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Arranged Marriages - Right or Wrong???????
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I didn't think my first post on this website would be on anything other than the darn thesis that I'm researching for but this topic caught my interest and so I thought I would share my two pennies worth.
I think it's important to make a distinction between ARRANGED marriages and FORCED marriages. In the case of the former, an individual is introduced to someone their parents/family/friends think may be compatible for them and the two parties get to know one another with no form of pressure. Done in this way, I don't think an arranged marriage is any different to introducing your mate 'Sarah' to your other mate 'John' because they have similar tastes/personalities/interests/lifestyles and just might hit it off. Two of my siblings met their partners in this way and have been happily married for 17 and 11 years respectively. Had I not met my partner, I would have been happy to follow the same path to finding someone - my parents/family/friends know me well and I would trust them to introduce me to like-minded people...and if they got it horribly wrong, big deal - there would no pressure to marry that person!
It's forced marriages that I have a problem with where the two parties do not have a say in the matter. Whether it's put down to cultural traditions, religious teachings or just 'the way things are done' I think it's wrong and inhumane.
I think it's important to make a distinction between ARRANGED marriages and FORCED marriages. In the case of the former, an individual is introduced to someone their parents/family/friends think may be compatible for them and the two parties get to know one another with no form of pressure. Done in this way, I don't think an arranged marriage is any different to introducing your mate 'Sarah' to your other mate 'John' because they have similar tastes/personalities/interests/lifestyles and just might hit it off. Two of my siblings met their partners in this way and have been happily married for 17 and 11 years respectively. Had I not met my partner, I would have been happy to follow the same path to finding someone - my parents/family/friends know me well and I would trust them to introduce me to like-minded people...and if they got it horribly wrong, big deal - there would no pressure to marry that person!
It's forced marriages that I have a problem with where the two parties do not have a say in the matter. Whether it's put down to cultural traditions, religious teachings or just 'the way things are done' I think it's wrong and inhumane.
AqsaJaved
What do people think about arranged marriages?
Being brought up as a muslim myself, my family havent been very religious and i am happy with my boyfriend but would love in the way future to marry.
I feel personally that arranged marriages are completely wrong and just wierd, you dont know the guy, for all you know he can be a murderer lol. I have noticed though some arranged marriage do last a long time but i just think its wrong, what do others think?
Being brought up as a muslim myself, my family havent been very religious and i am happy with my boyfriend but would love in the way future to marry.
I feel personally that arranged marriages are completely wrong and just wierd, you dont know the guy, for all you know he can be a murderer lol. I have noticed though some arranged marriage do last a long time but i just think its wrong, what do others think?
It seems you might have a peculiar view of arranged marriages. They are not what you make it out to be, unless compulsion is involved. They work on the basis of mutual consent of both the parents and the daughter/sons. If the daughters/sons object then the parents are required to choose another.
Summer83
I didn't think my first post on this website would be on anything other than the darn thesis that I'm researching for but this topic caught my interest and so I thought I would share my two pennies worth.
I think it's important to make a distinction between ARRANGED marriages and FORCED marriages. In the case of the former, an individual is introduced to someone their parents/family/friends think may be compatible for them and the two parties get to know one another with no form of pressure. Done in this way, I don't think an arranged marriage is any different to introducing your mate 'Sarah' to your other mate 'John' because they have similar tastes/personalities/interests/lifestyles and just might hit it off. Two of my siblings met their partners in this way and have been happily married for 17 and 11 years respectively. Had I not met my partner, I would have been happy to follow the same path to finding someone - my parents/family/friends know me well and I would trust them to introduce me to like-minded people...and if they got it horribly wrong, big deal - there would no pressure to marry that person!
It's forced marriages that I have a problem with where the two parties do not have a say in the matter. Whether it's put down to cultural traditions, religious teachings or just 'the way things are done' I think it's wrong and inhumane.
I think it's important to make a distinction between ARRANGED marriages and FORCED marriages. In the case of the former, an individual is introduced to someone their parents/family/friends think may be compatible for them and the two parties get to know one another with no form of pressure. Done in this way, I don't think an arranged marriage is any different to introducing your mate 'Sarah' to your other mate 'John' because they have similar tastes/personalities/interests/lifestyles and just might hit it off. Two of my siblings met their partners in this way and have been happily married for 17 and 11 years respectively. Had I not met my partner, I would have been happy to follow the same path to finding someone - my parents/family/friends know me well and I would trust them to introduce me to like-minded people...and if they got it horribly wrong, big deal - there would no pressure to marry that person!
It's forced marriages that I have a problem with where the two parties do not have a say in the matter. Whether it's put down to cultural traditions, religious teachings or just 'the way things are done' I think it's wrong and inhumane.
Beat me to writing that.
AqsaJaved
What do people think about arranged marriages?
