My dad said I can’t marry any ‘BMWs’

Reply 20

StriderHort

21

Original post by hubertsdz

looking for indian girlfriend please get in touch :smile:

Just out of curiosity, do you actually think such a post leads to a partner?

Reply 21

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Original post by hubertsdz

looking for indian girlfriend please get in touch :smile:

Polite reminder that this is The Student Room not The Singles Room. Thank you.

Reply 22

gtty123

22

Original post by Sorcerer of Old

Polite reminder that this is The Student Room not The Singles Room. Thank you.

No. You are wrong. For that person this is 'The Singles Reunite'.

I expected you to know that at least.

Spoiler

Reply 23

username6898086

1

Original post by Anonymous #1

I think this is an Indian thing, as when i searched what it meant it actually came up.
No Blacks, Muslims or Whites.
Now, this is a problem for me and I’m so stupid for not retaliating yesterday when my dad said this.
2 females in our family (my cousins) have both married white people and everyone is happy and fine with it.
The sole reason as to why I don’t want to marry a brown guy is because I don’t want to relive my mom’s whole unfortunate past again and I REALLY think that brown people are too ‘close and friendly’. I see brown boys like Brothers. My dad pretty much will somehow know everyone.
What’s even weirder is that my sister and her boyfriend (who is brown) somehow have a connection through many families and my mom LIKES it when they have connections as it allows her to ‘know the family and trust them’.
When I went to India, I’ve had miserable experiences there as well and I just don’t think Indian guys are my preference.
What’s scarier is that my mom has been persuading me to have an arranged marriage but I’ve stepped on my foot and said no.
I’m such an intelligent, hard working girl. I’ve dedicated so much of my life towards education and I don’t want it all just to be for some random guy that my mom has forced me to be with.
Also my mom and dad had an arranged marriage and they really don’t get along.
I’m still young, I’m 18, but my dad restricting me on who I should marry really frustrated me.
I could EASILY picture myself with someone other than an Indian guy, as I have been with multiple in my past and they loved me for who I was.
And if you say ‘your parents can’t control your life’, well it’s MUCH easier said than done

I do not want to put it down to a "rebellious phase", but you will eventually realise your own people are the best to marry within. Its not a universal rule, but usually a rule of thumb. Your cultural beliefs, how your parents will be treated in old age and how you wish to raise further generations will best align with those who had similar cultural experiences to you. I assure you, not every brown boy is your brother, nor will they make you relive your mothers bad experience- thats quite an exaggeration, this scenario is seen a lot in our community. life is unfair and to try and use that for reasoning to not marry within your race is pretty weak
With that being said, I do not want to discourage you from living your life and actually finding love for yourself as there is good and bad people in every race. HOWEVER, if you were to marry a Muslim - the M in BMW aforementioned- be aware you are not a woman of the book and will have to sacrifice your religion, identity and possibly your family to conform to someone else's lifestyle. The religion and ideology in it is very antithetical to the principles of most Eastern religions so that's a factor to consider. As for blacks and whites, they culture may not conciliate with ours. We place emphasis on giving our parents the treatment they deserve in old age, keeping strong family links which you may not find in the same way as to our race.
your parents are doing this for your own good and benefit. You have to trust they know better and want what's good for you hence, why they pressure you to marry among people they know so they know what family you will be going into, ability to communicate with their in laws, and won't have their culture diluted. I debated this question so many times with myself with wanting to push back more so when my dad would only want me to marry a specific caste but now I see its benefits far outweigh the negatives. Just some advice for you in case you swing towards embracing it instead of fighting it. :smile:

My dad said I can’t marry any ‘BMWs’

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you