How old are you if you don't mind me asking? So I'm a *few* years younger than you, a little bit younger than you, but once you reach past about 13, height and BMI become more important than age!
I feel like nothing looks flattering when I try things on and also I stupidly don't want to buy bigger sizes if you know what I mean.I totally understand - occasionally I feel embarrassed about buying clothes that are bigger - even though sometimes I do want to buy clothes lots of size bigger (I've bought size 12 jumpers before now - sooo cozy!). If you feel like you're being judged, honestly you are not! Some of my friends work in clothes shops and the first thing they've told me is that they don't really notice who is buying the clothes, or what clothes they are buying!
I kind of feel like I shouldn't be that size if that makes sense. Honestly, your size right now is really healthy, natural and normal. There's nothing to be ashamed of about it!
I even discounted some clothes that I would previously have liked cause I thought I wasn't skinny enough to look good in it anymore.I've had this, honestly, and I think most people have. One of my friends bought a size 4 skirt, and I really liked it, so I bought a size 8 (in a different colour so we wouldn't have exactly the same!) and was worried it wouldn't look good on me.
And, even if I say so myself, I looked great! You can always look good in everything, however short, tall, skinny, or not skinny, you are! You just need to feel confidence. I bought a long skirt recently - I have always been not-so-keen on long things because I always thought I looked silly in them because I was short, but really, it also looked fine, because I plucked up the courage to go out and it felt great! Once you have the confidence, you'll look fab in anything!
what worries me as well: that because the other girls will be younger they're even more likely to be thinner!I know how you must be feeling, but seriously, please don't! Even if you look young for your age, if you've got into uni and you're doing a course you enjoy, no one really cares what you look like. My sister goes to a very prestigious uni, and she says that although people do turn up looking smart, there are very few really skinny people there because they're focusing on their essays and dissertations rather than how they look, and everyone respects each-other however they look because they all know how hard they've worked to get there. Just keep remembering that everyone is a different person, has different backgrounds, habits, priorities and worries, so don't fret about it. Remember that they are a different age!!! It doesn't matter if they are thinner than you, as you are aware, being really skinny isn't always healthy! If you do fret about it, it is likely to detract from your degree. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry about it - don't worry if you look the same age or are a different size, you are beautiful and clever anyway, so who cares what they look like?
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Do you have any advice on how to be more confident and happy with the body shape I have?I had loads of inseccuritites when I was twelve and thirteen, and still do occaissionally go through periods of hating myself and my body (which I recognise everyone goes through at some points in their lives, especially women in a culture where we are constantly told size 0 is beautiful). However, things that I have done and found successful to help me feel better about myself are:
=> start complimenting yourself - sounds weird but it does help
=> start noticing things about yourself that you like
=> start believing compliments you get from other people - it takes time, but stop deconstruction what they
might mean in your head and just realise that
they actually do like that thing about you => Realise that you are not judging other people, and seeing as you aren't judging them, they probably aren't judging you.
=> start complimenting
other people
=> compliment yourself and other people on things OTHER than appearance - eg
"I think you're really kind" or
"you're so fast thinking" or
"wow, I'm really good at cheering people up!" => do something different with your hair - whether this be a haircut, or dying it, or even just curling it or doing a different hairstyle. It sounds weird - but I and a few of my friend have had our hair cut (some have had a pixie cut, others have had bobs, I went for just above my shoulders) and it really makes you stand tall and feel different!
I think if several people on here have called me fat then what's everyone else thinking.Well, several people are unkind, inconsiderate, unhelpful, wrong, and very misguided. Most people on here have been concerned about your wellbeing. I have only been called fat, (except by myself and as a joke between me and my best friend) and that was by a teenage boy in a park when I was twelve and climbing a tree, and it really wrecked my life until I realised that it didn't matter. What most people will be thinking when they see you are
"oh, there's a person", a few might think
"oh, that's a pretty person" and once they get to know you they'll probably think
"Oh, that's a really nice, clever, pretty person." . What other people think really doesn't matter, but they're probably thinking that you are really cool - both in appearance and other ways too!
I just worry about other girls judging me.Don't. Really just don't. Three reasons. One, they might not be judging you. Two, if they are, they might be judging you fairly and thinking that you're another human being, with complex thought patterns and a nice figure. And three, it doesn't matter what they think, it's what you think and feel that matters.
Also what guys think because I do want to be able to get into a relationship at uni. That's okay. But being thin doesn't make you attractive. Being size 8/10 doesn't make you unattractive. My friend in a relationship, has been for three months, she's the same age as you and a size 10, and her relationship is one of the most stable I've ever seen. Obviously, the first impression you give someone is important, but if you want a good relationship, it'll be based on a lot more than what you look like. That being said, it is important to highlight that size 8/10 is not unattractive (not that any size is
actually unattractive but most people, who conform to society's opinions of attractiveness do not find size 8/10 attractive).
Finally, I feel I should say that when I say "a couple of years younger than you" I'm actually 15. However, I have learned a lot about body confidence and overcoming insecurities over the past few years, and I honestly hope all the stuff I've written should be helpful to you! Anyway, I really hope it has been. Good luck with all your endeavours. Please stay healthy, and awesome