I'm at University and I have absolutely no friends, What should I do?
As the title says I'm a first year university student and I havn't made any friends at all yet, most people have gone home for Christmas but, I have to stay at Uni (I have a job here) which makes it even more lonely. Also my granddad had a heart attack and died a few days ago, even though everyone in our family knew he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the year (he's been ill for a while), it's still hit us hard. The first month or so at University was great, I was going out, I thought I was making friends, my social life felt great, as it turns out those "friends" I thought I had were only accquaintances and whilst everyone become closer and made friendship groups, I became more and more isolated. Now I can't even start a conversation or talk to someone without feeling awkward and alienated unless, I've had some alcohol to make me more relaxed. I just feel so socially awkward around people, I do my best to be friendly and accomodating yet, people never really engage in conversation with me. For example, one of my flatmates never says anything besides one-word answers to my questions or the occaisonal sarcastic comment about myself or my course (I do Pyscology, He does Engineering and he thinks Pys is a "doss" subject). I got on with my other flatmates at first but, they all go out and do things without me, even when I ask them if I can go to a flat party or hang out with them, they make an excuse like "You havn't been invited", on more than one occaison they've blatently lied when in fact they were going out. Also people have started deciding who they want to live with next year, I have no idea who I'll live with as I have no close friends, soon people will start looking for flats and I'll have no one to live with, I have no idea what I'll do next year, if I live by myself I'll feel like I've failed socially and I'll just be more miserable. I've tried joining clubs and societies but, the people there are all second and third year students, on my course everyone just goes home after lectures as we usually have one lecture or tutorial per day, then we're expected to go to the library to do reading or work on our assignments or go to labs or whatever. I just wish I was part of a friendship group and that I had friends, Uni is supposed to be the time of your life, for me it was until November then somehow, suddenly things turned to 
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Same situation. Dunno what the hell has happened. December just went down hill. Feel lonely despite having many acquaintances, problem being everyone seems closer to each other than they are to me. The housing situation for next year is worrying me! 
Anonymous
As the title says I'm a first year university student and I havn't made any friends at all yet, most people have gone home for Christmas but, I have to stay at Uni (I have a job here) which makes it even more lonely. Also my granddad had a heart attack and died a few days ago, even though everyone in our family knew he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the year (he's been ill for a while), it's still hit us hard. The first month or so at University was great, I was going out, I thought I was making friends, my social life felt great, as it turns out those "friends" I thought I had were only accquaintances and whilst everyone become closer and made friendship groups, I became more and more isolated. Now I can't even start a conversation or talk to someone without feeling awkward and alienated unless, I've had some alcohol to make me more relaxed. I just feel so socially awkward around people, I do my best to be friendly and accomodating yet, people never really engage in conversation with me. For example, one of my flatmates never says anything besides one-word answers to my questions or the occaisonal sarcastic comment about myself or my course (I do Pyscology, He does Engineering and he thinks Pys is a "doss" subject). I got on with my other flatmates at first but, they all go out and do things without me, even when I ask them if I can go to a flat party or hang out with them, they make an excuse like "You havn't been invited", on more than one occaison they've blatently lied when in fact they were going out. Also people have started deciding who they want to live with next year, I have no idea who I'll live with as I have no close friends, soon people will start looking for flats and I'll have no one to live with, I have no idea what I'll do next year, if I live by myself I'll feel like I've failed socially and I'll just be more miserable. I've tried joining clubs and societies but, the people there are all second and third year students, on my course everyone just goes home after lectures as we usually have one lecture or tutorial per day, then we're expected to go to the library to do reading or work on our assignments or go to labs or whatever. I just wish I was part of a friendship group and that I had friends, Uni is supposed to be the time of your life, for me it was until November then somehow, suddenly things turned to
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
our friendship may not be real, but its still imaginary
and im really ****** on ibuprofen so dont listen to me.
