Ending 'relationship' but staying friends.
This post is going to put me in a terrible light but, it's honest so I don't care that much.
I met a guy earlier this year, we slept together a lot, spent a lot of time together, I guess we were practically 'together' but both agreed we didn't really want to go into a relationship. I'd just come out of something massive and long term and said I didn't want to be exclusive and was happy just to have fun if he was, which he seemed to be.
He then went away, and kind of now seems to think we are an 'item', and has referred to me as his girlfriend before in a non-joking way. I'm not honestly sure how this happened. I like him well enough but he's pretty similar to my ex and I can see myself hugely resenting him if this goes on. He can be really negative and this really brings me down. Besides which, I have slept with other people, not randomers but good friends of mine, and I know if he knew that he wouldn't be happy, which makes me feel incredibly guilty even though I did tell him I didn't want or promise exclusivity.
I really kind of want to end this weird 'relationship' we're now in, I don't think it's going well for us. He seems to be really into me and always goes on about missing me because he's working in a different city. It just makes me feel kind of claustrophobic. However I really don't want to stop being friends. We have plans to go to festivals and stuff over the summer which would be so much fun.
In this situation, if you really liked someone and were sort of together and then they said to you they didn't want an exclusive relationship, do you think you could still just be friends and it not be really weird?
I met a guy earlier this year, we slept together a lot, spent a lot of time together, I guess we were practically 'together' but both agreed we didn't really want to go into a relationship. I'd just come out of something massive and long term and said I didn't want to be exclusive and was happy just to have fun if he was, which he seemed to be.
He then went away, and kind of now seems to think we are an 'item', and has referred to me as his girlfriend before in a non-joking way. I'm not honestly sure how this happened. I like him well enough but he's pretty similar to my ex and I can see myself hugely resenting him if this goes on. He can be really negative and this really brings me down. Besides which, I have slept with other people, not randomers but good friends of mine, and I know if he knew that he wouldn't be happy, which makes me feel incredibly guilty even though I did tell him I didn't want or promise exclusivity.
I really kind of want to end this weird 'relationship' we're now in, I don't think it's going well for us. He seems to be really into me and always goes on about missing me because he's working in a different city. It just makes me feel kind of claustrophobic. However I really don't want to stop being friends. We have plans to go to festivals and stuff over the summer which would be so much fun.
In this situation, if you really liked someone and were sort of together and then they said to you they didn't want an exclusive relationship, do you think you could still just be friends and it not be really weird?
If you end this relationship, end the friendship and cut contact too.
By the looks of it, he's becoming attached and eventually you'll just end up in bed, he'll say he's over the fact that you slept with others, and still want to be with you. But you don't want to, so end the relationship if you want.
But as for staying friends, it doesn't look like it'll end well, you can by all means give it a try, but personally, i'd cut all ties for a period of time, at the very least.
By the looks of it, he's becoming attached and eventually you'll just end up in bed, he'll say he's over the fact that you slept with others, and still want to be with you. But you don't want to, so end the relationship if you want.
But as for staying friends, it doesn't look like it'll end well, you can by all means give it a try, but personally, i'd cut all ties for a period of time, at the very least.
He never asked you if you were exclusive, or even asked to be in a relationship with you. So there is no 'relationship' to end.
You need to make your feelings clear to him, that his behaviour is too much like a relationship for you, and that you aren't exclusive and you have seen other people while seeing him.
If he so desperately wanted a relationship with you, he can easily opt out of this arrangement
I have a pet hate of guys that just assume you are 'together' or that you're 'his girl' when you never agreed to be!
I know very few guys are actually like this
You need to make your feelings clear to him, that his behaviour is too much like a relationship for you, and that you aren't exclusive and you have seen other people while seeing him.
If he so desperately wanted a relationship with you, he can easily opt out of this arrangement
I have a pet hate of guys that just assume you are 'together' or that you're 'his girl' when you never agreed to be!
I know very few guys are actually like this
Well you told him from the beginning you didn't want a relationship, just a bit of fun. He knows that.
Just tell him you feel that he is more into this then you are and tell him again you don't want another relationship, the quicker you tell him the more chance you two have of still being friends.
Just tell him you feel that he is more into this then you are and tell him again you don't want another relationship, the quicker you tell him the more chance you two have of still being friends.
I would just tell him everything you told us, but maybe make it a wee bit simpler and try to take into consideration his feelings as it's obvious he really likes you.
Original post by Hopple
I think your friendship is over unless you manage to make yourself sexually unappealing to him, but still good company. Maybe you could act a bit 'blokey'/less feminine around him?
That or bite the bullet and hope he doesn't go nuts.
That or bite the bullet and hope he doesn't go nuts.
Lols I don't think I could be more blokey if I tried. apparently that's attractive to him :/ But maybe there's some way I can just make him not want to be with me but be okay about being friends or something. Otherwise I think you guys are right, he won't be happy just being friends, though he might say he is.
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