Had a multiple fight with my older sister(30)
My older sister always states that if she was in my place she could have done so many thing …I’m 20 and has just started uni. She says she had a hard life but I had an amazing life. I don’t remember my childhood times that much as my sister did. She always complains that I was loved by everyone and had a peaceful life with no problems. She always get in trouble because of me, which I don’t even remember. We have stayed apart for 12 years because she stayed in hostel for study reason and our contact was cut off. And, now we r back tg.
Moreover I didn’t stay with my parents cuz they move abroad and I had started living with them from 2015.
In every fights she has new word to describe my personality and behaviours.
I am cry baby after I fight with her cuz I cry in the toilet.
I am manipulative if I tell my mother about these fights.
I am selfish, think about myself and I don’t say sorry.
I am prideful cuz I say it’s my money. I say it’s my money cuz I earned it ….I started working when I was 17 which is not a big thing for others but I don’t have to ask money from my parents cuz I knew we had some money problems. But my sister thinks I was being selfish. Sometimes I just wanna tell her that we don’t know each other that much as u think cuz in my critical time of growing up… u were not there.
So how how can u judge me when u have just come back and know me for only 1 and half years.
I would say these few lines to her but I don’t cuz she is older and I should respect her and if I don’t I am being rude to her:
How can u call me lazy when u haven’t seen what I have done.
When I do some work in the house or outside u r not even their. So how……These small work many not be thing for u but for me it was a lot.
How can u judge me by saying I always lay on my bed and do nothing.
I always wake up at 10 dot if I had a holiday …I clean my bed and I cook myself a food. I clean the living room and I wash the dishes nd do laundry . Sometimes or often I had to change our bedsheets. For my older sister these may be tiny work but for me it’s a lot. U r also lazy but I never u lie on bed from morning to evening.
I had an expectation for my older sister when I meet her that she was gonna be my big sister.
We r gonna talk about all these things.
We r gonna visit so many places.
But these expectation were broken cuz she acts like a child… I wanted a sister who can take care of me not being taken cared by me.
Now I am afraid to even tell these things (fight
S) to my mother cuz I will be judged by my sister.
I have so many things to tell u sister but I can’t tell u cuz whenever I try to points with her she doesn’t even give me time to speak. I know I have some faults with me too but pls sister don’t be so negative towards me, don’t judge me with these words, don’t compare our lives cuz we are born in different times. But I know that I will not tell these things to my sister. So I m sharing here cuz I just wanna tell someone about my opinion and experience that I had and I can’t share with my mum cuz she will worry about it and I don’t wanna cause trouble so my reader…some of the words r confusing., or maybe I am trying to explain myself or I m just too tired and wanna share my problems cuz now I don’t have anyone to share these things. Quite alone I guess.
Thanks for reading !!!
Moreover I didn’t stay with my parents cuz they move abroad and I had started living with them from 2015.
In every fights she has new word to describe my personality and behaviours.
I am cry baby after I fight with her cuz I cry in the toilet.
I am manipulative if I tell my mother about these fights.
I am selfish, think about myself and I don’t say sorry.
I am prideful cuz I say it’s my money. I say it’s my money cuz I earned it ….I started working when I was 17 which is not a big thing for others but I don’t have to ask money from my parents cuz I knew we had some money problems. But my sister thinks I was being selfish. Sometimes I just wanna tell her that we don’t know each other that much as u think cuz in my critical time of growing up… u were not there.
So how how can u judge me when u have just come back and know me for only 1 and half years.
I would say these few lines to her but I don’t cuz she is older and I should respect her and if I don’t I am being rude to her:
How can u call me lazy when u haven’t seen what I have done.
When I do some work in the house or outside u r not even their. So how……These small work many not be thing for u but for me it was a lot.
How can u judge me by saying I always lay on my bed and do nothing.
I always wake up at 10 dot if I had a holiday …I clean my bed and I cook myself a food. I clean the living room and I wash the dishes nd do laundry . Sometimes or often I had to change our bedsheets. For my older sister these may be tiny work but for me it’s a lot. U r also lazy but I never u lie on bed from morning to evening.
