i rotted my potential away

i used rot A LOT but suddenly i became outgoing and talk to many people, have many friends too, i started going out a lot, i got into a relationship too, everything was good, perfect actually. i'm not sure why but something just grew inside me and i became weirdly introverted, i dont have any friends now, my life is just the complete opposite of what it used to be and i'm back to square 1 but even on "square 1" i had friends lmao, but anyway i used to read, go on walks for fun, i just rot now, i try to go out once a day because i know if i dont its so weird but i just feel out of touch for some reason, like i need to or else i just feel irritated, i want a job but its hard no one accepts me i dont know how to perfect my CV without experience. i want hobbies i want to go back to how i was well no i just want to better myself, someone i considered a good friend told me they dont ask me to go out with them because i dont have a job they got a job because of their relatives i dont have close relatives to do that for me. i used to have acne too the same person said to me do i even wash my face they most likely forgot they said that to me but as soon as i started getting clear skin they'd ask for tips ect. i have acne again and we saw eachother after a while (i had clear skin the last time they saw me) and they were just trying to dig at me telling me i pick at my skin thats why it got bad when i dont its just redness im just prone to redness after the actual spot goes away lol.

We could chat but voice makes a difference