What's he hiding ? PLEASE HELP ME

I'm SO SORRY GUYS THIS IS PRETTY LONG. I know! But IM STRUGGLING AT THE MOMENT.


So, let's start this from Friday, where my boyfriend decided to send me a mini paragraph about how I was a dumb hoe and that I'm worse than my cousins gf ( who's also having relationship problems) and that I'm ungrateful ect because I ran out of his car when he dropped me in the middle of the road to get my bus.. Last minute warning.

After that I was so disturbed , I was really hurt to be compared to someone else . Who he doesn't even know very well.
Moving on, whole of the week he was asking me to come clubbing with him and his friends in central. Yet he wasn't sure himself if he wanted to go.. So I asked him to plan ahead and let me know asap so I don't make plans with my uni friends .
He was very annoyed cause I asked him to do that-
So I said okay leave it I won't come with you. I'll make other plans then..
The night before he asked me to come with him and I said nah I'm not feeling it , you go spend time with your friends . He said no u come with. After I said yeah, he said oh your so funny u say spend time with ur friends but now u wanna come .

I was totally taken back by it ..
So I told him to go on his own then.. Continued arguing and what not but yeah we went separate ways that night .

Moving onto recent events Saturday he was supposed to come over to see me that night after work. He went to his friends bday party which he said he'll on stay there for 20mins MAX. He calls me and says ' oh I'm on my way now ' I asked whether the party was live and he said yeah it is. So I was like okay would u like to stay there then.. He said I do but i wanna come see u too.

Now with all of this happening im getting really upset my heart drops . Cause during freshers week I backed out to go to a club and to spend time with him that evening instead and he couldn't do the same for me ???

Cause I was so excited from the morning onwards ..

he know I'm upset and I told him to just stay there as his heart wouldn't be here . After a while he didn't answer any of my calls or texts I called his girl mate and she gave the phone to him.. I was so stunned he chose to stay there even an hour later .

After that, I was so upset thinking the amount I would do for him. If he wanted me with him I'd be there and he couldn't do the same ?
So he's not answering he's not replying .. Now I'm worried ..
All his friends are telling me he left ages ago.. But guess what, only I happened to be logged into my iPad on his messages and be getting texts from the girl I called at the start who I was asking .HE TOLD HER TO LIE TO ME SAYING HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS ACTUALLY AT THE PARTY . MY HEART SANK .
Honestly I can't explain how i felt, I was absolutely stunned he lied and got others involved to make me look like I was some possessive woman. But I'm not ?
Now after 4 hours of crying he texts me and says look I'm sorry I lied but this isn't the biggest things I need to worry about at the moment . There's other stuff too..
My heart sank even further because I had sent him a 2 min voice recording crying my heart out about what I did to deserve to be lied to. How he thought it was okay to lie to me . And a paragraph along with it to then be relied to like that!?

No, it doesn't work like that. He has told me that there's something up but he doesn't wanna tell me cause no one else knows about it , just him.
& if he tells me he'll lose himself and he can't be with me ?
I said how can u not tell me what's bugging you? We've been together for a year and a half .. And u can't tell me ??? I've told him everything ..

I need advice for real. I ended up having an anxiety attack and I haven't had one for MONTHS . I ended up relapsing that night and I haven't cut for months. I felt so weak.. I'm an idiot I know . I regret doing it so please don't say anything further 😔😔

I'm SO SORRY GUYS THIS IS PRETTY LONG. I know! But IM STRUGGLING AT THE MOMENT.


So, let's start this from Friday, where my boyfriend decided to send me a mini paragraph about how I was a dumb hoe and that I'm worse than my cousins gf ( who's also having relationship problems) and that I'm ungrateful ect because I ran out of his car when he dropped me in the middle of the road to get my bus.. Last minute warning.

After that I was so disturbed , I was really hurt to be compared to someone else . Who he doesn't even know very well.
Moving on, whole of the week he was asking me to come clubbing with him and his friends in central. Yet he wasn't sure himself if he wanted to go.. So I asked him to plan ahead and let me know asap so I don't make plans with my uni friends .
He was very annoyed cause I asked him to do that-
So I said okay leave it I won't come with you. I'll make other plans then..
The night before he asked me to come with him and I said nah I'm not feeling it , you go spend time with your friends . He said no u come with. After I said yeah, he said oh your so funny u say spend time with ur friends but now u wanna come .

I was totally taken back by it ..
So I told him to go on his own then.. Continued arguing and what not but yeah we went separate ways that night .

Moving onto recent events Saturday he was supposed to come over to see me that night after work. He went to his friends bday party which he said he'll on stay there for 20mins MAX. He calls me and says ' oh I'm on my way now ' I asked whether the party was live and he said yeah it is. So I was like okay would u like to stay there then.. He said I do but i wanna come see u too.

Now with all of this happening im getting really upset my heart drops . Cause during freshers week I backed out to go to a club and to spend time with him that evening instead and he couldn't do the same for me ???

Cause I was so excited from the morning onwards ..

he know I'm upset and I told him to just stay there as his heart wouldn't be here . After a while he didn't answer any of my calls or texts I called his girl mate and she gave the phone to him.. I was so stunned he chose to stay there even an hour later .