My grandad became blind because of an operation going wrong. it was to fix his kneee - yeah very wrong.
Why do you feel awkward? before you can make friends with people, you need to be your own friend! why should they want to be your friend, when you clearly dont think very much of yourself. gain some confdence, volunteer in your spare time - that always makes people become more confident, and you'll make friends through it too
or maybe something else that you reckon will build up your own self esteem, what you think about yourself, because when you gain that respect for yourself, you will be able put yourself forward confidently and make friends more easilly. i know you want believe this but i do know how to use comma's i just am not using them correctly atm because im all happy go drowsy on ibuprofen. Anyway, about this flat issue, your flatmates are d1cks, untill next year when you get to live with some other less penile people you should dissasociate yourself with them, get closer to people at work if possible, join a sport teamy typy thingy thats like meant to bring peopel together and make them more confident etc etc. Put ads up and stuff for getting a flat next year. Try and boost your confidence and your social circle and keep your head down for the rest of the year - prepare yourself for the new you that you will become in the next year. You will have a new set of flatmates who you can get close to and you will have become more confident and made friends through other extra cirricular activities that you have started. im not making sense, but im trying my best, my tummy feels like an aborted feotus so please just nod and stare as though i am making sense. societes and clubs dont really put you in a position where you can befriend people properly so join a sportsy team. or Volunteer, you can make friends with volunteers im a volunteer - we could become friends! itr will be awesome. do you know whhat, you could be in a worse position where you are a girland have to put up with so much pain when you are boiling strawberries. At this point, if I am honest, I am not sure what I have said or not said... Uni must suck for you at the moment You're not alone i will be by your side, you know I'll take your hand when it gets cold And it feels like the end there's no place to go you know I won't give in, no I won't give in keep holding on'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through just stay strong
and i dont know the rest of the songgggggggggggg.
look im sorry that i am not helping. Your right University is meant to be the time of yourself, and no one can condemn you for circumstances that were beyond your control. You havent failed soccially, because the dynamics of our societal interactions are so damn fragile if you dont make that one swift move at that exact moment your
to azkaban and back.maybe when im not so drunk on painkillers I might find this thread and attempt an honest reply.
today is not that day
hermyx
Hi there,
I felt exactly the same at this point in my first year. Life feels really tough right now, I know. I was never the most social person in the world and at college had a close group of 7 or 8 people, none of whom moved onto university with me. At first I felt like I was really making friends, but then by Christmas things seemed to have petered off.
You're doing a lot of good things to help yourself towards a more productive social life. Did you stick at the societies you were at? Don't let the fact that none of your year were there; Age doesn't matter so much once you get to university.
Are you close to anyone on your course?
Other than that, all I can suggest is to keep trying hun. Keep going out and doing things. Talk to people. Engage with people who you're not that close with - Invite them for a drink after lectures, maybe? Try and foster new friendships rather than drag along ones that clearly aren't working.
Also; Don't panic over not having somewhere to live. Sometimes, moving in with strangers is the best move you can make! Some of my old flatmates, strangers I moved in with, are now my best friends.
I felt exactly the same at this point in my first year. Life feels really tough right now, I know. I was never the most social person in the world and at college had a close group of 7 or 8 people, none of whom moved onto university with me. At first I felt like I was really making friends, but then by Christmas things seemed to have petered off.
You're doing a lot of good things to help yourself towards a more productive social life. Did you stick at the societies you were at? Don't let the fact that none of your year were there; Age doesn't matter so much once you get to university.
Are you close to anyone on your course?
Other than that, all I can suggest is to keep trying hun. Keep going out and doing things. Talk to people. Engage with people who you're not that close with - Invite them for a drink after lectures, maybe? Try and foster new friendships rather than drag along ones that clearly aren't working.
Also; Don't panic over not having somewhere to live. Sometimes, moving in with strangers is the best move you can make! Some of my old flatmates, strangers I moved in with, are now my best friends.
hayyleyy
Well what went wrong with the people you started going out with at the beginning of the year? Why did you become only an acquaintance?
