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Help: Need Jokes for Comic Relief!!!

venuism

I heard an awful joke today:

The Beach Boys walk into a bar,
"Round?"
"Round?"
"Get a round"
"I get a round?"
"Get a round...."

pahahaha. I know its awful but I sat here giggling to myself for a good 5 minutes.
Rep for you when I can rep again tomorrow!

Reply 41

Squigglexxx

How many dead babies does it take to tile a roof?

Depends how thinly you slice them :smile:

Reply 42

apassingfeeling

17

Luce-eeeee

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

NACHO CHEESE!!

LOL omg.
Amazing

Reply 43

Holdo24

2

I love this thread :laugh:

Reply 44

Instincts_2012

14

There's a god! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA :rofl:

Reply 45

arturo291

Warning! Offensive religious joke! :biggrin:

Why did Jesus walk on water?

What is to hang won't drown.

Reply 46

Mr Snips

17

Luce-eeeee

A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Rude interrupting sheep.
B: Rude interrupting she...
A: BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Reply 47

Easywellyes

1

I went to Blockbusters to borrow "Slumdog Millionaire". When I got home I noticed there was a picture of Jade Goody on the case, so I took it back.

The guy in the shop said "Sorry, I thought you asked for 'Some dog missing hair.'"

Reply 48

Luce-eeeee

1

Mr Snips

I think it's my favorite joke ever :smile:

Reply 49

FallenPetal

15

How do you attract an elephant?
Lie on the ground and make noises like a peanut.

What do you call a fish with no "eyes"?
fsh

What's more dangerous than leaving your infant with Micheal Jackson?
Letting the McCaans take them on holiday.

Reply 50

nigel_s

2

Easywellyes

I went to Blockbusters to borrow "Slumdog Millionaire". When I got home I noticed there was a picture of Jade Goody on the case, so I took it back.

The guy in the shop said "Sorry, I thought you asked for 'Some dog missing hair.'"

Prolly out of date by Comic Relief tbf. :eek:

My favourite joke:

What's grey and can't climb trees?

A car park.

Reply 51

skittlesftw

two cows standing in a field
one cow says to the other "are you worried about this mad cow disease?"
the other replies "why would i be worried, i'm a squirrel!"

What's red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry

What did 8 say to infinity?
Why are you lying down?

lame i know

Reply 52

username165223

What do you call a man with tissue paper trousers?
Russell.

What did the idiot call his zebra?
Spot.

What's red, wobbly and flies?
A jelly-copter.

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.

Why don't dogs make good dancers?
They have two left feet.

Reply 53

Cobbïns31770

9

Why don't aliens eat clowns?
They taste funny. :wink:

Why was the washing machine laughing?
It took the piss out the pants. :tongue:

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car. :rolleyes:

What did one casket say to the other casket?
Is that you coffin? :cool:

Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?" "Don't you start :biggrin:

A man goes to a zoo, when he gets there, there is only one animal to see and it's a dog!
It was a 5hitzu! :redface:

Reply 54

king louie

2

*MJ*

Hi All,

I am running a treasure hunt charity event at my school for Comic Relief.

It is a treasure hunt with a slight twist. We want to try and add some humour so instead of people going out and finding letters, they are going to have jokes and go around the school trying to find answers to them.

So please can I can some good short jokes for the treasure hunt.

You will be helping a good cause... :smile:

(This is why I shall provide Rep for people will good jokes)

Thanks... :woo:

whats brown and sticky....

A stick

Whats a shareks favourite meal....

fish and ships

whats ET short for?....

because hes got little legs.

Why is a pirate called a pirate....

because they arrrrrrrrrrr

:smile:

will that do you

*closes worlds worst joke book