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English first language creative writing feedback request

Hi, I'm doing my igcses and would like to know what i would get out of 40 for this draft story I wrote. My exams in 2 days, pls give me some crisp feedback along with a grade.

Shades of thought: The yellow POV

On that day, after what seemed like a never-ending avalanche of work, I finally returned home. I layed on my couch for a moment of solace before the grouching of my stomach was too irritating and I was forced to forage like hunters back before Christ, the god my mother insists will solve all her problems for her existed. Ofcourse, it was only for terror to gag me as I was faced with the emptiness of my fridge that now accompanied my heart which was in a chilligly similar state.

Grabbing my keys and sliding on my grey coat, I set of to the nearest convenience store. On the road, I encountered an unexpected sight of a cat who was giving birth to her child ... squish. It was an ant ... whose blood now stained my boots but will fade away soon as I keep walking. "The finite nature of life is quite the let down", I mumble glancing at the innocent baby kitten, knowing it will also cease to exist in a few years.

I walked faster, feeling as though the acid in my gut was also evaporating into thin air like life's bad habit. However, curiosity created a canopy over my hunger as I noticed a woman shedding tears, her eyes were mimiking a rusted faucet. She was on the phone, her hands shivering due to the cold or something else entirely. "You promised me you will love me till death do us apart, Max!", she yelled. People yell when they subconsciously think the other person is not listening; my mom did so too when I refused her matchmaking services. The reason? To love is to burn, for which the evidence was the sight before me at that time.

When I was just a few feet away from the store, the great old tree of this downtown part of the city cought my eye. For atleast a hundred streets away from here there was no bark longer and stronger than this one. Unfortunately, it has been barren for millenia. Under this tree, layed an old man, who gave off the impression of a begger. He wore an odd yellow curtain-like cloth wrapped around his waist and shoulders and next to him was a tin box with a few pennies. His skin dark brown, blending with the bark he sat against. It made me think of what a meager existence he was while other humans like him were staying up all night in search of riches.

Passing by him swiftly, I entered the store and bought my usual mayo sandwich which struck me as a stark contrast to the stale peace of loaf the old man was just about to finish. A fleeting and solemn compassion raided me and I decided to give the poor man half of sandwich. He looked baffled in a good way and insisted me to sit down beside him.

"How was your day today, good man?" He asked, as he smiled and put his hand over my shoulder. I don't know why but at that point, something in me decided to use this opportunity to babble gibberish about all the events of today and my journey to this store to him. I stopped as I got to the point of meeting him in my story and checked hesitantly for his reaction. Was that too much? To my surprise, he was wide-eyed and holding back chukles.

"My good man, I believe the solution to your problem is a new set of clothes!" he exclaimed has he eyed my outfit (Black pants, black shirt and a grey coat), "Screw monotonous, give yellow a try!", he said pinching at his own clothing.

Confused, I tried to ask him what he meant but he was already up and stepping forward and away. He looked back and for a second I mistook that he was looking back at the box of pennies he left behind. When actually it was the tree above me he was gazing upon. "Ah! It's finally getting back its colour." He stated in awe, "Goodbye then."

When he was out of sight I looked up to find tiny yellow buds, burning brightly into my eyes, fluttering in and out of sight as the wind howled and quietened. Then I bursted into true laughter for the first time in ages, droplets of tears forming as I exhaust myself wobbling my smiling muscles.

"It seems I've been quite stupid all along", I mumbled beneath my breath as I too stood up and made another journey home. This time, I did so as I wore the goofy yellow glasses that I now own.