relationships, sex, drugs and life

I am a 19-year-old adult, male, about to be 20 the next month and my sophomore year has just ended.

When I was in junior college, I fell hard in love with a girl who could not reciprocate the same feelings and efforts. I waited for her approval for about two and a half years but did not get it.

When I confessed to her about my feelings, she was already dating someone, so we decided to be just friends. Later she broke up with him but did not even accept me after that. Around a year and a half ago after our university started, she cut me off completely. And about 10 months ago, she started dating someone else at her university.

Meanwhile, I was shattered by her decision of choosing someone. I could not see any potential date or relationship coming my way ever since she cut me off. I was insecure about not getting any relationship so I went on to lose my virginity to a sex worker.

I still regret that choice of mine. And that is the first and only time I had sex. I tried for a couple of relationships after that but I only faced rejections everywhere I tried.

I also started using excessive drugs and alcohol after that. But I am ready to quit them. But I am still very insecure about the fact that I faced multiple rejections and lost my virginity to a sex worker. While almost all my friends around me are in a monogamous relationship and frequently get laid. As a man, it makes me very very insecure.

What else kills me from the inside is that she is having regular sex with her boyfriend at university while I think I am still not completely over her. Picturizing her doing the process of intercourse with her boyfriend makes me want to feel nothing from the inside because all I feel is pain.

The girl that I loved is with another man and is in a sexual relationship with her, almost all my friends around me are in relationships or getting laid frequently, and the fact that I can't find a relationship and I lost my virginity to a sex worker, whilst recovering from drugs and alcohol, all of this **** combining with career pressure and family tension (my family is financially not so well and they have all the hope on me as I study in the most prestigious university of the country) makes it hard for me to live.

I know my story might be a little ****ed up but how do I get things in place? I need some help