Now I feel like everyone thinks I'm a social weirdo, I dunno just weird things every now and again, maybe I'm just being paranoid.
You're clearly capable of making friends, something just went wrong. If you can socialise when you drink you have the skills to socialise sober. You just have to conquer the awkwardness you feel. YOU need to do something to change things. Its not too late. Reach out and tell someone friendly how you feel and they might invite you out and take it from there. Do something to change things instead of staying unhappy.
I had a similar experience when I went to uni. Things weren't going great with my flatmates or other people living in the same building. I went home for Christmas feeling a bit unsure about everything. When I got back in January I made an effort to start to get really involved with the sports club I'd joined in September and slowly started to build up friendships through that. There was also one girl I knew on my course that I got on well with and I made an effort building up that friendship. Now I'm in third year and quite content with my social life. Proper friendships take time to form, you just have to be patient.
So yeah, what ever you do, don't lock yourself in your room and get overly depressed over the fact that things aren't going so great at the moment. Go out there and make an effort to meet people. Like 'ipulledhermione' said in her ramble, joining a sports club rather than a society might be a better idea as it, in general, brings people closer each other as you're usually working towards a goal together. Team spirit and all that. Volunteering would also be another good option, or getting a part time job. And try to talk to people on your course as well.
So yeah, what ever you do, don't lock yourself in your room and get overly depressed over the fact that things aren't going so great at the moment. Go out there and make an effort to meet people. Like 'ipulledhermione' said in her ramble, joining a sports club rather than a society might be a better idea as it, in general, brings people closer each other as you're usually working towards a goal together. Team spirit and all that. Volunteering would also be another good option, or getting a part time job. And try to talk to people on your course as well.
Smeee
You need to get out of this negative cycle and get out there to meet people. Join societies and clubs, strike up conversations with people in lectures.
my finances (Well I have money from my job, so I can afford to spend a bit more on my social life IMO)Incidentally, what university do you go to?
Anonymous
As the title says I'm a first year university student and I havn't made any friends at all yet, most people have gone home for Christmas but, I have to stay at Uni (I have a job here) which makes it even more lonely. Also my granddad had a heart attack and died a few days ago, even though everyone in our family knew he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the year (he's been ill for a while), it's still hit us hard. The first month or so at University was great, I was going out, I thought I was making friends, my social life felt great, as it turns out those "friends" I thought I had were only accquaintances and whilst everyone become closer and made friendship groups, I became more and more isolated. Now I can't even start a conversation or talk to someone without feeling awkward and alienated unless, I've had some alcohol to make me more relaxed. I just feel so socially awkward around people, I do my best to be friendly and accomodating yet, people never really engage in conversation with me. For example, one of my flatmates never says anything besides one-word answers to my questions or the occaisonal sarcastic comment about myself or my course (I do Pyscology, He does Engineering and he thinks Pys is a "doss" subject). I got on with my other flatmates at first but, they all go out and do things without me, even when I ask them if I can go to a flat party or hang out with them, they make an excuse like "You havn't been invited", on more than one occaison they've blatently lied when in fact they were going out. Also people have started deciding who they want to live with next year, I have no idea who I'll live with as I have no close friends, soon people will start looking for flats and I'll have no one to live with, I have no idea what I'll do next year, if I live by myself I'll feel like I've failed socially and I'll just be more miserable. I've tried joining clubs and societies but, the people there are all second and third year students, on my course everyone just goes home after lectures as we usually have one lecture or tutorial per day, then we're expected to go to the library to do reading or work on our assignments or go to labs or whatever. I just wish I was part of a friendship group and that I had friends, Uni is supposed to be the time of your life, for me it was until November then somehow, suddenly things turned to
This was pretty much like my first year at university. I went back into halls the next year and it worked out well.
