Fed up of living at home with parents + other stuff

I'm only 18 and I am doing my A-levels so I don't have much choice, but I hate living at home.

My dad is retired so he is constantly here and always getting in the way. He is constantly walking around, always making noise, and his presence is just annoying. What's more, he is bored and has very little to do so he doesn't go out much or just get on with something in his own room.

It's not like we have a small house either. My brother is at uni and my mum just keeps herself to herself when she isn't at work, but I still find my dad is always "there" bumbling around getting in my way. The worst thing though, is that he is always really grumpy and takes it out on me and my mum. Whether he moans about there not being enough food in the fridge, or is complaining about something else, he really does have a habit of making everyone else around him feel down.

My mum, although she doesn't get in the way like my dad, is also a bit annoying at times. If I ever have friends round (which I don't, for obvious reasons :shifty:

) she will be really nosy and I just feel as if I am constantly under the watch by my parents.

It's got to the stage where it is actually making me depressed just because living in this house is miserable. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on school work and just constantly feel ****. It's not just this though, there are also other things like crap friends and the **** school that I go to which are ****ing me off.

I've kind of got into the back of my mind that I will be going to uni next year and it will all be over, but I'm still dreading the thought of having 3 months off (the summer hols) before I go. I know it seems ludicrous but what else can I do other than lark around at home? Even when I come back from uni in the summer holidays it will be awful to be at home...

I'm also worried that I won't even make the most of uni. My self-confidence has been completely shattered in the past couple of years (due to a range of different reasons) and I'm just not the person I use to be. I'm all up for the fresh start, and need it so badly, but I can't help but think I will waste it.

Reply 1

New...Romantic

First of all, I can totally sympathise. I'm 18 and living at home, but I'm in first year at uni. My mum's hurt her knee so she's off work for months waiting on an operation, she's always in. Pretty much the same situation, although I'm sure your dad's a fair bit worse. I don't get on with my dad, he moans all the time. It does make the house a miserable place to be.

At least you can go to uni and escape. I really regret the decision to live at home and am trying to move out as soon as I can, but it's causing me so much stress and hassle. The only advice I can give is move into halls, this was my biggest mistake.

As for the self-confidence, hanging about the house and lack of decent friends, I would say try to get a job. It's a pretty good way to meet people, it gives you something else to do and it can build up your confidence. I was painfully shy before I started working, and although I only did a few hours a week, after a while I had a lot more confidence. Also, you get paid which is nice.

Just try to make it through this year, and know that when you go to uni things will get better. I'm sure you won't waste it, but the best thing to do is stop worrying about home and stop wallowing in it, no one wants to hang about with someone miserable. I know it's hard, but it is worth it.

Reply 2

heartofglass

Firstly, i think you're being a bit unfair on your parents, i mean, it is their house. Ever thought that it may be you that's getting in their way?
Secondly, if you're fed up being at home, then just do general activities that don't involve being at home. Surely you're at college most of the week? Home at 3/4/5ish? So even if you are at home it doesnt mean you're there that long, and can't you just go to your room, or anywhere they dont tend to sit around? Go to a friend's house occasionaly after school, join a club, go to the library etc etc. It's not really hard to think of other things to do.

My mum and dad are both retired, which means theyre both at home, pretty much ALL the time, i never get the house free to myself for more than 2 hours or so and i see them everyday. There are times when they sometimes annoy me, but if they do, i just give me them my "leave me alone" face and go to my room or go out. You're going to be at uni next year, so at least you have that to look forward to, it's not as if you're stuck living there forever. My mum is quite interfering, but i see that as a good thing, at least she takes an interest in what i do, and she's friendly to all my friends, therefore they like her, and they're always welcome.

Also onto the other problems, when one thing is bothering me, i think of all the other things that i dislike, and it just blows everything out of proportion. Things probably aren't as bad as you imagine, you're probably really lucky but don't realise it. At Uni, alot of people come out their shell, you'll meet a whole load of different people, and you will become more confident even if you don't feel it now.

Anyway, to sum it up, basically just don't be so harsh on your parents, keep out of their way when they annoy you, it's the best way. Think about how you'll be at Uni next year and you won't have this problem. You may even miss your parents and living at home, and regret saying this about them!

Reply 3

Bubbles_Blossom_Buttercup

Get a job during the summer.

That way you will make new mates to hang around with (after work drinks) and have extra money for uni (you WILL need it) and also you will have something to add to your cv.

During the summer hols when your at uni the normal thing to do would be to get a job and save for rent and stuff for the year after.

Temping agencies in your area will be more than willing to help you find a job.

Also, dont give your parents such a hard time, they have had to put up with all your teenage drama over the past 18 years and are letting you live in there house, rent free i'm assuming.
Cut them some slack and be a but more grateful.