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boyfriend doesn’t want to move away

hey so i’m looking for some relationship advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years since we were really young, (we started dating at 15!) im now 20 and he’s 19. We are very happy and he’s my best friend. I go to uni in manchester, which is my hometown (i do live in halls though) and he does an apprenticeship and lives at home. Although manchester is great and I do have a good social life I have realised towards the end of my first year that once i graduate I want to move away, lifes to short to live in one place forever imo! I’ve always wanted to travel and see the world. Ive decided since I can’t do a year abroad as part of my degree I want to go to Australia for a year when i graduate and work there. However, i talked to my boyfriend about this and he really doesn’t like the idea of it and doesn’t think our relationship would work out even though i said i would try to make it work. It’s also become more clear that he doesn’t want to live far from where he already is now due to family (wants to stay around mcr) . I understand that’s his decision and I would never force him to uproot his life and leave but I always don’t want to be held back and don’t want to live in the same place forever. Is it possible to make a LDR work for a year? Should I be worried of my boyfriend holding me back? everything else about our relationship is great too :frown: and he wants to travel while still living in mcr. When i’m older i don’t mind living in the UK (maybe not mcr) but as i’m so young i want to travel and live abroad! what should i do?
Reply 1
Is it possible to have a long distance relationship for a year?

Yes, it is but involved a lot of work, communication, sacrifice and compromise and tbh, most people can’t survive a long distant relationship, even when they’ll be aprt less than a year or have been together for longer than you two. There’s a lot of reasons to it, and plenty of threads on Tsr about it.

It’s more likely to work if both of you are on the same page, willing to put in the effort and time, and ultimately positive about the experience. Ideally, he would go with you.

However, Sounds like he doesn’t want to go and won’t change his mind any time soon. The only thing you can do is what you’ve started to do, which is talk to him, explain your feelings, wants and ambition.

He might not change his mind and you’ll have to accept that ultimately. You’ll then need to make a decision on what to do next, stay or go.

Honestly, you shouldn’t miss out of the experience and doing what you want to do just because your boyfriend doesn’t. It’s not worth it, sounds bad, but you can find someone else, but if he truly care for you, he’ll support you and try help make it work.
If it’s a truly strong relationship and meant to be, then you’ll survive and manage. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be.

You might need to make a decision not on trying to do LDR and make it work, but if the relationship can survive and exist if you do end up going. I would say, that’s not your problem. If you want to go, then go and if he wants to stay then fine. Don’t let him hold you back, you’ll most likely look back and regret it (if you don’t go), and potentially just hate or blame him for it for not going whe. You look back at it and just frustrate your.

Just have to talk it through, think about the implications and make a decision. Good thing is, you have some time to think about it.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Is it possible to have a long distance relationship for a year?

Yes, it is but involved a lot of work, communication, sacrifice and compromise and tbh, most people can’t survive a long distant relationship, even when they’ll be aprt less than a year or have been together for longer than you two. There’s a lot of reasons to it, and plenty of threads on Tsr about it.

It’s more likely to work if both of you are on the same page, willing to put in the effort and time, and ultimately positive about the experience. Ideally, he would go with you.

However, Sounds like he doesn’t want to go and won’t change his mind any time soon. The only thing you can do is what you’ve started to do, which is talk to him, explain your feelings, wants and ambition.

He might not change his mind and you’ll have to accept that ultimately. You’ll then need to make a decision on what to do next, stay or go.

Honestly, you shouldn’t miss out of the experience and doing what you want to do just because your boyfriend doesn’t. It’s not worth it, sounds bad, but you can find someone else, but if he truly care for you, he’ll support you and try help make it work.
If it’s a truly strong relationship and meant to be, then you’ll survive and manage. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be.

You might need to make a decision not on trying to do LDR and make it work, but if the relationship can survive and exist if you do end up going. I would say, that’s not your problem. If you want to go, then go and if he wants to stay then fine. Don’t let him hold you back, you’ll most likely look back and regret it (if you don’t go), and potentially just hate or blame him for it for not going whe. You look back at it and just frustrate your.

Just have to talk it through, think about the implications and make a decision. Good thing is, you have some time to think about it.


Thanks for taking the time to reply :smile:
Im glad I have so long to decide what to do because it’s a big decision but to be honest even if i don’t go to Australia for a year I can’t see myself staying in Manchester. I’ll end up getting bored of it and wanting to travel, either backpacking in europe or moving to london for work. So it’s really important to me that my boyfriend will come with me or will be on the same page as me with making a LDR work. I also think that a relationship isn’t guaranteed to work either way to I shouldn’t miss out on opportunities because of my boyfriend, besides I’d be willing to make it work and be committed, i don’t care about being single i just want to explore different places! I would also love him to come with me but his apprenticeship and job wouldn’t allow him to leave for such a long time and part of the reason i want to go is to grow and become more independent, although i’d still be happy to compromise on that if he could come. I’ve never done long distance before either so no idea how hard it would be :frown:

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