Feeling lonely at uni

I have been at uni for a month and a half. I find that most days im by myself. I dont live with first years, all my flatmates are second/third years. I find it awful and find it dificult to meet people as I do not go clubbing. Any advice?

Reply 1

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

21

Societies.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by artful_lounger

Societies.

I've joined socities but they don't hold any events tbh. All of the people in my seminar groups just go home after.

Reply 3

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

I've joined socities but they don't hold any events tbh. All of the people in my seminar groups just go home after.

Then become a committee member of a society and organise events for them directly.

Reply 4

ActiveEccentric

12

Go to uni societies where you can meet people with common interests. Especially popular ones.

Some people use Umii to make friends. Alternatively, some use online dating apps to make friends.

Original post by Anonymous

I have been at uni for a month and a half. I find that most days im by myself. I dont live with first years, all my flatmates are second/third years. I find it awful and find it dificult to meet people as I do not go clubbing. Any advice?

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it can be difficult to make friends in University, I also struggled with the same issue in first year, and I know many others who are in the same position too.

Whilst your flatmates are in different years to you, feel free to talk to them. Many students know how daunting it is to feel alone at University. There is no rules that you can only hang around people in first year. :smile:

It is true that most people in seminar groups leave right after lessons, perhaps you could move seats around the classroom during different lessons, so you can perhaps have a chance to work with them in group discussions? I find it helps to start a conversation afterwards. :smile:

I do agree with the points about socieites. Perhaps the ones which you have joined are more academic based? I know that they do not host many events. Try going to ones that are more popular (e.g. they have an active social media page that displays their events). This can be quite helpful in making friends.

Perhaps also check out what your student union/ support and wellbeing team offer: there may be buddy schemes where you get paired with another student :biggrin:

. My university offers things like buddies for walking and coffee. Perhaps your University has something similar?

It can be tough trying to find friends at University, and if you ever need it, speak to your University's wellbeing team, I am sure they will be able to help you out (as they also host their own events!)

I hope this helps. :biggrin:

Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by University of Kent

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it can be difficult to make friends in University, I also struggled with the same issue in first year, and I know many others who are in the same position too.

Whilst your flatmates are in different years to you, feel free to talk to them. Many students know how daunting it is to feel alone at University. There is no rules that you can only hang around people in first year. :smile:

It is true that most people in seminar groups leave right after lessons, perhaps you could move seats around the classroom during different lessons, so you can perhaps have a chance to work with them in group discussions? I find it helps to start a conversation afterwards. :smile:

I do agree with the points about socieites. Perhaps the ones which you have joined are more academic based? I know that they do not host many events. Try going to ones that are more popular (e.g. they have an active social media page that displays their events). This can be quite helpful in making friends.

Perhaps also check out what your student union/ support and wellbeing team offer: there may be buddy schemes where you get paired with another student :biggrin:

. My university offers things like buddies for walking and coffee. Perhaps your University has something similar?

It can be tough trying to find friends at University, and if you ever need it, speak to your University's wellbeing team, I am sure they will be able to help you out (as they also host their own events!)

I hope this helps. :biggrin:

Chloe
University of Kent Student Rep

Thank you! I am muslim so I do not go clubbing. I will try your suggestions I just want to know if it gets better because right now i feel so helpless. Is this a common thing?

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you! I am muslim so I do not go clubbing. I will try your suggestions I just want to know if it gets better because right now i feel so helpless. Is this a common thing?

Hi,

Just to add to what my friend Chloe said, there are usually faith based societies you can join. Societies almost always welcome new students and encourage first years to mingle. By joining societies you are interested in, you have some common ground to start getting to know someone so this can help be a bit of an ice breaker.

Another thing I would look out for is to see if your university hosts non-drinking events during the day. For example, my university holds activities like pumpkin carving, UV ping pong and all sorts of things throughout the year!

I am sorry to hear you feel helpless. I cannot say 100% how things will go but usually as the years go by and putting yourself out there you do meet different people. You do not have to stay friends with the first friends you make and that is okay and completely normal.

Do you have any hobbies you want to explore at university? If so is there a society that can help facilitate that?

Good luck and all the best! :smile:

Alia
University of Kent Student Rep

Reply 8

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I have been at uni for a month and a half. I find that most days im by myself. I dont live with first years, all my flatmates are second/third years. I find it awful and find it dificult to meet people as I do not go clubbing. Any advice?

Anon,

What are the people like on your course?

Maybe you can arrange to meet up with someone to study? Maybe you could grab lunch or coffee with someone after your lecture?

Try not to lose heart!

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you! I am muslim so I do not go clubbing. I will try your suggestions I just want to know if it gets better because right now i feel so helpless. Is this a common thing?

Same! Which uni u at?

Original post by Anonymous

I have been at uni for a month and a half. I find that most days im by myself. I dont live with first years, all my flatmates are second/third years. I find it awful and find it dificult to meet people as I do not go clubbing. Any advice?

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time settling in at university.

I would echo what some of the other users have said in this thread. Most universities have faith-based societies that hold events for people of the same religion and culture as you who will understand your culture and beliefs.

Not all socialising has to involve clubbing as I have made plenty of friends by doing simple things such as sitting next to new people in lectures and seminars. As someone has also mentioned, try and socialise with your flatmates too. Although they are from different years, that doesn't mean you won't have things in common and become friends. I've got friends from different years that I've gotten to know through societies and living in student accommodation.

I hope this is of some help and please don't be afraid to reach out to new people!

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd-year Children's Nursing)

Original post by Anonymous

I have been at uni for a month and a half. I find that most days im by myself. I dont live with first years, all my flatmates are second/third years. I find it awful and find it dificult to meet people as I do not go clubbing. Any advice?

Hi there,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way but I've been in a similar situation. I think that the best way is to be proactive with making friends - smile at people in lectures etc and start a casual conversation. Maybe be willing to invite people over for a game night/ movie night. I'm sure that it will work out- just be patient, treat yourself and give it time.

All the best,

Jaz - Cardiff uni rep