is my friend narcissistic or am I overreacting?

I have a friend I met 5 years ago. She helped me a lot at first because I was new to town and she included me in her group of friends. But for a while I’ve had an odd feeling about her.

She’s basically like always cheerful and overly happy, to the point where it comes across a bit fake. She also self-proclaimed herself as the leader of our friend group and is always making plans and group chats for literally anything. I’ve noticed plans barely get off the ground if she’s not the one who makes them. Also, how dare anyone outgrow the group and try to find different friends. They’re always the bad guy in her eyes and she’s out there making meetings to discuss the fact so and so decided to not hang out with us anymore.

But it gets weirder. She seems like she has a selective memory or something. I’ve told her multiple things about certain things about me, and she acts like she forgot. For instance, I told her please not to post pictures with me on Instagram because I don’t like to have my pictures out there. What does she do? She posts a picture where I’m right there in the front. I message her and she takes like an hour to take it down… I think she did this more than once actually… She also keeps telling me “merry xmas” despite the fact that she knows I’m not Christian and don’t celebrate it (newsflash: some ppl don’t actually celebrate Xmas… crazy ik).

But what really just tipped the scale was that she posted about something that I took some offense to, I dmd her about it explaining why and she literally didn’t open my message for a week (this is rare in her, I also saw her posting other stuff). She then randomly sends me a snap, I don’t open it because yeah. And then a week and a day later she calls me to invite me to go to the shopping centre. Like whut??

‘Hiii’
‘Umm hi’
*laughing* ‘Are you busy or something?’
‘Umm no… did you need something?’
‘No I was just wondering if you want to go shopping with me?’

That’s how the beginning of the conversation went basically. Then I tell her I don’t want to go hang out with her, because I don’t understand how she ignores me for a week when I tell her something she posted was offensive to me. She says like ‘oh yeah I just didn’t how to respond to that…” Okay so you think ghosting me and then inviting me to go shopping is gonna fix that? It’s so odd because it seems like she has no self awareness. To summarize, she did sort of apologize but I don’t think she took a lot of responsibility and instead said like ‘oh I had no idea you felt that way’ etc. etc.

Then we talked about the fact that I had recently also mentioned to her I didn’t feel so comfortable going out with her and the other people because we don’t have anything in common anymore and I feel like we’re outgrowing each other. She mentioned she didn’t know about the fact I don’t like to do a bunch of stuff. Like in 5 years she had no idea of what I like/don’t like to do. Maybe I just never talked about it much but I thought she knew me better than that… she just kind of evaded the fact that I was telling her maybe I don’t want to keep being friends with her. Anyways, the conversation ended by saying ‘you’re still welcome to come today if you want.” Like ummm.

Even though she did apologize in what seemed the best way she could, the conversation still let me with a weird feeling and I don’t know if it honestly might be time to actually let this friendship go.

After reading this, I can say that if a person does not value you as a friend, does not cherish your friendship, and does everything to spite you. Is such a friendship really necessary then? I think the answer is obvious. You deserve to be treated better.)