Girl dating smells of sweat

I’ve been dating someone for a while and I like her a lot however sometimes she has strong BO. How do I bring this up? I don’t see us progressing further without doing so. She probably be mortified but I do wonder if she is already aware

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

If you are prepared to love her even after the BO she must be someone you really care about? This isn't going to get any better as time goes on and your relationship continues. Many times the bacteria causing BO get embedded into clothing, and at super low heat washing cycles 30 degrees and below these bacteria are not cleared out. Some non bio washing liquids/powders don't clear BO either. Many people have a whole wardrobe of BO impregnated clothing, and even with soap and water in the shower, and deodorant afterwards the clothing stinks. The clothing can be a bad problem, and it all needs taking out of the wardrobe (every last piece) and washing at higher temperatures with bio washing liquids if the fabric & individual can cope with it to eliminate all the bacteria. Many people don't use soap when they shower and just wash their pits with water. So if there is BO it won't clear away the bacteria and the residual smell and BO bacteria remain. The final part is buying a good 72 hour deodorant (unperformed) which doesn't cause skin reaction if you are sensitive to perfumed products.

Well OK that's how to get rid of and prevent it reoccurring - now consider how to broach the subject with someone else.

If it was you that stunk like a skunk and the tables were turned - how would you like your partner to raise the subject if need be? (and you were in fact oblivious to the problem) Just say to her something on the lines of - I've been with you now for x years and I love the very bones of you (or similar) but I don't love your BO. I don't know how to broach this subject with you because I didn't want to cause you offence, yet I know it will and don't want to lose you. It is really bad. I'm not sure if you are aware of it but you really do have a bad BO problem. I did wonder whether we might need a new washing machine etc etc? (ie how to save face) If the answer is Yes and she doesn't want to change - it may be time to consider whether you stay or go. No - and she is mortified, she will hopefully want to do something about it. I would be surprised if she is working that no one has said anything in the workplace. An employer has been supported in civil employment court for dismissing an employee who had a bad BO problem, one which was really offensive to colleagues, and despite the employer informing them, they did nothing about the problem.

Subtle methods - Find articles on getting rid of BO and leave them on the coffee table. Or use them to talk about BO - ask whether she thinks you have BO? Discuss that you have noticed she has a strong BO that you find it all a bit too much (Is it spoiling your together time?) Take it from there. Be honest and open without being nasty or cruel. Offer to wash, dry and iron the laundry (if she can do her bit in the shower and use deodorant - argh red flags all around) I'm not sure which is worse - epic snoring or BO?

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

Does she smell of sweat because she's pretty much given up on life? EG eats junk food or whatever's fed to her, spends all day playing video games, or watching social media, maybe severe drink or drug habit, self-destructive lifestyle etc?

Or does she sometimes smell of sweat because of the priorities that she has in her life. Where sometime she does physical stuff that's rewarding to her, eg gym session, gardening or farming, decorating, car mechanics, chef work, brick-laying, jogging, running up escalators, grafting and hustling at work, coping with stress at work including rush hour traffic etc etc etc? And her BO is merely the result of the active parts of her lifestyle combined with her not taking 2 showers per day because she's too busy or pre-occupied with other stuff?

If it's the former, what are you doing with such a woman?
If it's the latter, there is no ethical way in which you can bring up the subject of her BO. And you should either tolerate it, or get out of the relationship. Because it would be unethical on your part for you to try to influence another healthy adult into a path where she will be less productive or less personally fulfilled or less content with her day to day routine.

Nobody is perfect. Here's a video where a leading dating coach asks a client what they are looking for in a woman. And the list that the client comes back with is contradictory and pretty much impossible to find in any woman on the planet.

Are you doing a similar thing? Where you want a girlfriend that's active / sporty / atheltic body / go-getter that smells fragrant all the time?
So that some of the features that attract you to her result in a feature that you are unattracted to?
You have a choice. You can be realistic about what you're looking for in a woman, in the full knowledge that some good points will likely result in some not so good points. Or you can be perfectionist and live in a state of perpetual dissasitisfaction.

If I were to give advice to your girlfriend it would be that if her smelling better more of the time would result in compromises in any rewarding areas of her life then she shouldn't change. I would also tell that she never go out of her way to impress her boyfriend. Women with that sort of self confidence are more attractive. She as she is, is the prize.

And you as you are should be the prize.

2 prizes together. Enjoying the time they spend with each other.

================
In answer to "If it was you that stunk like a skunk and the tables were turned - how would you like your partner to raise the subject if need be?" my answer would be. I'd like my partner to raise the subject in any way whatsoever. They could be as direct or rude and insulting as they liked. I would merely smile and shrug my shoulders in reply. Of course I have stinky armpits sometimes. The sort of stuff I get up to, it's inevitable.