What makes a rude person?

Through trauma of being bullied at school, the bully at the time said I'm rude.

Now in my late 20s, I've always carried this ideology that "I'm rude".
Any small thing I do at work or day to day life, I'm constantly worried people see me as being rude.

I know I'm not rude and people know I'm not rude...but it's always in my thoughts.

The other day, I forgot to say good morning to some of my colleagues through our messaging platform...I was really busy because I was taking on a manager's role for the day. Then that's when I thought negatively, and that I was rude for not saying good morning.

I've had help by a psychiatrist

What makes a rude person?

Reply 1

becca.grace

I would say a rude person doesn’t care or notice when they’re rude so the fact that you worry so much about being polite and friendly tells me you can’t be a rude person!

Reply 2

BinThereDunThat

I’m sorry to hear you went through that.

A rude person projects their ill feelings onto others, much like that bully did with you. “You’re rude” in that case really meant “I’m rude, and I’m going to make someone else think it’s their fault.” It’s gaslighting.

Sometimes people may call you “rude” when you’re sticking up for yourself and what you’ve actually done is call out their bad behaviour and let them know you won’t accept it. If this happens, it’s a sure sign that they can give it out, but not take it.

As the previous poster says, a genuinely rude person doesn’t care who’s affected by their rudeness. If someone calls you an unhelpful name, it doesn’t make it true just because they say so.

Glad you’ve seen a therapist. Hope it went well.