Hi there, I have received 3/4 rejections (Exeter, Edi, Cardiff) but still waiting to hear from St Andrews. I thought I had decent stats and PS with 45/45 predicted IB score, 2730 B2 UCAT, but I guess I was wrong. I honestly don't think I really want to study medicine anymore, if I can put in so much work already and still feel like a failure while all my other friends are getting offers and interviews for medicine and other courses. It's making me think that I didn't go into medicine for the right reasons, I feel that I went in to validate myself and try and achieve something I could be proud of, and because of the job security medicine has.
But I'm constantly second-guessing myself because medicine does really really fascinate me, but I genuinely don't know now if I can deal with the stress or length of medical school and subsequent training. I also haven't been able to get any real-life work experience because where I live medical placements are banned bc of COVID (still have UK status tho), so I feel unprepared to understand what I'm getting myself into. I'm contemplating St Andrews to ask to change my application to a different course, regardless if I receive an offer to interview. But I honestly might feel motivated again to study it if I do get an offer, but maybe that's a sign that I'm fickle and, yes, I am just doing it because I am deeply insecure and studying medicine will validate me, in which case I probably shouldn't because my commitment isn't genuine. I have no idea what to do and I think about this constantly, I don't know if I should take a gap year and try and reapply.