Only girl in a 5 person flat in 2nd Year?

I’ve just started looking for houses for second year with a group of friends. I love them, but I’m the only girl in the group and also the only one doing my course (vet med). I’m excited to keep living with them (3 are my current flatmates) but also a bit nervous about the lack of girls and coursemates. Any advice? I’m set on living with this group but feeling a bit anxious.

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Original post by Anonymous

I’ve just started looking for houses for second year with a group of friends. I love them, but I’m the only girl in the group and also the only one doing my course (vet med). I’m excited to keep living with them (3 are my current flatmates) but also a bit nervous about the lack of girls and coursemates. Any advice? I’m set on living with this group but feeling a bit anxious.

Anon,

It's great that you have a found a group of friends that you get on really well with!

I don't think it matters that you are the only one doing vet med, unless you think that the house is going to be noisy all the time because they might not be as busy as you are. If you know that you prefer to work from home, then this could be a problem but if you are fine with working in the library and the house is not too far from the library, then I don't think you being the only one studying vet med should be a problem. You will still get to see each other and it will be easier to arrange things spontaneously e.g. grabbing some takeaway for dinner.

My only concern for you is that I think you could put yourself in a vulnerable situation if one of the guys or more than one of the guys begin to like you, or you begin to like one of them and if the feelings are not reciprocated. Things could become very tense and it could be a very awkward environment. At the moment, you might all get on really and that could seem unimaginable, but I have known it to happen : (

I think if you can live with females then that might be better. You might not have close female friendships at the moment, but you will definitely get to know them better by living together and should hopefully form some good friendships without worrying about girl-guy drama!

Personally, I find it easier to get on with guys than females, but I do think it's helpful to invest in female friendships as I think in the long run, this is better. For example, if your closest friend is a guy then it can be problematic when it comes to relationships e.g. people think that you are a couple when you are not, their girlfriend or your boyfriend becomes jealous or uncomfortable about your close friendship (they think that you must secretly like them) or it becomes difficult when they do become serious about their girlfriend because you feel like your losing your friendship and that you can't share with them or be as close with them as you once were. It can then become awkward with the girlfriend etc... etc...

In short, I think it is wise to be cautious.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Original post by Anonymous

I’ve just started looking for houses for second year with a group of friends. I love them, but I’m the only girl in the group and also the only one doing my course (vet med). I’m excited to keep living with them (3 are my current flatmates) but also a bit nervous about the lack of girls and coursemates. Any advice? I’m set on living with this group but feeling a bit anxious.

Hey there

It all boils down to your preferences tbh. If you think living with guys is alright for you, then of course go for it. Every person will have a different personal opinion on this- some will prefer to have at least 1 other girl and some wouldn't mind at all- so the more you think about it, the more confused you'll get.

You've already said that you're set on living with this group so there's nothing rn that will change that. What you can do for now is wait until you all start living together and see what the situation is like. If everybody does their part of house chores and is comfortable to live with, the fact that they're all boys probably wouldn't even matter. I doubt having coursemates in your house would make your life immensely better in any way. For the last two years, I have lived with people who didn't study my course and we all got along really well. This year one of my housemates is doing the same course and the situation is really no different- we see each other in classes anyway.

The bottom line with all of this is that you get along with those people- if you do, their course and gender wouldn't matter at all :smile:

-Himieka

(edited 5 months ago)

Only girl in a 5 person flat in 2nd Year?

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