How to tell my friend she can’t come to my birthday?

We’ve been friends since secondary school, we are now 22.

In the last few years we distanced slightly but we always invited eachother to our celebrations purely because we’re part of the same friendship group, and we still got along well.

In the last year though, she has been a terrible friend. A lot of things happened last year to me and she didn’t reach out once, I can’t remember the last time she messaged me herself - I stopped messaging first and we literally haven’t spoken since last September.

However, now my birthday is coming up and she messaged me asking about my plans and saying she’s really excited. To be honest, I think shes just coming for the event and I don’t want someone there who I hardly even speak to anymore.

Any advice on what I can reply, without coming off too rude or emotional?

personally , i wouldnt even feel the need to respond if shes been a terrible friend , its not gonna be the end of the world if you or her cant attend each others party , you're grown you don't have to be like "my mom said no" just don't respond to her

Hey I am so sorry to hear that.
Its difficult seeing someone you once liked drift apart from you. I would just tell her about your plans for the birthday but dont talk about inviting her. If she brings up the topic, you could tell her that your only inviting your close friends

Oops I might not have been so clear in my OP, I meant that she’s messaged me about my plans for my birthday and has basically assumed that I am inviting her (asking me what time she should be ready for etc)…

May I suggest: "Hi, seeing as you haven't messaged me at all since September, and you haven't given a damn to message me first since before even then, I would LOVE to invite you! My party will be a representation of your recent contributions to our friendship! Absolutely nothing! F*ck off. Much love!"

First obviously check if they haven't replied because they're dealing with a loss of a family member or crippling depression, but if they're just not a good friend, the above is a nice way to let them know.

We’ve been friends since secondary school, we are now 22.

In the last few years we distanced slightly but we always invited eachother to our celebrations purely because we’re part of the same friendship group, and we still got along well.

In the last year though, she has been a terrible friend. A lot of things happened last year to me and she didn’t reach out once, I can’t remember the last time she messaged me herself - I stopped messaging first and we literally haven’t spoken since last September.

However, now my birthday is coming up and she messaged me asking about my plans and saying she’s really excited. To be honest, I think shes just coming for the event and I don’t want someone there who I hardly even speak to anymore.

Any advice on what I can reply, without coming off too rude or emotional?

If I had confidence I would love to be able to say the above post

Oops I might not have been so clear in my OP, I meant that she’s messaged me about my plans for my birthday and has basically assumed that I am inviting her (asking me what time she should be ready for etc)…

I will make it more polite friendly.

"Hi, good to hear from you! You haven't messaged me for half a year, so I assumed that you had moved on with our friendship. I'll be meeting with some of my friends for my birthday, looks like it'll be fun! No need to keep my contact, it seems we're just heading different places and you don't have the energy to message or call me, I get that, but I do need a certain level of contribution in a friendship and unfortunately ours won't work. Hope you're doing well."

This is lying and not getting right intentions across let her know why your not inviting her but be polite

Give her the benefit of the doubt and invite her along

How is it lying? She's not contributing, OP has had enough, therefore they're just going different ways and won't be friends. You could always use my initial option. That was more direct.