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I want to casually" fool around" but not have actual sex : will guys at uni mind ?

Hi ! So long story short, I'm a virgin, as in I've never had actual sex, but I've done pretty much everything else. I don't want to have sex because I was in a relationship where I was kinda abused and it was bordering sexual assault I think, and also I cant take the pill for medical reasons so I'd never want to have sex right now by fear of getting pregnant while I'm at uni. But a girl got needs lol and I wouldn't mind doing stuff with guys, but keeping it casual, I don't want a relationship out of it. So my question is would guys at uni refuse doing stuff but not having actual sex ? Kind of like friends with benefits but without the ultimate benefit lol.

Also, please don't judge me or give me mean replies because that's hard for me to even mention my abusive relationship online, let alone in real life.

Reply 1

Zarek

I think this will be alright if you manage expectations before clothes come off. Might be worth getting a bit of support for the impact of the abuse too.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I think this will be alright if you manage expectations before clothes come off. Might be worth getting a bit of support for the impact of the abuse too.

Hi, I talked about the emotional abuse part to my friends and it helped kind of, but I'd be too embarrassed to talk about the sexual part honestly.
Also, wouldn't it be awkward to tell to a guy straight up " Just so you know we won't have sex ?" Like I know where I come from guys would be annoyed to hear that or they would pretend like they weren't looking to have sex anyway, kind of like their feelings were hurt, lol.

Reply 3

Findlay6

"Hey, i'm not interested in intercourse, but I'm down for everything else"

If they're decent, they will respect that. If it's only a casual thing, they can find someone else for penetration.

You'd still need to be regularly STD tested though, and condoms are a good solution to non-hormonal contraception.

Reply 4

unprinted

Original post by Anonymous

Also, wouldn't it be awkward to tell to a guy straight up " Just so you know we won't have sex ?" Like I know where I come from guys would be annoyed to hear that or they would pretend like they weren't looking to have sex anyway, kind of like their feelings were hurt, lol.

A better way of phrasing it would be something like 'I want to go down on you / w-word you off and you to (whatever) me, but I don't want to f-word'.

If they argue, they're not a good person to do stuff with.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I did this. Had guys in my bed all the time, only had sex 3 times in 3 years throughout my university life. Hey as long as they are getting some kind of action i highly doubt they will get up and leave haha