Best friend being cold and distant :(

I started uni in September and became close with one of my flatmates. We spent a lot of time together, I would definitely consider us each other’s best friends. In this period, if I sent her a text she’d usually reply within an hour and we were pretty happy with things (or so I thought).

However when we both went home for the Christmas holidays (to different parts of the country) I remained a fast replier to texts, while she did not, leaving me 2-4 days between each text (left me on read a lot as well!). I know this probably means she’s struggling with her mental health but it doesn’t exactly leave me feeling great, and she hasn’t explained what her issue is either. I’ve had to double text her multiple times just to get a response… It’s now been 5 days since I’ve heard from her despite my 2 separate texts being left on read. What should I do? Leave it? Or continue pushing for a response? It makes me sad to think that she might be down but also I’m slightly upset because her slow replies makes it feel like she doesn’t care :frown:

I can see that she’s active on Instagram and WhatsApp multiple times a day as well…

Reply 1

TooWeirdToLive

6

It could be that she's feeling down like you say.. even if I'm online (and I'm usually pretty fast at replying) I might not reply due to low energy or I want time to do things I enjoy.

However it could be that's she is catching up with friends and family from home too? I remember university feeling like a bubble.. I'd prioritise uni mates but then once I was home I'd have to make time for those people I'd essentially neglected for the duration..? It's definitely difficult to manage feelings around those times of slow texting... I try to focus on things I've been putting off, live my life more so I forget about it a bit. I end up having more to talk to them about anyways! :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by TooWeirdToLive

It could be that she's feeling down like you say.. even if I'm online (and I'm usually pretty fast at replying) I might not reply due to low energy or I want time to do things I enjoy.

However it could be that's she is catching up with friends and family from home too? I remember university feeling like a bubble.. I'd prioritise uni mates but then once I was home I'd have to make time for those people I'd essentially neglected for the duration..? It's definitely difficult to manage feelings around those times of slow texting... I try to focus on things I've been putting off, live my life more so I forget about it a bit. I end up having more to talk to them about anyways! :smile:

Thanks for your kind reply 🙂

I agree, I think she’s catching up with friends and family from home. Hopefully things will be back to normal again in a week and a half when I’m back at uni.

On the other hand I’m a little nervous that she’s pushing me away on purpose, and I’ve suspected for a while based on her comments that she thinks she’s bad for me (I don’t agree). Do you think I should/could convince her it’s not the case?

Reply 3

TooWeirdToLive

6

Original post by Anonymous #1

Thanks for your kind reply 🙂

I agree, I think she’s catching up with friends and family from home. Hopefully things will be back to normal again in a week and a half when I’m back at uni.

On the other hand I’m a little nervous that she’s pushing me away on purpose, and I’ve suspected for a while based on her comments that she thinks she’s bad for me (I don’t agree). Do you think I should/could convince her it’s not the case?

It's no problem! :smile:

In regards to that.. I suppose it's not something easy to broach through messaging. If that's something she's mentioned, it could be worth covering that when you're both back at university. I find texts leave a lot to the imagination or are easy to misinterpret.. :3

Best friend being cold and distant :(

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