just me and mum. Mum has ups and downs, but I worry when she is on a big down and says things like "I've dealt with a lot of **** in my life but don't think i'll get through this. I just want to pack up, grab dad and
. I know she wouldn't do anything like that, it's just difficult to hear when I know theres nothing I can say that will put it right.

Other than that, going to uni and leaving mum for a few hours is difficult since I feel guilty for having the break and enjoying my work, and worry leaving mum on her own (not because of the above, but more to be there as a shoulder to cry on). Finally my best friend is in her third year at a uni quite a distance away, and has already made a trip to see me. She's coming back this week and staying for the funeral, which i'm hugely grateful for and feel like i'd love to see her every day (again, can't leave mum!) but then I know the third year is the most important and feel like i'm getting in the way of her studies and her own social life (enjoying uni with her mates ect).

Thats about it for now! Thanks for replying, I hope all this isn't too morbid even for a bereavement thread.

Update on my Grandad:

I spoke to my Mum on the phone this morning. She said that Grandad can't have Chemotherapy and he's got 6 sessions of Radiotherapy ahead of him. This means that he won't live the 18 months he was expected to previously, but less. She said that it is now about quality of life, not quantity.

This is very likely going to be his last Christmas...

x

x

How are things going?

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Grandad's gone into a nursing home now - he needs 24hr care. He's also had a fall and an infection... I don't know much else but thanks for asking... I'm okay I guess...

Aww I'm in a similar position, grandad's in hospital after lots of falls and they feared the worst the other night but he's stable at the moment. Meant to be going to see him after Christmas (he lives quite a few hours away) I'm hoping he'll be with us til then at least I might be needing advice from my own thread soon

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That must be terrible to hear so close to Christmas, I'm so sorry! We're here for you.

Hey, I've been opening this thread so many times and forgetting to reply
There's so much going on there's no logical place to start, so I end up closing it all and headed to bed!
Hope everyone is ok

Losing someone close to you at any age is difficult and can be life changing, but if you're still young and going through GCSEs, A Levels, or University, this may impact your life further. It's not a nice subject to talk or even think about, but facing up to it and finding support could be crucial. Whether you've lost someone close to you personally, or are friends with someone who has, being able to find the right help and support can make things that bit easier. If you need urgent help, you may want to contact the Samaritans on: 0845 790 9090.



There are so many emotions which can follow bereavement, and each person is different in how they feel and cope. Some of the emotions are likely to be:

Shock - such a significant event can be difficult to process.
Denial - not accepting it's happened.
Sadness - missing the person special to them.
Anger - wondering why me/them.
Relief - if the loved one had been very ill.
Exhaustion - emotionally and physically, which can lead to a reduced immune system.
Numbness - often the body's coping mechanism.
Guilt - if they hadn't said goodbye or had arguments prior to the death.
Anxiety - worrying another loved one or themselves will be ill or pass away.

All of these emotions are normal and common to a certain extent.

The 5 Stages of Grief:

What to do if you lose someone close to you?

What if I don't get over it?

Strategies that can help you grieve:

What do I do if this happens at an important time? e.g exams

What about Counselling?

What do I say to someone who has lost a loved one?

Need more information?

Do you have any other points or ideas to add? If so, post below

If anyone has been affected by this and wishes to talk more on a one-to-one basis, I'll happily chat via PM

Hey, only just found this thread. How is everyone?

My grandmother died back in April and it still hurts when I think about her

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x

I'm really sorry to hear that do you have any strategies to help you? How are your family doing?

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Family are fine, it's just cause she was the only one in the family that was really on my side that I'm taking it hard. I often just take myself away somewhere and spend some time freestyling (rap) when everything's too much.

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Aww, it sounds like you got on well with her then? What was she like? does freestying help to express emotions about her or do you freestyle about other things as a diffraction?

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How's everyone doing?

I have had better news about grandad, so that's a plus for now

I'm not too bad

Good to hear

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How's the freestyling going? Anything else that helps?