It doesnt matter if someone is a second or third year student, either.
ShinySideUp
Hi there,
I felt exactly the same at this point in my first year. Life feels really tough right now, I know. I was never the most social person in the world and at college had a close group of 7 or 8 people, none of whom moved onto university with me. At first I felt like I was really making friends, but then by Christmas things seemed to have petered off.
I felt exactly the same at this point in my first year. Life feels really tough right now, I know. I was never the most social person in the world and at college had a close group of 7 or 8 people, none of whom moved onto university with me. At first I felt like I was really making friends, but then by Christmas things seemed to have petered off.
You're doing a lot of good things to help yourself towards a more productive social life. Did you stick at the societies you were at? Don't let the fact that none of your year were there; Age doesn't matter so much once you get to university.
I'm planning to go to more societies, especially the more social ones and I'm trying to join one or two sports teams if it's not too late.
Are you close to anyone on your course?
There's people in tutorials I talk to but, they arn't really friends as such. Other than that I have no friends in my course.
Other than that, all I can suggest is to keep trying hun. Keep going out and doing things. Talk to people. Engage with people who you're not that close with - Invite them for a drink after lectures, maybe? Try and foster new friendships rather than drag along ones that clearly aren't working.
Also; Don't panic over not having somewhere to live. Sometimes, moving in with strangers is the best move you can make! Some of my old flatmates, strangers I moved in with, are now my best friends.
Also; Don't panic over not having somewhere to live. Sometimes, moving in with strangers is the best move you can make! Some of my old flatmates, strangers I moved in with, are now my best friends.
Anonymous
It makes me feel better that I know someone has been in my situation before, Thanks
In the three societies I go to one of them we all meet up at the pub afterwards and it's really social, I feel like I've made friends there although none of them are Freshers. In the second one, people come and go sporadically and I've not made any friendships. In the third one, there are freshers although I've not made any friends.
I'm planning to go to more societies, especially the more social ones and I'm trying to join one or two sports teams if it's not too late.
I've made accquaintances in my tutorials but, no real friendships. At first I felt like I was close with a couple of girls who just randomly sat with me in our first lecture and we went out alot, then after Halloween they just seemed cold and they didn't really talk to me.
There's people in tutorials I talk to but, they arn't really friends as such. Other than that I have no friends in my course.
Thanks
In the three societies I go to one of them we all meet up at the pub afterwards and it's really social, I feel like I've made friends there although none of them are Freshers. In the second one, people come and go sporadically and I've not made any friendships. In the third one, there are freshers although I've not made any friends.
I'm planning to go to more societies, especially the more social ones and I'm trying to join one or two sports teams if it's not too late.
I've made accquaintances in my tutorials but, no real friendships. At first I felt like I was close with a couple of girls who just randomly sat with me in our first lecture and we went out alot, then after Halloween they just seemed cold and they didn't really talk to me.
There's people in tutorials I talk to but, they arn't really friends as such. Other than that I have no friends in my course.
Thanks
You're welcome. If you need to chat, drop me a line. I'm a good shoulder to cry on. :P
elisabethbridge
I had a similar experience when I went to uni. Things weren't going great with my flatmates or other people living in the same building. I went home for Christmas feeling a bit unsure about everything. When I got back in January I made an effort to start to get really involved with the sports club I'd joined in September and slowly started to build up friendships through that. There was also one girl I knew on my course that I got on well with and I made an effort building up that friendship. Now I'm in third year and quite content with my social life. Proper friendships take time to form, you just have to be patient.
So yeah, what ever you do, don't lock yourself in your room and get overly depressed over the fact that things aren't going so great at the moment. Go out there and make an effort to meet people. Like 'ipulledhermione' said in her ramble, joining a sports club rather than a society might be a better idea as it, in general, brings people closer each other as you're usually working towards a goal together. Team spirit and all that. Volunteering would also be another good option, or getting a part time job. And try to talk to people on your course as well.
