The Student Room Group

Does this person think that I will 'struggle in the real world'?

Do you think the person who said the advice (below) to me is a friend? What do they mean by 'struggle in the real world'? Do they think I will?



"Hey, _____ is great exams start on the 17th so stress levels are at a reasonable high of course.Had any exams yet yourself? 
Fear of failure is also what drives me but also the fear of letting people down.You just have to take a step back.Back in November we had a quantum mechanics exam. Through the whole of the semester I just struggled and no matter who tried to help or what I did I just couldn't do it. When it came to revision I spent so much time on that I knew I was neglecting the others. But then I took a step back and realised it was only worth a fifth of a whole module so I scraped a pass but aced the others.
Its a tough question mate as everyone is different. I don't think ive ever let the fear win so to speak.I've always had sport to let out stress.I've been at the same low points as you where I just feel I cant do it anymore or im not smart enough. But everybody has. You just have to realise its not the end of the world.
How do I deal with it? Another tough one. Usually its through a bit of self belief. Giving myself a shake and saying it can be done. Bit of a crap thing but it has to be done otherwise you'll never get out of it.The important thing is to not shut yourself off from the world.you'd think my first port if call would be family but its actually Mr ____ and my course mates.as none of my family have been to uni they don't understand. But ____ does. He usually puts things into perspective or gives me ideas of what to do.Also my course mates are usually having similar thoughts and uts good to talk about it. For instance this week we've been meeting to go through papers and its just good to talk it out. Another lame one i know but it works.
The perfectionist battle is I going but in reality nobody is perfect.Socialising is great so don't pull back. It all well and good doing well in exams but we are all working towards getting a job and if you don't have good communication, teamwork or a personality then you'll struggle in the real world. Thats what uni is for.
Coping strategies. If there is one thing you need to know. You cant learn everything from a book, website, article or YouTube.
So i guess to conclude, id have to say you have to find the best coping method for you.Experiment. Whether it is taking a step back and realising how much something is actually worth; letting off steam from sport; or just talking to someone who has been through it. Its all relative.There is no magic fix. We will probably have to deal with fear of failure for the rest if our lives.have you thought about any teachers back at school you got on well with or close friends.
Im always available if you just want to rant. Thats what i usually need, a good rant and sometimes a cry. Don't bottle it.
If i think of anything else ill let you know. But dont hesitate to message me or text. 077********"
Reply 1
Someone I went to school with gave me the following advice about settling in at uni. Do you think they are a friend, and is this good advice. What do they mean by 'struggle in the real world'? Does this message suggest that they think I will?
Reply 2
??????
Reply 3
Original post by Sam381
Do you think the person who said the advice (below) to me is a friend? What do they mean by 'struggle in the real world'? Do they think I will?



"Hey, _____ is great exams start on the 17th so stress levels are at a reasonable high of course.Had any exams yet yourself? 
Fear of failure is also what drives me but also the fear of letting people down.You just have to take a step back.Back in November we had a quantum mechanics exam. Through the whole of the semester I just struggled and no matter who tried to help or what I did I just couldn't do it. When it came to revision I spent so much time on that I knew I was neglecting the others. But then I took a step back and realised it was only worth a fifth of a whole module so I scraped a pass but aced the others.
Its a tough question mate as everyone is different. I don't think ive ever let the fear win so to speak.I've always had sport to let out stress.I've been at the same low points as you where I just feel I cant do it anymore or im not smart enough. But everybody has. You just have to realise its not the end of the world.
How do I deal with it? Another tough one. Usually its through a bit of self belief. Giving myself a shake and saying it can be done. Bit of a crap thing but it has to be done otherwise you'll never get out of it.The important thing is to not shut yourself off from the world.you'd think my first port if call would be family but its actually Mr ____ and my course mates.as none of my family have been to uni they don't understand. But ____ does. He usually puts things into perspective or gives me ideas of what to do.Also my course mates are usually having similar thoughts and uts good to talk about it. For instance this week we've been meeting to go through papers and its just good to talk it out. Another lame one i know but it works.
The perfectionist battle is I going but in reality nobody is perfect.Socialising is great so don't pull back. It all well and good doing well in exams but we are all working towards getting a job and if you don't have good communication, teamwork or a personality then you'll struggle in the real world. Thats what uni is for.
Coping strategies. If there is one thing you need to know. You cant learn everything from a book, website, article or YouTube.
So i guess to conclude, id have to say you have to find the best coping method for you.Experiment. Whether it is taking a step back and realising how much something is actually worth; letting off steam from sport; or just talking to someone who has been through it. Its all relative.There is no magic fix. We will probably have to deal with fear of failure for the rest if our lives.have you thought about any teachers back at school you got on well with or close friends.
Im always available if you just want to rant. Thats what i usually need, a good rant and sometimes a cry. Don't bottle it.
If i think of anything else ill let you know. But dont hesitate to message me or text. 077********"

Yes[they are a friend]what do you want them to say?
Reply 4
Original post by Scotney
Yes[they are a friend]what do you want them to say?

What do you think they meant by 'struggle in the real world'? Sorry, but I have Aspergers and it impacts my ability to understand meaning sometimes.
They've given pretty good advice, in terms of it is about learning how to cope. I guess he's reflecting on his own experience, mistakes and giving you a heads up, not sugar coating everything? Whether he is a friend or not, that's up to you. By "struggle in the real world" he meant it as he said that being an all rounder is more important in his opinion than being a pure academic?
"Socialising is great so don't pull back. It all well and good doing well in exams but we are all working towards getting a job and if you don't have good communication, teamwork or a personality then you'll struggle in the real world."
Reply 6
Do you think they think that I am going to 'struggle in the real world'? (What do they even mean by 'struggle in the real world' anyway?)
Reply 7
Original post by Sam381
What do you think they meant by 'struggle in the real world'? Sorry, but I have Aspergers and it impacts my ability to understand meaning sometimes.

He was making a general statement about 'struggle in the real world'it was not aimed at you in particular.
Reply 8
Original post by Scotney
He was making a general statement about 'struggle in the real world'it was not aimed at you in particular.

Ah, I see. What does 'struggle in the real world' mean anyway?
Reply 9
Original post by Scotney
He was making a general statement about 'struggle in the real world'it was not aimed at you in particular.

It means when you come out of uni life continues to throw challenges in people's way and uni is a safer place to make mistakes as it will not cost you your job.Do not get caught up in this phrase it is commonly used.

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