Still a virgin

I'm 26 years old, female, and yup, still a virgin.. I am neurodivergent but I think I present normally enough, I'm just introverted as all hell and had been practially socially isolated for years. At this point I actually think I'd be far too anxious to enter into a relationship of any kind, never mind going any further than that, but at the same time I don't want that for myself. I want a relationship, I want to be able to enjoy life, but my social anxiety and inability to connect with people and start conversations has stunted me so much. Do I just give up? I really don't know what to do. :frown:

Reply 1

kimpo078

9

maybe instead of a relationship, make some friends at first- hopefully this can help boost your confidence and then after some time maybe you can start with a relationship.

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 26 years old, female, and yup, still a virgin.. I am neurodivergent but I think I present normally enough, I'm just introverted as all hell and had been practially socially isolated for years. At this point I actually think I'd be far too anxious to enter into a relationship of any kind, never mind going any further than that, but at the same time I don't want that for myself. I want a relationship, I want to be able to enjoy life, but my social anxiety and inability to connect with people and start conversations has stunted me so much. Do I just give up? I really don't know what to do. :frown:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by kimpo078

maybe instead of a relationship, make some friends at first- hopefully this can help boost your confidence and then after some time maybe you can start with a relationship.

I find making friends quite a challenge too :s-smilie:

I can be friendly with people and have chats but when it comes to actual meaningful friendships, people just don't seem to want that with me. I do try, but it never seems reciprocal so I dunno what to do.

Reply 3

kimpo078

9

Original post by Anonymous

I find making friends quite a challenge too :s-smilie:

I can be friendly with people and have chats but when it comes to actual meaningful friendships, people just don't seem to want that with me. I do try, but it never seems reciprocal so I dunno what to do.

Try having friends with similar interests maybe- I'm very introvert and shy myself and what worked for me was tht at first, I liked this band a lot and this other girl in my class did as well so we both got close due to it. Also if u have an extrovert friend, it's also very helpful as they can help you become friends with more people- it takes time so dw if it doesn't happen instantly :smile:

Reply 4

Adz2042

18

This might help you:

Start with a piece of paper and write your name in the centre, draw a circle around it.
Draw 5 lines from the centre circle, and in those, write your top 5 hobbies or interests.
Draw 3 lines from each hobby listed, and write an activity that you do.
Draw a further line from that, and write 'internet' or 'google'.

For example:
Someone could like the following hobbies, as shown below:
1/ lego
2/ disney
3/ music
4/ theme parks
5/ dog

break this down:
1/ lego - what type of lego? any particular theme? is it sets or parts? moc (my own creation)?
2/ disney - what sort of disney? disney+? does star wars, marvel come into it? is it just the movies, or is it the merchandise?
3/ music - what genre? what is your favourite artist right now? what is the top 5 hits in the charts?
4/ theme parks - what rides do i like? thrill, family?
5/ dog - what breed do i like? do i want to own a dog? where would i walk him/her?

break this down further:
1/ lego - maybe on my next holiday or trip, i can research and see if a lego store or legoland exists, and go visit? how much would it cost?
2/ disney - lets start a plan and budget for a trip to disneyland / disney world / disney store london. lets browse shopdisney for ideas and merchandise. oh i know, lets check social media for other disney fans and see if i can connect / find friends.
3/ music - okay, i know the genre i like and the artists, lets use the internet and see if any of them are performing somewhere local to me? maybe they have a fan page or are at a festival coming up?
4/ theme parks - where is the nearest to me? do i want to start easy with Drayton Manor (family) / go in the middle (Chessington /Alton Towers) or go full-thrill (Thorpe)?
5/ dog - i can't afford a dog, but i do love them. maybe on my next walk, if i see one, i'll go over and say hello? Or even better, I'll reach out to the local volunteer shelter and see if i can spend time with dogs there.

I hope you can see my point here. If you struggle with finding friends or meeting people, take what you enjoy doing in life, expand it, and meet other people who share the same interests.

Still a virgin

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