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If your first year flat didn't get on?

My flatmates don't really get on. I want to ask second and third years how they found uni if they didn't get on with their flatmates? Any advice on making friends outside the flat, housing options, etc?

Reply 1

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post by CocaColaTshirt

Hey there @CocaColaTshirt !

I can help with this as I've been through exactly that. My first year flatmates didn't get on and I couldn't see myself living with any of them in second year as half of them weren't sociable and the other half had dropped out by Christmas. For second year I went back into halls and applied privately. I loved my second year flatmates and we got on so well, however because I went back into halls and went private, my flat was full of third years who obviously chose it because they didn't want to be in flats full of first years, not that there's anything wrong with that. So obviously they were all graduating at the end of the year and I was back to square one. I don't regret going back in to halls for second year at all as I had so much fun, it just meant at the end of the year I had no one to live with in third year. It could be a good option for you if you're unsure where to go next. If you apply privately you can book a flat with more similar people to yourself if you wanted.

Luckily, for third year I had an optional sandwich course route so I told my friends to just sort themselves out rather than waiting for me because I was unsure what I was doing. I was going to keep looking, however they were very difficult to get so it was looking unlikely. My backup option was to find a house share. You can usually find these on university Facebook groups by posting what sort of housemates you're looking for and then usually someone will respond or you can reply to other people's posts. In the end I found a placement really last minute so had to get a last minute 1 bed to live by myself for third year. It was fine because I was living really close to my friends and am basically round there every night anyway. I wouldn't recommend doing this with no friends in your area and no one else around to support you as you may get really lonely and it's 10x more expensive to live by yourself. For my final year, I have a friend who's still got one more year left on her course and we found two other people on the Facebook groups that were trying to find more people to live with so it's really worked out well for my final year. It's important to not give up with stuff like this because it does always work out for you in the end.

In terms of making friends, I just made sure I really pushed things with my coursemates. I was finding we all got on really well but barely did anything outside of lectures. So I decided to push for it that little bit more and make the first move to solidify those friendships and it really worked out. I chat to them almost every day even though they're a year ahead of me now I'm on placement and I started things off by setting up a course groupchat and starting off conversations. You've got to be willing to put in the effort and say yes to more things. That's another way I've found making friends successful is by saying yes to more things because that way you get introduced to more people and find yourself in more social settings. Meeting people through mutual friends is one of the best ways to expand your friendship circle and the best way to do that is do things with your current friends socially.

Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU

Reply 2

CardiffUni Rep

Official Rep

Original post by CocaColaTshirt

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear about this! I think it's more common than you think and I was in a similar situation. I also had a really low budget that didn't work for a lot of my friends so I actually ended up living with a friend that I'd met on YouTube (no joke). I think that it's just being open and asking around friends, then doing your due diligence to ensure that these are people that you actually want to live with.

I hope that you find something you're happy with.

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep

Reply 3

Heriot-Watt Uni

Official Rep

Original post by CocaColaTshirt

Hi!

Loads of people go through this so don't feel alone - ending up getting along perfectly with 4/5 people you randomly got put in a flat with doesn't always work 🙂

As for housing, you've got loads of options! If you want to rent privately and go for an apartment you can always do this alone however if you want to do it with others (which I'd advise) you can start asking people on your course/society if they need anyone to live with next year. If you don't fancy bringing this up to people in person maybe send a message on a group chat if you have them.

Otherwise, you could always do private student accommodation (not university-owned) which will be a similar set-up to first-year accommodation. You'll share a kitchen with around 5 people and have a private room and en-suite. This is rolling the dice again with who you get but you might meet some really great people or if not all you have to deal with is sharing a kitchen.

Or, some universities let students stay in student accommodation for their second year if they want to. You may be put in a flat with people in their first year to last year of university so your experiences might be a little different but that might be nice. If you like the set-up you have now it's something to think about.

For making friends, just start chatting to people on your course if you can. It's really nice to meet people there as you have at least one shared interest straight away. If not societies, I know everyone says it but that's because it really does work!

I hope this helps a little and if you have any more questions please feel free to ask!

- Jessica
2nd year, Computer Science (Artificial Intelligence)

Reply 4

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by CocaColaTshirt

Hi there,

Sorry to hear that it hasn't worked well with your first year flat. I think the best way to make friends outside the flat is through societies and events. If you join societies that you are interested in, you will find other people who are interested in similar things and therefore you are likely to make friends.

I hope this helps,

Ellen
Y4 Medical Student
Uni of Sunderland