Dear best friends.
This is quite a difficult letter to write. I feel like I've missed one of you, but miss the other one more, and it probably shouldn't have worked out that way. I feel drawn to you in a way I shouldn't - you're hot and fiery and yet cool, calm, collected - everyone wants a piece of you but they can't because you're just you, everywhere and everything, but unique and wonderful. What have you turned me into? I can't even remember what I used to be like anymore! That scares the hell outta me, you know? I should be used to this, I've moved hands a lot since I was a kid, but you just sprang up outta nowhere and made me this being that I don't really recognise any more. And that scares me. I love it - I love our days together, our jokes, your caring ability, the way you made me confident, more carefree - and yet that bespectacled, quiet girl inside me that rolled up on the first day we met still says hang fire a sec - this one's a loose cannon - Don't let her take everything you really are.
And I want to say sorry to you, the other lady in my life - which is odd, because now I reminisce its all I seem to have ever done...
We've been through a lot - and I miss you dear, I miss you terribly. It doesn't feel mutual though, and that scares me a little bit. Can you help me get through this? I feel like a comic book character - split by the hours of the clock - ripping in two by the polarised personalities of a pair of the funniest, caring and most brilliant people I've ever met.
I need to figure out where to turn. North or South.
Right or wrong.
You, or you.