After that, I was so upset thinking the amount I would do for him. If he wanted me with him I'd be there and he couldn't do the same ?
So he's not answering he's not replying .. Now I'm worried ..
All his friends are telling me he left ages ago.. But guess what, only I happened to be logged into my iPad on his messages and be getting texts from the girl I called at the start who I was asking .HE TOLD HER TO LIE TO ME SAYING HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS ACTUALLY AT THE PARTY . MY HEART SANK .
Honestly I can't explain how i felt, I was absolutely stunned he lied and got others involved to make me look like I was some possessive woman. But I'm not ?
Now after 4 hours of crying he texts me and says look I'm sorry I lied but this isn't the biggest things I need to worry about at the moment . There's other stuff too..
My heart sank even further because I had sent him a 2 min voice recording crying my heart out about what I did to deserve to be lied to. How he thought it was okay to lie to me . And a paragraph along with it to then be relied to like that!?

No, it doesn't work like that. He has told me that there's something up but he doesn't wanna tell me cause no one else knows about it , just him.
& if he tells me he'll lose himself and he can't be with me ?
I said how can u not tell me what's bugging you? We've been together for a year and a half .. And u can't tell me ??? I've told him everything ..

I need advice for real. I ended up having an anxiety attack and I haven't had one for MONTHS . I ended up relapsing that night and I haven't cut for months. I felt so weak.. I'm an idiot I know . I regret doing it so please don't say anything further 😔😔

I would dump him, no one deserves verbal abuse like that.

I'm SO SORRY GUYS THIS IS PRETTY LONG. I know! But IM STRUGGLING AT THE MOMENT.


So, let's start this from Friday, where my boyfriend decided to send me a mini paragraph about how I was a dumb hoe and that I'm worse than my cousins gf ( who's also having relationship problems) and that I'm ungrateful ect because I ran out of his car when he dropped me in the middle of the road to get my bus.. Last minute warning.

After that I was so disturbed , I was really hurt to be compared to someone else . Who he doesn't even know very well.
Moving on, whole of the week he was asking me to come clubbing with him and his friends in central. Yet he wasn't sure himself if he wanted to go.. So I asked him to plan ahead and let me know asap so I don't make plans with my uni friends .
He was very annoyed cause I asked him to do that-
So I said okay leave it I won't come with you. I'll make other plans then..
The night before he asked me to come with him and I said nah I'm not feeling it , you go spend time with your friends . He said no u come with. After I said yeah, he said oh your so funny u say spend time with ur friends but now u wanna come .

I was totally taken back by it ..
So I told him to go on his own then.. Continued arguing and what not but yeah we went separate ways that night .

Moving onto recent events Saturday he was supposed to come over to see me that night after work. He went to his friends bday party which he said he'll on stay there for 20mins MAX. He calls me and says ' oh I'm on my way now ' I asked whether the party was live and he said yeah it is. So I was like okay would u like to stay there then.. He said I do but i wanna come see u too.

Now with all of this happening im getting really upset my heart drops . Cause during freshers week I backed out to go to a club and to spend time with him that evening instead and he couldn't do the same for me ???

Cause I was so excited from the morning onwards ..

he know I'm upset and I told him to just stay there as his heart wouldn't be here . After a while he didn't answer any of my calls or texts I called his girl mate and she gave the phone to him.. I was so stunned he chose to stay there even an hour later .

After that, I was so upset thinking the amount I would do for him. If he wanted me with him I'd be there and he couldn't do the same ?
So he's not answering he's not replying .. Now I'm worried ..
All his friends are telling me he left ages ago.. But guess what, only I happened to be logged into my iPad on his messages and be getting texts from the girl I called at the start who I was asking .HE TOLD HER TO LIE TO ME SAYING HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS ACTUALLY AT THE PARTY . MY HEART SANK .
Honestly I can't explain how i felt, I was absolutely stunned he lied and got others involved to make me look like I was some possessive woman. But I'm not ?
Now after 4 hours of crying he texts me and says look I'm sorry I lied but this isn't the biggest things I need to worry about at the moment . There's other stuff too..
My heart sank even further because I had sent him a 2 min voice recording crying my heart out about what I did to deserve to be lied to. How he thought it was okay to lie to me . And a paragraph along with it to then be relied to like that!?

No, it doesn't work like that. He has told me that there's something up but he doesn't wanna tell me cause no one else knows about it , just him.
& if he tells me he'll lose himself and he can't be with me ?
I said how can u not tell me what's bugging you? We've been together for a year and a half .. And u can't tell me ??? I've told him everything ..

I need advice for real. I ended up having an anxiety attack and I haven't had one for MONTHS . I ended up relapsing that night and I haven't cut for months. I felt so weak.. I'm an idiot I know . I regret doing it so please don't say anything further 😔😔

I agree.

Cut to the core of the matter - it doesn't matter what he is or isn't 'hiding', no one here can help you with that. But the core of the issue is this guy is deceitful and disrespectful towards you.

Cut him out of your life would be my advice. The world is full of decent men who make life fun, not stressful. Life's too short to waste with crappy boyfriends.

PS. Have you just started uni? Starting uni is notorious for breaking up existing relationships.

Hope you're feeling better, anxiety attacks suck.

So, let's start this from Friday, where my boyfriend decided to send me a mini paragraph about how I was a dumb hoe and that I'm worse than my cousins gf

GURRRRRLLL YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. Don't even bother giving him the satisfaction of asking what he is hiding again and again... I'd just walk! I know that is so hard but he is making you feel so bad about yourself and that is not right. He is meant to be the person who makes you feel good, and happy, and safe. He shouldn't be making you self harm! Leave the dick and focus on YOU for a while. Strong independent women!! You are much better than you think and you may think you need this guy, but you don;t need anybody in your life who is gonna make you feel any less than amazing. You can do it girl! Ditch the dick and focus on the chick - you!