dopamine from relationships

I’ve never been in a long term relationship but everytime I’ve met someone new or a man that shows interest in me and the feeling is mutual i get this extreme feeling of dopamine to a point where it feels like a drug and every single one of my problems disappear. Ik it’s not normal idk why I feel like this and why I can’t just feel normal, it’s caused a lot of my past interactions with men to go extremely bad because I get emotionally attached. I haven’t spoken to any guys for two years and within this time I learnt to find peace in solitude and I thought maybe I’m securely attached now. yesterday I went on a date with this guy and all of a sudden it’s all back again, the constant anxiety of will he leave me, the checking messages every 2 seconds, the what if he leaves me. And I just deeped I’ll never actually heal because the second I put myself in a situation where I’m in a relationship the same old habits will come back. I think what really hurt me was that I have a friend who knows him that was telling me about this guys last relationship with his ex and the things they both did together and idk I just felt this deep sadness in me because I’ve never had my first love which means he would view me as a rebound and will constantly think of her. I messaged him and said it won’t work out and deleted him off everything and it’s not about him, it’s the fact that I’m just deeping I’ll never actually experience love because I’ll ruin it and no one will love me. Maybe it’s because it’s 1am so now I feel even more worse and deeping everything. Idk if this is even relatable or if I just sound like I’m insecure or thrive from male validation but I promise it’s far from that. Bro I just feel sad, I’m 22 Ik it’s not that deep but would appreciate if someone was ever in my situation and things changed later on just to give me hope that I’m not always going to be alone and that love isn’t associated with anxiety and huge dopamine hits :frown:

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

20

This is pretty common, I'd say we're all like that to some degree. At least I am - I get a rush every time I like someone and I can sense they like me back and it feels like everything is right with the world. It can be a pretty overpowering feeling but there's nothing wrong with it, unless you start over-analysing things, which I think is what you do. In which case what you need to do is to... stop. Much, much easier said than done but you have to try. Stop checking your phone every two seconds, try to stop bad thoughts and think nice things, go for a walk, distract yourself...

1AM is a pretty terrible time to ponder about your life, so go sleep and never stay up this late to think of how's your life going - 1AM should exclusively be reserved for fun activities or sleep. Philosophising about yourself at this ungodly hour does you no good, you overamplify negative aspects and think not so nice things that aren't true. So if you haven't done so, go get some sleep. A good night's sleep brings a lot of clarity :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Scotland Yard

This is pretty common, I'd say we're all like that to some degree. At least I am - I get a rush every time I like someone and I can sense they like me back and it feels like everything is right with the world. It can be a pretty overpowering feeling but there's nothing wrong with it, unless you start over-analysing things, which I think is what you do. In which case what you need to do is to... stop. Much, much easier said than done but you have to try. Stop checking your phone every two seconds, try to stop bad thoughts and think nice things, go for a walk, distract yourself...

1AM is a pretty terrible time to ponder about your life, so go sleep and never stay up this late to think of how's your life going - 1AM should exclusively be reserved for fun activities or sleep. Philosophising about yourself at this ungodly hour does you no good, you overamplify negative aspects and think not so nice things that aren't true. So if you haven't done so, go get some sleep. A good night's sleep brings a lot of clarity :smile:

Thank you so much, I appreciate this a lot. Overthinking is always worse at night, but I’ve come to the realisation that I’ll only experience these extreme feelings when I’m invested in a man romantically so I just need to stop that for now

dopamine from relationships

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