Competition - post a photo you've taken of nature >>

Overcoming my dread of driving lessons

Hey guys.

I'm 28, and have just started taking driving lessons. The school offers a "package deal", which requires a minimum level of skill, which I've completed 8 extra lessons to achieve.

I'm locked in to a schedule with my driving instructor for the next two months, and will have my driving test early March.

The problem is, I'm really not gel-ing with my instructor. I'm a sensitive, introverted guy, very anxious and hard on myself. He's a competent driver, but not as competent a teacher. I've made enormous progress in just 8 lessons (from never having sat behind the wheel), but when I make mistakes he seems to think the proper course of action is to pretty much yell, sound upset and even mean. He doesn't seem to understand that it only makes me more anxious, and less focused on the actual driving.

I know I should have come to this conclusion earlier, and probably changed instructor. The problem was that the "package deal" was only available until December 31st, so I had to pay before then, and then finish get all the lessons contained in the package done by March. If I back out now I'll lose all my cash, so I'm pretty much locked in.

I guess I just wanted a little support. While I guess I COULD technically just put my foot down and demand to get another teacher, part of me feels like that would be a little like giving up. I feel like I want to stand up for myself, to speak my truth. I wish I could get to a place where I just block out all of his comments, and just stay focused on correcting what mistake I made, and focusing on the actual driving. Instead of getting anxiety over the fact that he's unhappy with me/mad at me, that I'm less of a human being, that I'm worthless etc. which is the usual place I tend to go. I lay the blame on myself, instead of laying the blame on him: to be honest he really is an f-ing BAD teacher. The next time he yells at me I feel like I should just tell him straight up: "You're not making it better by yelling. I know I made a mistake, I will try to do better next time. You're just making me stressed" instead of laying down flat like a wet towel.

Reply 1

Justmac

It is possible that the instructor doesn't know they are making you feel this way. Explaining it to them would be the best thing to do, if they still don't change then you could try and change instructors through the company.

When I was doing my lessons I used to feel super anxious but my instructor wasn't aware of this because I masked it really well. In the end I had to explain it and he adjusted his teaching style accordingly.

Reply 2

Don L Gates

If you are with a school which uses a number of instructors then you must approach them and let them know what is going on. An ADI should NOT be raising their voice in a way which makes you feel uncomfortable. Their job is to encourage and give confidence to nervous pupils and to be patient when things are going wrong.

I would question whether you are 'locked in' to this agreement, as any goods sold (including driving lessons) have to be fit for purpose. Try contacting the citizens advice bureau for legal advice.

Reply 3

jon duff

Any reputable school (eg: www.yellodrivingschool.co.uk) will always refund the costs of lessons not taken. Given what you say, you should approach the school, explain your issue, and seek a refund so you can find a Instructor you feel more comfortable with. Simple.

Reply 4

sad_cap

Hey all! I just wanted to say thanks for your support and encouragement. I explained how I felt to my instructor and gave him a few more lessons to see if things got better, which they didn't. I ended up contacting the driving school and explaining that it wasn't working out and that I'd like to change instructors if possible. They were very understanding and didn't question me at all. I had 18/22 lessons left with my old teacher, but they even gave me a refund so that I got 4 lessons "back", and will start at 22/22 with an entirely new teacher in a different part of the city, who's supposedly very calm, patient, and friendly. All is end that ends well, and thanks again!