I am too careless,

I keep making basic mistakes, is it worth to continue a PhD program?

like basic things such as referencing a different subject when writing a draft, it is basic now that I know, but I thought it should be not that different, but I am wrong.
I was using a wrong format for a basic flowchart, and keep making simple things complicated
then keep making the same mistakes eventhough the supervisors keep telling me its wrong, I know it's bad, but I may be forgotten or maybe just too careless.
He told me I am like a kindergarten and keep making school level mistakes, and they thought I am capable, and they are not accepting me because I need guidance in all aspects

I feel like I might have ADHD, or just simply incapable, either way I feel like a prick in my supervisors side, so I feel like I should withdraw, but I am fully funded international student and I feel bad if I leave, but also feel bad if I don't.

I myself don't really matter if I quit, there's more in this world than academics, but my friends are telling me I should at least leave with a master, I do enjoy researching, but not as much in a similar structured way, maybe
I am on a candidature and will be having a panel in 1 months, if the performance is lacking, and feels like I will fail, I will tell them I want to withdraw or deferring to master, but need a leave for few months.

What do you think about this?

Hi @nawsh.

Thank you for your post and for being open about the situation within your studies.

After reading what you said, I think it is good idea for you to continue. The little mistakes you do, do not mean that you are not worthy of doing this PhD. If it is not big intentional mistakes like neglecting your studies, or not doing what is needed from you, then I would just continue. I know many PhD students (including me) who make mistakes.

I know you get "punished" by your supervisors constantly, but it is good only to take the best from what they say in terms of learning from the mistakes and moving on, but when it is too much, it is better to ignore it to some level if it is too overwhelming for you. You can always practise your assertivity and reply to your supervisors in a way: "Thank you for pointing this out, I will do (or already do) my best to improve myself in this area. But sometimes it is challenging for me so I appreciate your patience with my learning process."

This opportunity that you are having now, regarding your sponsorship and fully funded course doesn't happen to everyone, so I think it is still good to be grateful for it even though it is not easy sometimes.

If you do have any questions, please let me know. :smile:

Lucie,
PhD student
Student Ambassador
Cranfield university

Reply 2

nawsh

OP

2

Original post by Cranfield University

Hi @nawsh.

Thank you for your post and for being open about the situation within your studies.

After reading what you said, I think it is good idea for you to continue. The little mistakes you do, do not mean that you are not worthy of doing this PhD. If it is not big intentional mistakes like neglecting your studies, or not doing what is needed from you, then I would just continue. I know many PhD students (including me) who make mistakes.

I know you get "punished" by your supervisors constantly, but it is good only to take the best from what they say in terms of learning from the mistakes and moving on, but when it is too much, it is better to ignore it to some level if it is too overwhelming for you. You can always practise your assertivity and reply to your supervisors in a way: "Thank you for pointing this out, I will do (or already do) my best to improve myself in this area. But sometimes it is challenging for me so I appreciate your patience with my learning process."

This opportunity that you are having now, regarding your sponsorship and fully funded course doesn't happen to everyone, so I think it is still good to be grateful for it even though it is not easy sometimes.

If you do have any questions, please let me know. :smile:

Lucie,
PhD student
Student Ambassador
Cranfield university

Thank you for your reply!

if I can say more..

I feel like I might be really not suited after all, I just reviewed a simple draft of motivation of the research, even though I should have finished my whole yearly progress report by now, but I cannot seem to write it well. I think it has been becoming better, but it still leaves a lot of gaps, and when they ask simple questions, I cannot answer it clearly. When they tell me the answer, I feel like I know, it's just not coming out like it supposed to be. They even helped me re writing the first paragraph. They said if I can't explain it well, I simply don't understand. It may be true, but I can't bring myself to say I want to quit, because as they say, I simply am not capable to do research.

sorry for dumping these problems

I am too careless,

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