friendship advice

I had gone offline for exams so my phone wasn't switched on so when my closest friends cat died, I wasn't there immediately because I had no idea. I realised that smth was wrong when he responded rudely to an email (where I had no context why he was being rude) and I was like did I hit a nerve and why are you mad (again, i had no clue). this was earlier this week, and of course, as soon as I realised, I sent my condolonces, obviously I care, and I want to make sure he's okay. But he's been cold/distant and I'm sort of just accepting that bc it might be his way of grieving... But then last night, he said smth and I asked what's wrong and he said "nothings wrong, you weren't there when [cat's name] died and i don't want you there when smth is wrong, simple as." and at that point, i just completely shut down bc well, it is my fault, but then it also feels like it isn't. But anyways, idk what to do?!?!

It's not your fault at all for turning your phone off during an exam. And from what you said as soon as you realised you changed your behaviour to try to comfort him. Let him cool off for a bit and if he's still being rude after a few weeks then re-evaluate the friendship.

no no i turned it off prior to the exams, so i could revise, i turned it off and told him that i went offline two days before his cat died but it was to help me revise.