Possessiveness

How to overcome possessiveness in relationship if the other partner is not willing to understand my concerns even for the sake of pure love that I do with that one? Should I move on? Serious help needed if anyone face this situation!

Reply 1

Surnia

20

More context needed. Who is being possessive and why?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

More context needed. Who is being possessive and why?

I have a girlfriend and she talks to a male friend as a emotional rollercoaster, I don't like him. I asked her not to but she says 'he is just a friend' and she doesn't share anything what she discuss with him. I don't have any issues if she is having dozens of same gender friends but that's not apply for him. I don't want that she talks to him when I am here all the time for her.

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Possessiveness is flawed, presuming to control what someone does rather than accept they are with you by freewill. There’s a reasonable expectation of fidelity and being treated with respect in a relationship but this doesn’t extend to banning friendships you don’t like. Also from what I’ve seen, and counterintuitively, the best way to hold on to a desirable partner is to be totally non possessive. The more self confident you are, the more attractive it is

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Possessiveness is flawed, presuming to control what someone does rather than accept they are with you by freewill. There’s a reasonable expectation of fidelity and being treated with respect in a relationship but this doesn’t extend to banning friendships you don’t like. Also from what I’ve seen, and counterintuitively, the best way to hold on to a desirable partner is to be totally non possessive. The more self confident you are, the more attractive it is

That's is what I'm asking, how to overcome this flaw give peace to my mind?

Reply 5

greentiger

14

No clue how you can fix that, you just need to take a step back and on incidents you’d usually stress over, force yourself not to. Overtime it’ll help. That’s all I can suggest as it’s not a trait that’s simply ‘fixable’.

Reply 6

Zarek

21

Original post by Anonymous #1

That's is what I'm asking, how to overcome this flaw give peace to my mind?

Not sure, you just have to not act on the emotions you’re feeling and eventually you’ll feel the benefits of a more laid back approach. Easier said than done mind

Reply 7

caffeinewizard

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

How to overcome possessiveness in relationship if the other partner is not willing to understand my concerns even for the sake of pure love that I do with that one? Should I move on? Serious help needed if anyone face this situation!

I know what you are talking about and possessiveness is the wrong word, I would say it's simply a breach of trust on her part and it is very tricky to tackle as there is a fine line between you being controlling, and not being so. I would say best thing is just to talk to her about it, explain why you are annoyed and uncomfortable with the idea without blaming her or making personal attacks, maybe come to some compromise and VERY IMPORTANT, listen to her perspective. If she does not respect your feelings and does not want to listen to you. Calling you jealous etc, Then sorry to break it to you she does not respect you and you probably aren't compatible. Suck it up, break up with her and go to the gym. Find a girl who will respect you and that you respect also. If you want to be a **** about it then give her a taste of her own medicine, find a side girl and talk to her. Maybe will make her see. Good luck.

Reply 8

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous #1

I have a girlfriend and she talks to a male friend as a emotional rollercoaster, I don't like him. I asked her not to but she says 'he is just a friend' and she doesn't share anything what she discuss with him. I don't have any issues if she is having dozens of same gender friends but that's not apply for him. I don't want that she talks to him when I am here all the time for her.

Why don't you like him; do you think being dismissive of him is why your gf doesn't share their conversations with you?

Do you think she should all her time with you? Don't you think that's stifling, living in each other's pocket? Don't you socialise?

Possessiveness

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