People obsessed with a babies looks e.g. green greyish eyes fair skin

I don't think this is so much an obsession with the baby as an obsession with light, typically Caucasian colouring. This kind of idolisation is quite widespread across Asia and particularly prevalent in India. There are even skin lightening creams that have tradenames such as ''light and beautiful.'' In any case, having fair skin and light eyes doesn't mean you're going to be beautiful, there are plenty of pale, ugly monsters in this world.

I don't think this is so much an obsession with the baby as an obsession with light, typically Caucasian colouring. This kind of idolisation is quite widespread in Asia and particularly prevalent in India. There are even skin lightening creams that have tradenames such as ''fair and lovely.'' In any case, having fair skin and light eyes doesn't mean you're going to be beautiful, there are plenty of pale, ugly monsters in this world.

Can't lie it brought a slight insecurity in myself sign my brown eyes. It's stupid but I just feel the Asian community need to wake up it makes us young girls insecure and makes us feel inadequate if we don't have certain features

The features will darken don’t worry, I went from being blonde to having dark hair at the end of childhood

That's the thing like when features darken I feel like we are no longer considered beautiful inn the Asian community it's upsetting

True. Even in some African communities, colorism runs deep. I find the obsession with paleness sad. There is so much beauty in diversity and the world would be boring if we all looked the same.

When I was born, I was ridiculously pale and folks there were so obsessed with paleness that random hospital workers were stopping by my mom's room just to look at me. My ears were the only darkened part of me so they made comments like 'she's so beautiful but her ears. It's a shame she might be dark'. I didn't turn out dark but it's sad knowing that most of the people back home who find me attractive will look the other way if I was just a few shades darker. They also made comments about my nose because that's the one part of my face that doesn't lean towards Western standards. I'm 1000% African. I'm not supposed to look Western. Why should I be held to non-African standards? I don't get it.

But I'm glad I've grown past insecurities and don't hold myself to those standards. Different features are beautiful. Never let anybody tell you otherwise.

True. Even in some African communities, colorism runs deep. I find the obsession with paleness sad. There is so much beauty in diversity and the world would be boring if we all looked the same.

When I was born, I was ridiculously pale and folks there were so obsessed with paleness that random hospital workers were stopping by my mom's room just to look at me. My ears were the only darkened part of me so they made comments like 'she's so beautiful but her ears. It's a shame she might be dark'. I didn't turn out dark but it's sad knowing that most of the people back home who find me attractive will look the other way if I was just a few shades darker. They also made comments about my nose because that's the one part of my face that doesn't lean towards Western standards. I'm 1000% African. I'm not supposed to look Western. Why should I be held to non-African standards? I don't get it.

But I'm glad I've grown past insecurities and don't hold myself to those standards. Different features are beautiful. Never let anybody tell you otherwise.

Another point is I remember an Asian girl telling me that in her culture once women are age 30-35 they are considered ‘past it’. You can sort of pick up on this in the western culture but this view seems a lot stronger in Asian communities. So if women (of all cultures) loose their appeal and spend the rest of their lives being old after this age anyway does skin colour really make a difference.

Another point is I remember an Asian girl telling me that in her culture once women are age 30-35 they are considered ‘past it’. You can sort of pick up on this in the western culture but this view seems a lot stronger in Asian communities. So if women (of all cultures) loose their appeal and spend the rest of their lives being old after this age anyway does skin colour really make a difference.

That's honestly crazy It makes me feel soo sad how little babies can be picked on for their appearance. It's really shallow world, every skin colour and feature is beautiful. But the obsessision of pale features is prevailing still which is shocking.

That's another point I absolutely relate with. It's surprising how similar our issues are. Back home, by the time you're 21, they're already pressuring you about getting married and talking about your future kids. Those who wait till 30-35 are mocked and treated like they have personality issues. It's like you have not succeeded until you have a ring and a bunch of kids. But men there are allowed to joke around till their 40s.

I speak to childhood friends from there. They're already asking me when I plan to find a husband. I also had a lot of older men trying to ask my parents for my hand in marriage. I'm 20. I don't want to talk about marriage or children.

So women basically spend most of their lives being old : D If you live till you are 90 and old and unattractive at 30, that’s a good 60 years being old. So I wouldn’t pay much attention to peoples views on age, I would place importance on health and skills join some sport/fitness clubs etc.

That's another point I absolutely relate with. It's surprising how similar our issues are. Back home, by the time you're 21, they're already pressuring you about getting married and talking about your future kids. Those who wait till 30-35 are mocked and treated like they have personality issues. It's like you have not succeeded until you have a ring and a bunch of kids. But men there are allowed to joke around till their 40s.

I speak to childhood friends from there. They're already asking me when I plan to find a husband. I also had a lot of older men trying to ask my parents for my hand in marriage. I'm 20. I don't want to talk about marriage or children.

darker skin tones are often associated with lower caste status and have been for a thousand years or more, and so Brahmin-heritage families in particular can be very weird over desiring light skin.

Traditionally the Brahmins have described themselves as 'white-skinned' and the assumption was that the darkest skins were for the sudras. This sort of bias was reinforced by centuries of conquest, colonialism, and outsider rule, even with the Mughals.

This history is deeply ingrained in Indian culture, unfortunately.

That literally sums it up. The marriage talks are going about for me and I'm turning 21 next week can't lie I'm dreading it, it's like a new added pressure each year of things I should be doing. Absolutely annoying and sad.