Girlfriend shows no affection?

My girlfriend who I have been with for over a year now, at the beginning of our relationship she was showing a lot of affection she was my first for everything. I had never been in a relationship before, so she was the person i had my first:
- hug
- kiss
- holding hands
- going out to eat / dates
- and sleeping together..

I was super shy at the beginning of our relationship as I never did any of these things, whilst she has had 3 ex boyfriends the recent one being the one she had lost her virginity to...

Long story short, we've been living together recently as we had the opportunity to do so (for a short period of time) and I will be eventually going back to my area to live there as we wanted to spend time together. The point now is, she is not showing affection anymore as she did and I am the one giving her love always? She does not give me hugs, kisses or even want to sleep with me anymore unless I intiate something? And even when I try to initiate something she ends up pushing me away and then guilt trips me saying 'I am tired I am going to go to sleep' (which happens everytime I respectfully ask if we can make love).

I don't know If I am a jerk for wanting more affection, but I miss her hugging me and pulling me in to kiss and just me feeling like I was special and getting butterflies because she really looked like she was into me, but now it just seems like she's not.

I had a conversation with her a few days ago about all this and she said she'll try but she says 'I don't really like 'lovey dovey' relationships anymore' (meanwhile she told me how she was all over her ex and always used to want his attraction even though he was abusive she stayed with him and did anything for him, but I am doing everything I can for her cleaning, bringing her meals, taking her out and everything I get nothing but a 'thanks' no hugs no kisses no affection nothing).

So what do I do? I don't want to break up with her she is my first love and I want her to be my last.. sigh this is so sad :frown:

Reply 1

Zarek

Back off a bit an maintain your independence and see what happens. Questioning and becoming more needy is probably not the best approach. To be honest if things don’t improve I’d consider preemptive dumping. Painful in the short term but a lot better for morale and self esteem down the line.