Irrational Stress, decisions, and missing out.
Today was a bad day for me. Right now, I should be at the front row of a rave, boppin to bangers and dirty drum'n'bass, but instead I am at home, typing this blog post.
What happened?
Two days ago, on Thursday night, I booked tickets to Lincoln's Halloween Festival Rave. The lineup looked amazing, and despite all the acts also performing at another rave I am going to next Saturday, I brought myself tickets. I am a solo raver.
On the following day, I was stressing about this upcoming rave on the weekend in Lincoln. I was concerned it was going to cost too much money in total, I think? In all honesty, I can't remember what I was stressing about, but I'll come back to that.
Friday night, I matched with someone on a music dating app, and found out they were going to another rave, also happening on the Saturday, in London, which I had come across previously. We talked, and the conversation was good. I liked her profile.
Suddenly, I start looking into this other rave in London, and wondering if I should go there instead the next day, despite having already brought my ticket for Lincoln. I begin to think of all the disadvantages of going to Lincoln, and the potential issues I could have.
I speak to my mother, but it was late, and they were too tired to advise.
I am passing around in circles in my room until past 2am, trying to decide if I should go to Lincoln, or chance going to London and listing my Lincoln ticket for sale. I get very tired, and I am desperate to go to sleep. I book tickets for London and return coach tickets too for the morning.
After an uneasy night's sleep, I awake to the same turmoil continued. Time is ticking, and I need to leave or else I will miss my coach; however, I am apprehensive to go to London, and slow to get ready. I miss my coach. I then spend the next few hours, researching single coach tickets to London but also trying to decide which rave I'd rather go to, breaking down the costs and financial loss of not attending each event. I haven't had any breakfast, and I am feeling incredibly stressed out. Time is ticking.
Eventually, it is too late to go to London, and after then embarking on my drive to Lincoln, I soon stop and realise it is too late to attend that rave too.
Feeling unhappy and defeated, I slowly drive home, where I am staying for the rest of my evening. I have lost £108 on not attending the two events.
Where did I go wrong?
Firstly, as mentioned, I was stressing about attending the Lincoln Halloween Festival on Friday. But I can't remember why. In hindsight, whatever I was stressing about obviously wasn't particularly important. This is the irrational stress.
Secondly, I re-organised all my plans because I matched with someone, who I still barely knew, on a dating app, and who was going to an alternative rave.
Thirdly, I purposely doubled booked myself, with the naivety that my ticket would re-sell.
Despite being extremely late, last minute, and already having an event booked, I still went and booked a ticket.
I was obviously thinking with my loins, 'chasing tale', or otherwise known as 'simping'. I was also stressing without rational meaning. And I also showed no regard to potentially losing £45.
I really hope I learn from this mistake.
As mentioned, I do have another two raves this weekend. One on the Friday, and another on the Saturday. Previously, I have been very uneasy about going to the rave on the Saturday, as I am concerned if I will be too tired and find the commute difficult. I would also accentually be going solo, and unlike other venues, this rave is on a much larger scale.
But, after missing today's Halloween rave, I do not want to miss another. And I do wonder if I will be unable to recollect all my prior concerns and worries after the event. Are these too irrational stresses?
I hope this has been a helpful read. And also, does anyone else feel as though they suffer with irrational concerns, act impulsively with decisions, and struggle with decisions?
What happened?
Two days ago, on Thursday night, I booked tickets to Lincoln's Halloween Festival Rave. The lineup looked amazing, and despite all the acts also performing at another rave I am going to next Saturday, I brought myself tickets. I am a solo raver.
On the following day, I was stressing about this upcoming rave on the weekend in Lincoln. I was concerned it was going to cost too much money in total, I think? In all honesty, I can't remember what I was stressing about, but I'll come back to that.
Friday night, I matched with someone on a music dating app, and found out they were going to another rave, also happening on the Saturday, in London, which I had come across previously. We talked, and the conversation was good. I liked her profile.
Suddenly, I start looking into this other rave in London, and wondering if I should go there instead the next day, despite having already brought my ticket for Lincoln. I begin to think of all the disadvantages of going to Lincoln, and the potential issues I could have.
I speak to my mother, but it was late, and they were too tired to advise.
I am passing around in circles in my room until past 2am, trying to decide if I should go to Lincoln, or chance going to London and listing my Lincoln ticket for sale. I get very tired, and I am desperate to go to sleep. I book tickets for London and return coach tickets too for the morning.
After an uneasy night's sleep, I awake to the same turmoil continued. Time is ticking, and I need to leave or else I will miss my coach; however, I am apprehensive to go to London, and slow to get ready. I miss my coach. I then spend the next few hours, researching single coach tickets to London but also trying to decide which rave I'd rather go to, breaking down the costs and financial loss of not attending each event. I haven't had any breakfast, and I am feeling incredibly stressed out. Time is ticking.
Eventually, it is too late to go to London, and after then embarking on my drive to Lincoln, I soon stop and realise it is too late to attend that rave too.
Feeling unhappy and defeated, I slowly drive home, where I am staying for the rest of my evening. I have lost £108 on not attending the two events.
Where did I go wrong?
Firstly, as mentioned, I was stressing about attending the Lincoln Halloween Festival on Friday. But I can't remember why. In hindsight, whatever I was stressing about obviously wasn't particularly important. This is the irrational stress.
Secondly, I re-organised all my plans because I matched with someone, who I still barely knew, on a dating app, and who was going to an alternative rave.
Thirdly, I purposely doubled booked myself, with the naivety that my ticket would re-sell.
Despite being extremely late, last minute, and already having an event booked, I still went and booked a ticket.
I was obviously thinking with my loins, 'chasing tale', or otherwise known as 'simping'. I was also stressing without rational meaning. And I also showed no regard to potentially losing £45.
I really hope I learn from this mistake.
As mentioned, I do have another two raves this weekend. One on the Friday, and another on the Saturday. Previously, I have been very uneasy about going to the rave on the Saturday, as I am concerned if I will be too tired and find the commute difficult. I would also accentually be going solo, and unlike other venues, this rave is on a much larger scale.
But, after missing today's Halloween rave, I do not want to miss another. And I do wonder if I will be unable to recollect all my prior concerns and worries after the event. Are these too irrational stresses?
I hope this has been a helpful read. And also, does anyone else feel as though they suffer with irrational concerns, act impulsively with decisions, and struggle with decisions?
(edited 6 months ago)
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