Confused...

Okay, so I have a weird situation at the moment. I am female,19, and I work full time with a guy who’s in his late 20s. Basically he is in a relationship and I believe is engaged to someone else, however he seems to express a lot of interest in me - we’re good friends because we naturally get along well and we have some similar interests, but a while ago I started to get suspicious that he fancied me and recently I think my suspicions have been confirmed. We would text sometimes, having completely innocent conversations about anything, but then he’d slip something in that gave me reason to believe he liked me, eg. he’d call me beautiful or compliment me or something. Not too long ago he told me I was “hot”, and when we’re together in person he seems to find reasons to touch me, not in a weird way but in a normal way like touching my arm or brushing something off me, but it seems to happen a lot. He seldom mentions his girlfriend and he will often ask about my sex life. At the moment none of it makes me feel directly uncomfortable even though I’m pretty sure he fancies me, it’s the fact that he is engaged that worries me, basically I want to know what others think about this - is this behaviour normal or acceptable for someone who is meant to be in a committed relationship or should I be worried that he’ll act more upon his feelings for me? Nothing directly sexual has actually happened yet, we just talk a lot and in our convos it feels like a lot of the time he’s gently flirting with me. At the very least, he does really like me as a person which is nice. Anyway, does anyone have any opinions? Also, am I in the wrong? I don’t encourage his full on flirting but I don’t discourage it and I will sometimes reciprocate, ie. accept a compliment. At this stage I don’t want to say anything as it would spoil our friendship one way or another. FYI I am very attracted to him as a person, perhaps less so physically but there is some physical attraction there. Thanks and sorry for the essay!

Reply 1

Kevin De Bruyne

Sounds dodgy to be honest. You aren't really in the wrong just for accepting a compliment but as it is making you feel directly uncomfortable, perhaps it is time to call it a day, even if you don't really want to lose the 'friendship'.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by SeanFM

Thanks for the advice, I needed an outsider to confirm that I'm not overreacting! Yeah I think if it ever gets any further I will say something but for now i'll see what happens, hopefully nothing. Would be a shame to ruin it if he never actually does act on it.