Do they still like me?

A few weeks ago I had a fling with someone. We have a lot in common (hobbies, philosophies, upbringings, career field etc) and share the same friend group so we see each other a lot. One day they randomly "broke up" with me and said it was because "we wouldn't work long-term". After a few days of struggling to accept that they no longer likes me, we became good friends.

Now, they are starting to send what I think are mixed signals. We're constantly meeting each others gazes, they get quite concerned when I'm sad and tries to cheer me up, pushes me out of my comfort zone, gives advice when i'm fighting with my dad and we have semi-heartfelt conversations. They say that they care about me and that they want whats best for me. Now I know that these are things friends do but our friend group says they still like me but theyve made it clear that a relationship w/me isnt what they want. Are these the actions of someone thats crushing on you or just a very good friend?

Reply 1

username5948568

They've told you they don't want a relationship with you.

I don't think you've moved on and you're still hung up on them romantically - of course, understandably so. You still have feelings for them, but as you said, everything you have listed is what friends do. They're being a good friend to you. It doesn't matter what your friends think, they're not your crush. Your crush clearly told you and has set the boundary that you're JUST friends. Let it go and move on.

The more you linger on this, or even ask them once more - could push them away. Move on, go out and meet someone new. If being friends with them is too much for you and can't help you move on, distance yourself or unfriend them.

One more thing! You need to respect the fact they said no to you. I know it can be heart-wrenching, unrequited love can suck. BUT, you're not entitled to a relationship with this person. So let the past stay in the past. And when other people like your shared friends talk about it, tell them its in the past and you've moved on/in the process of moving on.

I once had a romanitic-ish thing with a friend who asked me out, I rejected them. They asked me out 4x after - it ended up pushing me away because I felt so uncomfortable and stopped talking to them.

This is just infatuation. Fill your life up with activities, pursue your goals - and you'll slowly move on and become a happier, healthier person.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

londonmyst

No.
They seem only to like you as a platonic friend and have told you that there is no chance of any other relationship.

Best to move on.
In future never date or hookup with friends because it can ruin the friendship dynamic.
Don't make friends with anyone that you are attracted to.
Good luck!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Thanks so much guys! Your advice has really helped :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Weird to come back to this after so long but I was teaching my sister how to use tsr so I thought why not ahah.

It turns out that they very much did like me. Despite my pursuits and then having mutual feelings, they felt embarrassed about going back on themselves and admitting that they want to try a proper relationship. Thankfully, they admitted their feelings after I had moved on and went on a few dates with other people (So I knew getting with them wasn’t due to my emotional state). We’ve had many talks about how their actions affected me but we were able to sort it out in the end :smile:

We’ve been dating for about 9 months and have had an amazing time