Dating a PhD student/Teaching Fellow at University

So I belong to a Ballroom and Latin Dance club at my university and through this I met a guy who I thought seemed really nice. He's a current PhD student with I think about 2 years left to go on this. I am about to go into the last year of my BA.

We have danced together a lot in practice and outside in social dancing and had the occasional lunch after practice together. We however will probably be not competing together as a couple this year.

So over the summer we have been out dancing together and one night he admitted to me that he has liked me for a very long time and kissed me. We have since then had 2 dates and message each other when we can. He is currently away in New York but I don't know how long for. We will also be working together as part of the committee this year.

I am wondering however if he just sees this as a short term thing like a summer fling. I like the guy but really am interested more in a long term relationship. Why would he have waited so long to tell me that he liked me? I don't want my feelings for him (that could potentially be crushed) to ruin our working relationship this year. I am trying not to message him so as not to come off clingy but he sometimes goes days without messaging me.

So what do people think? Constructive comments only please! Hoping I haven't come across as immature :/

Reply 1

claireestelle

22

Original post by Anonymous

So I belong to a Ballroom and Latin Dance club at my university and through this I met a guy who I thought seemed really nice. He's a current PhD student with I think about 2 years left to go on this. I am about to go into the last year of my BA.

We have danced together a lot in practice and outside in social dancing and had the occasional lunch after practice together. We however will probably be not competing together as a couple this year.

So over the summer we have been out dancing together and one night he admitted to me that he has liked me for a very long time and kissed me. We have since then had 2 dates and message each other when we can. He is currently away in New York but I don't know how long for. We will also be working together as part of the committee this year.

I am wondering however if he just sees this as a short term thing like a summer fling. I like the guy but really am interested more in a long term relationship. Why would he have waited so long to tell me that he liked me? I don't want my feelings for him (that could potentially be crushed) to ruin our working relationship this year. I am trying not to message him so as not to come off clingy but he sometimes goes days without messaging me.

So what do people think? Constructive comments only please! Hoping I haven't come across as immature :/

Maybe he was worried about crossing the line with you both about to work together, it depends whether you both agree to keep work and personal separate or not, otherwise maybe wait till you dont work together to do anything serious and stay friends in the mean time.

Reply 2

Hopefully1

12

It seems to me that there is no way to know just now. It is a very good sign that you are both actively involved in the same society. You obviously are interested in the same thing. He told you that he liked you (he didn't have to add that detail) if he was interested in a short term fling. For now enjoy messaging him and hopefully he is responding in a timely manner. You know you will see him in the fall so be patient for now. When he returns, if you are still keen, see how it goes....be casual but open minded. Don't start off over-thinking things. If he's interested he'll definitely let you know he wants to go out again. Keep it casual for a few dates and when the opportunity presents itself have the talk with him to find out where he thinks. Let him know you're looking for a committed relationship and he'll tell you what he wants as well..... I'm guessing (just my gut feeling) he'll feel the same way. Good luck.