Having a child to trap myself in a relationship

consider the following

-hopelessly in love with a girl
-girl is even more hopelessly in love
-you still are having commitment issues, idea of not being able to sex anyone else, being uncomfortable with girls past etc etc
-girl would birth a kid for you anytime and would care and love it and you forever
-to banish commitment fears you make this baby with cus then you HAVE to stay with her
= peace forever

is this sensible?

Reply 1

Katty3

16

Original post by Anonymous

consider the following

-hopelessly in love with a girl
-girl is even more hopelessly in love
-you still are having commitment issues, idea of not being able to sex anyone else, being uncomfortable with girls past etc etc
-girl would birth a kid for you anytime and would care and love it and you forever
-to banish commitment fears you make this baby with cus then you HAVE to stay with her
= peace forever

is this sensible?

No. Not sensible. I understand the logic, but it is flawed. Many couples break up following the birth of a child.

If you really want to commit to the girl, why don't you marry her?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Hell nooooooooooo!

Original post by Anonymous

consider the following

-hopelessly in love with a girl
-girl is even more hopelessly in love
-you still are having commitment issues, idea of not being able to sex anyone else, being uncomfortable with girls past etc etc
-girl would birth a kid for you anytime and would care and love it and you forever
-to banish commitment fears you make this baby with cus then you HAVE to stay with her
= peace forever

is this sensible?

This is a terrible idea; have you considered how much responsibility it is to bring a new life into the world? Not to mention the cost, time and effort involved in bringing up a child to be a responsible, fully functioning member of society?

Having a child would highlight any relationship issues already existing and put a lot more strain on the relationship therefore increasing the chance of break up

Just get married as someone already mentioned on here.

Please, please, please do not have a child for such a silly reason. It's not fair on the child

Reply 4

Goaded

17

My brother got his girlfriend pregnant at 15, gave birth at 16. They stayed together purely for the child (they're now married) - I've never seen an unhappier couple. If it wasn't for their son, 100% they would've split up.

Reply 5

RainbowKiwi

16

Don't be silly. How is that even remotely a good idea? :/ A child is a huge responsibility, not somethin u use to sort out ur commitment issues smh. It would make u more miserable in the long run.

Reply 6

miser

20

A baby won't solve your commitment issues, it will probably just make everything worse.

Reply 7

kite29

6

Original post by Anonymous

consider the following

-hopelessly in love with a girl
-girl is even more hopelessly in love
-you still are having commitment issues, idea of not being able to sex anyone else, being uncomfortable with girls past etc etc
-girl would birth a kid for you anytime and would care and love it and you forever
-to banish commitment fears you make this baby with cus then you HAVE to stay with her
= peace forever

is this sensible?

A child wouldn't knowingly want to take birth from parents who have commitment issues. It's not just giving birth to a child but also raising him/her as best possible and it's a huge responsibility, certainly greater than learning to be committed

Reply 8

kka25

18

Original post by Goaded

My brother got his girlfriend pregnant at 15, gave birth at 16. They stayed together purely for the child (they're now married) - I've never seen an unhappier couple. If it wasn't for their son, 100% they would've split up.

What sort of fights/arguments do they have normally?

Reply 9

Goaded

17

Original post by kka25

What sort of fights/arguments do they have normally?

Anything and everything! Although they don't fight so much anymore. They've learnt to tolerate. Plus, my brother joined the army to support them, and they've moved to Germany... their lifestyle is 1000000x better now lmao so that helps but theres little to no love tbh

Reply 10

Explorerthumb

4

My mum only had me just so that she could stay with my dad, but the plan clearly failed. :sadnod:

Reply 11

Nerol

21

If you need to question whether or not this is a bad idea, I don't think you should be in a relationship with anyone.

Reply 12

Tiger Rag

22

You should have a child because you want one. Not in some hope it'll help the relationship.

Reply 13

ForeignStudent34

1

Original post by Goaded

Anything and everything! Although they don't fight so much anymore. They've learnt to tolerate. Plus, my brother joined the army to support them, and they've moved to Germany... their lifestyle is 1000000x better now lmao so that helps but theres little to no love tbh

well, a lot of couples have little to no love. but they dont divorce because it has been like ten or twenty years. Even tho you might not love your partner anymore, people usually wont divorce until they hate them which would rarely be true after so many years and as you said they learnt to tolerate.

Reply 14

Hopple

18

You would be making the baby to be primarily an obligation, which is a terrible attitude to have towards your child.

Reply 15

kantdothis

6

You're an idiot if you think this is might be a sensible thing to do.

A child is for life, not just for Christmas.

Don't burden it with having an idiotic father that had it to trap it's mother in a crappy relationship.

Get married instead

I'm not so much on one side or the other here. You have to acknowledge the massive responsibiity, however if you limit to one you could cope, and it does give a relationship a sense of resolution or direction surely. It's basically why we are here.

Reply 18

CCC75

16

Original post by Anonymous

consider the following

-hopelessly in love with a girl
-girl is even more hopelessly in love
-you still are having commitment issues, idea of not being able to sex anyone else, being uncomfortable with girls past etc etc
-girl would birth a kid for you anytime and would care and love it and you forever
-to banish commitment fears you make this baby with cus then you HAVE to stay with her
= peace forever

is this sensible?

Please do not do this. It is the furthest from sensible that you can reach. The level of warped reasoning in your OP leads me to believe that you would present a danger to any offspring at this time in your life. Just don't!

Reply 19

phunky_fresh

14

Why not find a new girlfriend? You don't have to stick with this one. Or just break up and have lots of protected sex with someone else if that's an issue. Being in a relationship shouldn't feel like you're in prison. Having a child together won't solve anything, she could end to leaving you anyway. It isn't very nice for the child either.

Having a child to trap myself in a relationship

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