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my older sister thinks I am copying her. when im not.

let me state some of the instances

1. I was planning on going vegan for a while. she went vegan first. once I started to implement a vegan diet she literally accused me of copying her. and so i kind of stopped being vegan
2. I was planning to buy a clothing steamer after watching some clothing care videos... i was going to buy one once I received my next pay ... she got one first and then once I got my own one she said I copied her.
3. I was planning to change my daily routine and set up a morning routine (after watching some productivity YouTubers) - waking up earlier, workout etc. my sister has already had a morning routine for a while and i prevented my self from progressing and developing a morning routine in fear of her accusing me of CoPyiNG her.
4. my sister had just finished her Invisalign treatment and I knew that she got some teeth whitening done afterwards (I knew due to the drastic change in the whiteness of her teeth.) she denied getting it done (probably thinking that I would also get it done since "i like to cOpY her so much"

it has gotten to the point that i cant really live for myself anymore. if i happen to want to do something and she does it before me i would always get this constant period of overthinking. it stops me from progressing in life. Its like i am paralysed with worrying about what she would say about what i do.

has anyone had an experience similar to this and HOW DO I STOP CARING WHAT SHE SAYS.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Why would it stop you from progressing? She is clearly insecure to a point where she feels like she needs to assert herself as being ‘unique’, so if anyone does something similar to her she wants to defend herself so she can keep feeling ‘special’.

If she accuses you of copying, just tell her to stop being so self centred.

If you let people get you down to the point where you stop doing things for yourself, you’ll never be happy.

Do what you want, you literally won’t even care about this issue in a months time.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

this literally made me cry. I actually care too much about what others think. I need to carry on with MY life and live it the way I WANT. thank you so much

Reply 3

Sayori.chr

I have had similar experience with things like gender identity, sexual orientation, cosplay, anime, interests, style, music taste. I just try to explain to her that we're allowed to like the same things. If she still doesn't listen, like my sister, then just ignore her. She'll get over herself soon enough

Reply 4

Athy_Obelia

everyone copies someone at somewhere in their life.
Afterall, how can anyone learn anything without copying?
I'm sure your sister copied someone's idea of becoming vegan or getting a clothes steamer - it obviously isn't her idea originally.

I think not caring about it will eventually stop her from saying all those things.
Next time she says that you've copied her, tell her 'I don't care' and just end the whole topic.
She'll eventually stop once she sees no point in pointing it out.

Reply 5

IronWoman2002

As an older sister I would say this to my younger sister, a lot, but then I realised she just looks up to me lol. I feel bad that she doesn't realise this though, and honestly she doesn't own what she does, she wasn't the first person in the world to do this, and I would say continue to do whatever you want to do. Just like people above, don't stop yourself doing what you want to do, because she always says you copy her, remind her she never invented whatever thing she did "first"

Reply 6

revrtallz

My sister does this same thing, except she takes it way too far. my family has a run of mentally illnesses, my dad has a few, my mom has depression, my grandma has depression, and so on. Everytime she yells at me or something, she says "BRAT" and I always end up out of control and start screaming/trying to attack her, and she says "That's so messed up, you wanna be me so bad that you pretend to be mentally ill" and I don't know how to respond, because its not the same as an ice cream flavor..

Reply 7

maria123_4

My sister does this often and it gets on my nerves a lot. For example, she wanted to get new headphones, but I was also thinking about this in my head without announcing it to my mother to buy them for me. When she told our mother to buy them.. after a week I had told my father if he could get me headphones (another brand)and agreed to take them for me. So it all starts with my sister's anger and her thinking that 'm

Reply 8

bmgyurr

my little sister (10 yrs old) does the EXACT same, even for the littlest of things such as saying the same “words” as her. For example once i sat down on the couch i said ugh randomly, and she immediately accused me of copying her because she does it too and gets mad. At first when i was younger i would stop “copying her” just so i wouldnt get accused but as i turned 14 i realised that even IF i “copied” her she cant really do anything, at all, and if she does, whats it gonna be? Now i do whatever i want, and if she gets mad its her problem, not mine. Even if she gets super mad, she cant just get me into trouble for “copying her” because it sounds absolutely ridiculous to say “shes copying me when i did it first”. Its stupid and childish to think that everything revolves around you, when it doesnt. Your sister is NOT the first vegan, and NOT the first one to have a morning routine, or ANYTHING. Even though im very young (still 14) im not going to let a brat control what i do with my life. Good luck to you!!