Doubts about relationship
I'm currently in my first long-term relationship with someone I matched with on Bumble after only being on the app for about a month and a half. While my girlfriend is loving, supportive, and gives me all the love she can possibly offer, I've been experiencing feelings of uncertainty and a growing fear of missing out.
The fear of missing out seems to stem from a variety of factors. As this is my first relationship, I sometimes wonder if I rushed into it without fully exploring my own sexuality and emotional needs. I didn't have any romantic or sexual experiences before meeting my girlfriend. The thought of not having had the chance to explore myself fully before committing to a long-term partnership is causing me some inner conflict.
I've reflected on the situation and can't pinpoint any specific issues with my girlfriend or our relationship. She has been wonderful, and I genuinely care for her. However, this lingering fear of missing out on other experiences keeps nagging at me.
I'm reaching out to hear your thoughts and experiences. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? How did you navigate the fear of missing out while being in a loving and supportive relationship? Are there any strategies or insights you can share that may help me find clarity?
I appreciate any input or advice you can offer. Thank you!
The fear of missing out seems to stem from a variety of factors. As this is my first relationship, I sometimes wonder if I rushed into it without fully exploring my own sexuality and emotional needs. I didn't have any romantic or sexual experiences before meeting my girlfriend. The thought of not having had the chance to explore myself fully before committing to a long-term partnership is causing me some inner conflict.
I've reflected on the situation and can't pinpoint any specific issues with my girlfriend or our relationship. She has been wonderful, and I genuinely care for her. However, this lingering fear of missing out on other experiences keeps nagging at me.
I'm reaching out to hear your thoughts and experiences. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? How did you navigate the fear of missing out while being in a loving and supportive relationship? Are there any strategies or insights you can share that may help me find clarity?
I appreciate any input or advice you can offer. Thank you!
What do you think someone else could offer you that your girlfriend can't?
Is that worth losing her over, or are you willing to take that risk?
Is that worth losing her over, or are you willing to take that risk?
That's the 'million dollar' question that I don't know the answer too. It probably doesn't help that my sisters been saying I could do a thousand times better than her almost the whole time. I can't see why she says that but maybe she's right and I'd feel better with someone else. I also keep thinking that if my girlfriend was truly right for me would I even be having these doubts but I fear that these doubts stem from me and that I'd feel the same no matter who I was with.
In my opinion, there are two ways to go about this:
You mentioned that you haven't had a chance to explore your physical/emotional needs yet. After getting into a relationship, do you feel any less attracted to your girlfriend? When she offers you her time and affection, are you able to receive it well? Is making you feel loved and appreciated in a way that you do not feel apprehensive about it? Are you also able to reciprocate this without feeling distant/detached from her? Sometimes we can see the people around us trying to be loving, but we just can't perceive it as true love, because the way it's conveyed just doesn't work for us.
If not, then perhaps you should take a break from the relationship to find out more about yourself. She sounds lovely, but by having such doubts you are hurting yourself and her, instead, gently discuss this with her and then spend some time with yourself. What I've found is that you can never get into a relationship because you're lonely. You must first become familiar/comfortable with yourself and this will teach you many things about what type of affection makes you feel the most loved. Just because your girlfriend loves you doesn't mean she is the only one who will ever love you, so it doesn't hurt to be single for a little longer to end up with the right person.
HOWEVER
What otherwise may be happening is that this is the first relationship where you are receiving deep and unconditional love, and this may feel unfamiliar. This is not a bad thing btw, it happens when we haven't been treated the best in the past, we feel we're only worthy of more conditional/inconsistent relationships. Sometimes the "missing out" feeling comes from not feeling the uncertainty and anxious attachment that may be present in those relationships. In this case, remind yourself that everyone deserves someone who loves them deeply, and you and your girlfriend can be that for each other. Try to enjoy her love rather than push it away, and see how that makes you feel.
Your sister may also be playing a role in these emotions. If she's someone whose opinion you value, then hearing that you can do better may be causing some inner conflict between what you know and what you're hearing from others. Even if her opinion didn't cause this conflict, it's most likely fueling it. Although she is your family and she is trying to show she cares, it might be best to set some boundaries with her, if her comments are regarding your girlfriend's appearance. If they are regarding her personality, then may you should ask your sister what she sees as her negative traits, and perhaps this may notify you of a trait you haven't noticed before.
You mentioned that you haven't had a chance to explore your physical/emotional needs yet. After getting into a relationship, do you feel any less attracted to your girlfriend? When she offers you her time and affection, are you able to receive it well? Is making you feel loved and appreciated in a way that you do not feel apprehensive about it? Are you also able to reciprocate this without feeling distant/detached from her? Sometimes we can see the people around us trying to be loving, but we just can't perceive it as true love, because the way it's conveyed just doesn't work for us.
If not, then perhaps you should take a break from the relationship to find out more about yourself. She sounds lovely, but by having such doubts you are hurting yourself and her, instead, gently discuss this with her and then spend some time with yourself. What I've found is that you can never get into a relationship because you're lonely. You must first become familiar/comfortable with yourself and this will teach you many things about what type of affection makes you feel the most loved. Just because your girlfriend loves you doesn't mean she is the only one who will ever love you, so it doesn't hurt to be single for a little longer to end up with the right person.
HOWEVER
What otherwise may be happening is that this is the first relationship where you are receiving deep and unconditional love, and this may feel unfamiliar. This is not a bad thing btw, it happens when we haven't been treated the best in the past, we feel we're only worthy of more conditional/inconsistent relationships. Sometimes the "missing out" feeling comes from not feeling the uncertainty and anxious attachment that may be present in those relationships. In this case, remind yourself that everyone deserves someone who loves them deeply, and you and your girlfriend can be that for each other. Try to enjoy her love rather than push it away, and see how that makes you feel.
Your sister may also be playing a role in these emotions. If she's someone whose opinion you value, then hearing that you can do better may be causing some inner conflict between what you know and what you're hearing from others. Even if her opinion didn't cause this conflict, it's most likely fueling it. Although she is your family and she is trying to show she cares, it might be best to set some boundaries with her, if her comments are regarding your girlfriend's appearance. If they are regarding her personality, then may you should ask your sister what she sees as her negative traits, and perhaps this may notify you of a trait you haven't noticed before.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Was I wrong
- Stopped looking
- Am I overthinking ?
- Treating my new boyfriend worse than how I treated my ex
- Is there a possibility that my bf is cheating?
- He's asked me if I'm ok
- What to do in this situation?
- My friend is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, it's messing with my head
- aqa gcse english lit macbeth
- does taking a gap year make it harder to make friends
- Signs he will come back
- Splitting up or taking a break
- I am not physically attracted to my boyfriend
- anyone able to mark this pride and prejudice ocr english literature 40 mark question?
- Relationship HELP!
- Does kindness, having a good heart, gentle manners
- Will the breakup impact my course?
- Honestly, is this normal for a first relationship? I have doubts a lot
- Did he say this cause he wanted to hurt me ?
- Helpppp
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