So yeah, what ever you do, don't lock yourself in your room and get overly depressed over the fact that things aren't going so great at the moment. Go out there and make an effort to meet people. Like 'ipulledhermione' said in her ramble, joining a sports club rather than a society might be a better idea as it, in general, brings people closer each other as you're usually working towards a goal together. Team spirit and all that. Volunteering would also be another good option, or getting a part time job. And try to talk to people on your course as well.
It's either your fault, their fault, or both. Find the problem and resolve it!
I'm a second year student with no friends. Beat that.
Wall of text crits you for over 9000.
Anonymous
As the title says I'm a first year university student and I havn't made any friends at all yet, most people have gone home for Christmas but, I have to stay at Uni (I have a job here) which makes it even more lonely. Also my granddad had a heart attack and died a few days ago, even though everyone in our family knew he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the year (he's been ill for a while), it's still hit us hard. The first month or so at University was great, I was going out, I thought I was making friends, my social life felt great, as it turns out those "friends" I thought I had were only accquaintances and whilst everyone become closer and made friendship groups, I became more and more isolated. Now I can't even start a conversation or talk to someone without feeling awkward and alienated unless, I've had some alcohol to make me more relaxed. I just feel so socially awkward around people, I do my best to be friendly and accomodating yet, people never really engage in conversation with me. For example, one of my flatmates never says anything besides one-word answers to my questions or the occaisonal sarcastic comment about myself or my course (I do Pyscology, He does Engineering and he thinks Pys is a "doss" subject). I got on with my other flatmates at first but, they all go out and do things without me, even when I ask them if I can go to a flat party or hang out with them, they make an excuse like "You havn't been invited", on more than one occaison they've blatently lied when in fact they were going out. Also people have started deciding who they want to live with next year, I have no idea who I'll live with as I have no close friends, soon people will start looking for flats and I'll have no one to live with, I have no idea what I'll do next year, if I live by myself I'll feel like I've failed socially and I'll just be more miserable. I've tried joining clubs and societies but, the people there are all second and third year students, on my course everyone just goes home after lectures as we usually have one lecture or tutorial per day, then we're expected to go to the library to do reading or work on our assignments or go to labs or whatever. I just wish I was part of a friendship group and that I had friends, Uni is supposed to be the time of your life, for me it was until November then somehow, suddenly things turned to
I really do feel for you, Join the club. I loved the way you said everything in order, thats whats happening to me exactly right now at uni, 1st year, we can be friends if you want, I dont mind. reply back thanx..
Im a bristol fresher too, and i feel like this is exactly what happened to me. Only difference is flatmates, I didn't end up in the halls i wanted and my flatmates aren't like me, but we still get on ok. I dont talk to people in my halls anymore (usually because they dont want to talk to me). I think its down to the cliquey atmosphere, but rahs might come into it somewhere too. I've fallen out with some of the people in my halls. What worries me is that the second year students who i talked to said last years freshers were a lot more social.
Im still thinking about dropping out and reapplying for next year, but the money is putting me off. I would have wasted the first term fees and i heard tuition fees are going up next year too. Im told the ucas deadline this year is jan 15th but i really dont want to go through all that again.
I cant give you advice about what to do but if you want to know anything what im doing message me. Also, i can give you some hard engineering material to pwn your flatmate with. Your flatmates sound like a bunch of gits so don't bother with them. Just because you live with them it doesnt mean you have to be friends.
Im still thinking about dropping out and reapplying for next year, but the money is putting me off. I would have wasted the first term fees and i heard tuition fees are going up next year too. Im told the ucas deadline this year is jan 15th but i really dont want to go through all that again.
I cant give you advice about what to do but if you want to know anything what im doing message me. Also, i can give you some hard engineering material to pwn your flatmate with.
Your flatmates sound like a bunch of gits so don't bother with them. Just because you live with them it doesnt mean you have to be friends.Quick Reply
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