I had an expectation for my older sister when I meet her that she was gonna be my big sister.
We r gonna talk about all these things.
We r gonna visit so many places.
But these expectation were broken cuz she acts like a child… I wanted a sister who can take care of me not being taken cared by me.
Now I am afraid to even tell these things (fight
S) to my mother cuz I will be judged by my sister.
I have so many things to tell u sister but I can’t tell u cuz whenever I try to points with her she doesn’t even give me time to speak. I know I have some faults with me too but pls sister don’t be so negative towards me, don’t judge me with these words, don’t compare our lives cuz we are born in different times. But I know that I will not tell these things to my sister. So I m sharing here cuz I just wanna tell someone about my opinion and experience that I had and I can’t share with my mum cuz she will worry about it and I don’t wanna cause trouble so my reader…some of the words r confusing., or maybe I am trying to explain myself or I m just too tired and wanna share my problems cuz now I don’t have anyone to share these things. Quite alone I guess.
Thanks for reading !!!
Thanks for sharing, appreciate it can’t always be easy. However, the best suggestion and most helpful for all involved would be to do that one thing you’ve already picked up on, which is to Talk to her!!!
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
Original post by souljav
Thanks for sharing, appreciate it can’t always be easy. However, the best suggestion and most helpful for all involved would be to do that one thing you’ve already picked up on, which is to Talk to her!!!
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
The only problem is me…I don’t know how to express my self…so whenever we try to talk something goes wrong and we fight again.
Original post by souljav
Thanks for sharing, appreciate it can’t always be easy. However, the best suggestion and most helpful for all involved would be to do that one thing you’ve already picked up on, which is to Talk to her!!!
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
Find time to sit down, just the two of you where you are not tensed, stress or having an argument. Be open, honest and share how you feel both around what you want and your expectations and how her reactions and actions make you feel. Also, give her the opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings on the areas, and to be open and honest. It’s important neither if you raise your voice or get into an argument, but listen to each other. Or if one of you does, realise that it’s not helpful and purely emotional and don’t react to it.
It’s important to recognise both of you had separate and different upbringings (based on what you’ve said). It might be a case you overall had it easier than her, or at least that the way she sees it. It could be that your parents showed more or different attention to her. It could be a lot of things that have ultimately led to the current relationship you have, so good for you both to share your views and side of things.
If you can, also share what kind of relationship you’d like and want with her, and see her aims to for this. Things will not change overnight, or they might not change at all but at least both of you will know where you stand.
The constant arguing is both of you holding the truth and your feelings, and maybe repressed feelings and memories without a better outlet for them and that’s why the things said, get said.
Don’t be afraid, if you would like a better and stronger relationship with you sister then being honest is the only thing that will ultimately achieve this so take the first foot forward. You’ll feel better for it too, and not worry about it really anymore.
But I really appreciate u ..thnx u for advising me!
I have a sister who is 5 years older than me so it is less of an age gap but I can understand being called lazy, manipulative, a crybaby or privileged so ur definitely not alone. I do think that a lot of people imagine having siblings where the older one takes care of the younger one and they playfight but unconditionally love eachother yet its defo not that simple. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at her like a stranger who is related to you by birth because only that and the time you spend together is how you can judge her.
You might be younger but feel free to make boundaries and stand up for yourself because by remaining like this ur just going to end up constantly hurt. Try to make a situation where your both looking after eachother so that neither of you are a burden on the other because it's probably hard for her too.
Ngl I don't have much advice but ultimately it's up to you and your sister on how you live together from now
You might be younger but feel free to make boundaries and stand up for yourself because by remaining like this ur just going to end up constantly hurt. Try to make a situation where your both looking after eachother so that neither of you are a burden on the other because it's probably hard for her too.
Ngl I don't have much advice but ultimately it's up to you and your sister on how you live together from now
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