Being brought up as a muslim myself, my family havent been very religious and i am happy with my boyfriend but would love in the way future to marry.
I feel personally that arranged marriages are completely wrong and just wierd, you dont know the guy, for all you know he can be a murderer lol. I have noticed though some arranged marriage do last a long time but i just think its wrong, what do others think?
Being brought up as a muslim myself, my family havent been very religious and i am happy with my boyfriend but would love in the way future to marry.
I feel personally that arranged marriages are completely wrong and just wierd, you dont know the guy, for all you know he can be a murderer lol. I have noticed though some arranged marriage do last a long time but i just think its wrong, what do others think?
You're going to have an epic facepalm moment if your loving boyfriend chops you up and puts you in the freezer.
0201Bean
There is a difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage.
This
fools
Statistics, anyone? :3
When Mao came along with his reforms in the First Five Year Plan, he tackled the issue of women. He created the marriage law, which banned arranged marriages from being legal..
What followed? A whole wave of divorces, 3/4 of those being from the women.
So, in a nutshell, arranged marriages can be a bit of a pain, especially in a culture where men usually rule. But, nowadays, women aren't being sold by their brothers...
So I think, anyway.
As long as the marriage isn't forced, the people involved have some say, and the father isn't being a total pimp, I don't really see the problem.
I mean, chances are an arranged marriage will last. Look at western marriages - 2/3 wedded couples get divorced. I'm not going to preach until that goes down.
When Mao came along with his reforms in the First Five Year Plan, he tackled the issue of women. He created the marriage law, which banned arranged marriages from being legal..
What followed? A whole wave of divorces, 3/4 of those being from the women.
So, in a nutshell, arranged marriages can be a bit of a pain, especially in a culture where men usually rule. But, nowadays, women aren't being sold by their brothers...
So I think, anyway.
As long as the marriage isn't forced, the people involved have some say, and the father isn't being a total pimp, I don't really see the problem.
I mean, chances are an arranged marriage will last. Look at western marriages - 2/3 wedded couples get divorced. I'm not going to preach until that goes down.
WRONG ! Let people live their own lives, make their own decisions, make their own mistakes, and find their own happiness.
Wesssty
It's like a rape that lasts 40 years 
i disagree with you !
ive seen and met people who have arranged marriages and now they love each other and have soo much understanding ur view is very sterotypical, im sorry to say ! people in society hold this view and its wrong, not that i personally agree with this but ur statement is wrong. These marriages work only is there is mutual consent.
chavvy
A little only?
Haha i sort off mean if you dnt know the person tht well, i know the person will still be family but some family members can be creeeeps and just pretend lol very unlikely.
Walter Ego
WRONG ! Let people live their own lives, make their own decisions, make their own mistakes, and find their own happiness.
I AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
it's perfectly fine if both parties consent 
i think its ok if the people being arranged to marry are willing but i think its wrong to be denied the opportunity to marry someone of your own choosing.
Wrong. I really, really don't see the point in arranged marriages.
InquilabZindabad
Wrong. I really, really don't see the point in arranged marriages.
Proof of the fact that nothing in-between the OP's post and the ''Post a Comment'' box was visible to you.
How can they be right? Both parties barely get to know each other so I don't understand why people agree to marrying strangers ( the "get to know time is never longer than a month because by that time one party will consider someone else)
that brings up another issue. It makes people arrogant thinking they have all the choice to just pick whoever they want.
Also girls are expected to marry before the age of 25 because other wise they become undesirable as being too old and won't get that many proposals due to younger competition. It's more of a culture thing.
Finally a family looking for a match will ALWAYS consider the status, wealth and reputation of the other family before sending a proposal e.g.
" Ahmeds family has 4 doctors in it and he is a medical student himself. They also contribute alot to the local area and are well known. They sound like an excellent family to send a proposal to"
the focus should be on the boy and the girl. And that can be achieved through love marraige.
I believe families should be involved but ONLY after the boyfriend and girlfriend decide to marry after they know each other for some time. That way it puts the boy and the girl in the driving seat
that brings up another issue. It makes people arrogant thinking they have all the choice to just pick whoever they want.
Also girls are expected to marry before the age of 25 because other wise they become undesirable as being too old and won't get that many proposals due to younger competition. It's more of a culture thing.
Finally a family looking for a match will ALWAYS consider the status, wealth and reputation of the other family before sending a proposal e.g.
" Ahmeds family has 4 doctors in it and he is a medical student himself. They also contribute alot to the local area and are well known. They sound like an excellent family to send a proposal to"
the focus should be on the boy and the girl. And that can be achieved through love marraige.
I believe families should be involved but ONLY after the boyfriend and girlfriend decide to marry after they know each other for some time. That way it puts the boy and the girl in the driving seat
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